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Home for the Holidays: 5 Ways to Navigate Holiday Family Dynamics and Fuel Your Inner Peace

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

As much as we love the holiday season, it’s also a time of heightened stress—one that can amplify long-standing family patterns and dynamics. The holidays are different from most other times of year because we often placate and compromise more during interactions just to get through the event. We may tolerate behaviors or slip into family roles we wouldn’t otherwise accept.

While compromise has its place, creating positive family memories shouldn’t come at the expense of our emotional wellbeing. Here are five ways to protect yourself from emotional burnout while celebrating with family this holiday season.

What Role Are You Cast In?

When we step back into family and friend circles during the holidays, familiar patterns of interaction and communication often resurface. These dynamics can pull us back into roles we may have long forgotten—or already outgrown. Roles like The Peacemaker, The Jokester, Mom’s Favorite, or The Black Sheep are shaped over time and influence how we feel about ourselves and others.

Each family role also comes with its own emotional weight, sometimes stirring up intense feelings like anger, anxiety, or abandonment. One helpful thing to remember is that every role serves a purpose within the family system. When you can reflect on the role (or roles) you tend to occupy and increase awareness of the function it plays, you’re less likely to be unintentionally pulled back into it—and into its emotional aftermath.

Don’t Fight the Feeling

Resurfacing family roles and patterns can trigger some of our most intense emotional experiences. During the holidays, we often try to compartmentalize or push emotions aside just to get through gatherings. But emotions have a way of sneaking out anyway—often through less adaptive behaviors like sarcasm, overindulgence, social withdrawal, or internalized sadness, anxiety, or anger. Over time, these outlets contribute to emotional burnout.

Instead of suppressing emotions, try noticing them. Pay attention to how a particular person or interaction makes you feel, and give that feeling a bit of breathing room. What might it be telling you—to back off, reduce contact, speak up for yourself, or seek support elsewhere? Even if you don’t act on the emotion, acknowledging it helps release internal pressure and lowers your emotional temperature.

Write New Endings to Old Stories

Do interactions with certain family members always seem to end the same way? If your answer is a resounding yes, here’s the good news: you have more control than it might feel like.

Identify the familiar “story arc”—the beginning, middle, and typical ending of the interaction. Then imagine a few alternative endings that would feel more supportive or aligned with your needs. For example, instead of an ending marked by escalation or shutdown, you might choose one where you express yourself directly and respectfully, or one where you take space before emotions run too high.

When you notice yourself entering a familiar rerun, you can consciously turn the page and choose a different ending.

Boundaries Are the Perfect Gift to Give

One of the most effective ways to step out of well-worn family roles and change interaction patterns is through clear boundaries. Practice stating boundaries using simple, direct language:

  • “I’ll be leaving at 9:00 pm.” 
  • “Please don’t speak to me that way.” 
  • “That’s not something I want to talk about.” 

Notice that each of these is an “I” statement. Focusing on what you will or won’t do—rather than trying to manage someone else’s behavior—makes boundaries far more effective and less dependent on others’ reactions. Truly, boundaries are the gift that keeps on giving.

Beware of the Shame and Guilt Trap

Some family members may respond to boundaries by attempting to induce guilt or shame. Don’t fall for it. You are allowed to have physical and emotional needs.

Expressing what you want or need gives others the opportunity to respect you and, in some cases, strengthen the relationship. If someone isn’t able—or willing—to make space for your needs, remind yourself that your wellbeing still matters. Taking emotional or physical space can be an act of self-respect, not selfishness.

Conclusion

As the holidays unfold, remember that you don’t have to show up perfectly—you just have to show up honestly. Family dynamics are deeply wired, and noticing them without judgment is already meaningful work. Each moment of awareness, each boundary you honor, and each pause you take to care for yourself is a step toward creating holidays that feel more peaceful and more authentic. 

 

Happy Holidays from all of us at Monarch Behavioral Health 

Make an appointment today! https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/

Fuel Your Fire: Prevent and Recover from Burnout Using Emotional Intelligence and Self-Compassion

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Burnout isn’t just “being tired.” It’s a full-body, full-mind experience that can drain your energy, dull your motivation, and make even the work you once loved feel overwhelming. In fact, between 30–75% of people worldwide report experiencing burnout at some point. If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Am I just exhausted, or am I burning out?” — you’re not alone.

What Exactly Is Burnout?

Burnout is more than stress. It’s a recognized syndrome caused by chronic stress associated with a particular role (e.g., job, caregiving)  that isn’t successfully managed. It typically shows up in three dimensions:

  • Exhaustion – feeling drained, depleted, and unable to recharge.

  • Depersonalization – becoming detached, cynical, or negative about your work.

  • Reduced Accomplishment – feeling ineffective, unmotivated, or like you’re failing.

Left unchecked, burnout impacts not only your work, but your physical health, relationships, and overall wellbeing.

Spotting the Warning Signs

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It sneaks up on us through gradual signs:

  • Physical: disrupted sleep, low energy, changes in appetite, unexplained aches/pains.

  • Behavioral: procrastination, reduced productivity and efficiency, withdrawal from responsibilities.

  • Emotional/Mental: irritability, cynicism, brain fog, emotional exhaustion.

Noticing these signals early is key to preventing burnout from taking over.

Why Do We Burn Out?

The causes often come from two sides:

  • Work Factors: overwhelming workload, lack of values match with job or role, lack of control, unfair treatment, low rewards, and/or disconnection from community, distressing work tasks
  • Self Factors: tying self-worth to productivity and work identity, valuing self-sacrifice as a personal ideal, self-blame and low self-empathy, and/or struggling to balance other roles and responsibilities in life.

Interestingly, those who care the most — helpers, teachers, healthcare providers, parents, and leaders — are at highest risk for burnout.

Fighting Back: Emotional Intelligence as Your GPS

Emotions are not the enemy. In fact, they act like an internal GPS guiding us toward what we need. By practicing emotional intelligence (EI), you can learn to:

  1. Recognize and label your emotions accurately. We only have 6-8 basic emotions! Sure, we have thousands of descriptions for subtle differences in each emotion, but if we can label the core emotion accurately, this is very powerful.

  2. Understand how emotions link to motivation and action. Each of our basic emotion states links to specific motivational states and behaviors. For example, happiness links to a desire to keep doing the thing that is making us happy. Sadness links to rest, recouping the loss and connecting to others. As you learn emotion-motivation-action linking, emotions are far less overwhelming.

  3. Use emotions as guideposts for action and direction. Putting all the information together, we can make an action plan that points us in the direction of getting our actual needs and wants met in a healthy way – whether that means resting, seeking support, or setting boundaries.

When you tune into your emotions, they stop being roadblocks and start being signals that point you back toward balance.

The Secret Weapon: Mindful Self-Compassion

One of the most powerful antidotes to burnout is treating yourself with the same compassion you give to others. This means:

  • Permission: Allow yourself to feel and acknowledge your limits. Allow yourself to be as kind to YOU as you are to others.

  • Mindfulness: Practice being fully present without judgment or distraction. Daily sensory mindfulness practices are a great way to cultivate this ability. .

  • Common Humanity: Remember, burnout is a shared human experience, not a personal failing. We are all flawed and we all make mistakes.

  • Self-Compassion: Replace harsh self-criticism with care, understanding, and patience. Notice self-critical thoughts. Imagine your friend was saying these things about themself. How would you respond to that friend – now turn that empathy and compassion inward. 

Simple daily practices — like repeating a mantra (“My work is important, and so am I”), mindful breathing, or noticing and reframing negative self-talk — can help you rebuild resilience.

Creating Your Burnout Recovery Plan

Recovering from burnout isn’t about powering through — it’s about addressing work and self factors, so you can realign your approach to work with your values and daily capacity. A strong recovery plan includes:

  • Addressing workplace factors with a practical, solution-focused approach.

  • Building emotional intelligence to listen to your internal GPS.

  • Practicing mindful self-compassion daily to stay grounded and resilient.

Burnout isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a signal — and when you listen with compassion and curiosity, you can use it as a turning point toward healthier, more sustainable ways of working and living.

From Chaos to Calm: Back-to-School Transitions That Work

Written by: Jessica Hauser-Harrington, PhD, LP

One of the best ways to support your family’s mental wellness in the back to school chaos is to use evidence-based strategies to manage the transition. These strategies can help lower stress and support a calmer entry into the school year for kids and parents!

Reviewing Last Year’s School Routine: Keep What Works, Change What Doesn’t

Why planning ahead makes school mornings more calm and less stressful.

It’s useful to start with a review of the previous year’s routine–what worked last year and what didn’t? Was the morning routine a hot mess? Was the carpooling schedule too complicated? Do you need to adjust your children’ wake up time? There’s no need to reinvent the wheel if things are working well, but if there is room for improvement, the weeks leading up to school’s start can be a good time to test out some new possibilities. 

Practicing New School Routines to Reduce First-Day Anxiety

From visiting the playground to testing new routes—ease the transition before it starts.

If there is a change to your routine – a new school, a new start time, etc.– practicing the new changes can help reduce anxiety a great deal. If your children are starting at a new school, take a few trips to the school’s playground or sports fields. Join a local parent group or school PTO group online and invite some new potential friends to meet at the playground before school starts to help encourage new friendships and have a few friendly faces at school the first day.  If your child will be walking to school on their own or with friends, take a few practice trips to review the route and give reminders about safety concerns. Practice might not make perfect, but practice does make us calm. 

Organizing School Supplies and Daily Essentials for a Stress-Free Morning

Routines are easier to execute when everything has its place 

Another helpful tip for preparing to return to school is assigning a place for frequently used items such as backpacks, laptops or tablets, lunch boxes/snack bags, water bottles, etc. Whether you use hooks, baskets, closets, or drawers, ensuring that everything has a place, and establishing a regular routine to put everything in its place can help cut down on the morning chaos. It’s common for kids to get distracted when they have to hunt down a missing or forgotten item, especially if they have to go to another floor of the home to look for it. One of my favorite tips is to keep a basket of socks in the same place where you keep your shoes. Another is to keep a set of toothbrushes and toothpaste in a first floor bathroom to minimize return trips upstairs.

Delegating School Prep Tasks to Boost Kids’ Independence

Developmentally appropriate responsibilities that build confidence and lighten your load.

Delegating school-related tasks is also a helpful way to share responsibilities and reduce stress. Help your kids take ownership of the developmentally appropriate tasks such as picking out clothes the night before, getting themselves dressed, packing lunches and/or snacks, making sure devices are charged, or even preparing simple breakfasts in the morning. Use the weeks leading up to school to practice these tasks by demonstrating, helping, and supervising your children when they take over the task. Not only will this build your child’s sense of self-efficancy and confidence, but it can take a few things off your plate too. Working together as a family to figure out what you can prepare ahead of time helps create calmer, less rushed school mornings.  

Sleep Schedule Reset: Getting Kids Ready for School Mornings

Gradual bedtime adjustments based on pediatric sleep recommendations.

Finally, if your family’s sleep routine has changed over the summer, make sure to start making small adjustments over the course of several days (or a week if possible) to get back to the bedtime and wake up time that will ensure your child gets enough sleep to feel rested and refreshed to start the school day. You can start by moving bedtime back by 15 minutes each night. Likewise, if your child needs to be woken up for school, start setting the alarm or other wake up routines in 15 minute increments to get to the necessary time. As a reminder, The American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommend the following sleep guidelines:

  • Preschoolers (3-5 years): 10-13 hours per 24-hour period, including naps.
  • School-aged children (6-12 years): 9-12 hours per 24-hour period.
  • Teenagers (13-18 years): 8-10 hours per 24 hour period. 

Conclusion

If you need help establishing routines, figuring out developmentally appropriate responsibilities, and increasing family cohesiveness, the professionals at Monarch are here to help! Parent coaching is available separately or as part of your child’s individualized treatment plan. Call or make an appointment through this link today! https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/ 

Summer Series 5: Emotions Are Your Brain’s GPS: Helping Neurodivergent Kids Navigate Big Feelings

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Emotions First, Regulation Later: Understanding Neurodivergent Emotional Processing

Our brains are wired for emotion before anything else. Long before we can talk, plan, or problem-solve, our emotional processing systems are fully online. For neurodivergent individuals—including those with ADHD, Autism, learning disabilities, or executive functioning challenges—emotions often feel bigger, faster, and harder to manage.

Ever notice your child goes from zero to sixty emotionally in seconds? That’s not misbehavior—it’s biology.

Emotions are your body’s built-in GPS. When we learn to tune in, name them, and understand what they’re pointing us toward, we can transform big feelings into powerful guides.

 This Skill Set Targets:

  • Intense emotions and emotional dysregulation

  • Impulsivity and difficulty with self-control

  • Social skills and perspective-taking

  • Problem-solving and conflict resolution

“Name It to Tame It”: The First Step to Regulation

Did you know that humans all over the world share six core emotions? These emotions are universal and hardwired:

  • Happy

  • Sad

  • Angry

  • Fear

  • Surprise/Shock

  • Disgust

When children use clear, basic emotion words instead of vague ones like “upset” or “mad,” it gives their brain a better roadmap for what to do next. Start practicing emotional literacy by naming the emotion out loud, then ask:

“How big is that feeling right now? Let’s rate it from 0 to 10.”

You can also model by labeling emotions in yourself as well as fictional characters::

  • Yourself: “I feel sad right now. I think I need a break.”

  • Your child: “It seems like you’re feeling angry—maybe a 7?”

  • Fictional characters: “What do you think she felt in that moment?”

Boosting Inner Self-Talk for Better Reflection

Many children with ADHD and similar profiles experience a delay in developing self talk — the voice in your head that helps you reflect, reason, and pause before acting. That’s why increasing external self-talk can help regulate emotions and reduce impulsivity.

After labeling an emotion, try asking open-ended reflection questions:

  • “What do you think made her/them/you feel that way?”

  • “What do you think they/you want to do now?”

  • “Is that something that will help or hurt?”

This kind of dialogue builds emotional insight, problem solving and executive functioning skills over time.

Link Emotions to Motivation: What Is This Feeling Telling Me?

Each emotion gives us a biological message about what we need or what action we should take:

Emotion Message
Sadness You may need comfort, closeness, or a break
Anger Something feels unfair or threatening—defend or set a boundary
Fear You feel unsafe—gather more info, seek safety or support
Surprise/Shock Pause and assess—something unexpected happened
Disgust Avoid or move away from something potentially harmful
Happiness Move toward connection, play, or enjoyment

Try asking:

  • “What do you think your sadness is telling you you need?”

  • “What might that character do next, based on the emotion they were feeling?”

This step helps children translate emotion into action, increasing both motivation and emotional intelligence.

Final Thoughts: Emotions Aren’t the Problem—They’re the Map!

At our practice, we help neurodivergent kids, teens, and adults understand that emotions aren’t bad—they’re information. With the right tools and support, these emotions become stepping stones toward self-awareness, resilience, and connection.

If your child struggles with impulsivity, meltdowns, or social misunderstandings, you’re not alone. These strategies are a starting point—but sometimes individualized support makes all the difference.

Reach out for personalized emotional regulation coaching or support—we’re here to help your child thrive. Call 248-220-3332 or follow the link to make an appointment https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/  

Summer Skills Series #4: Physical Regulation for Neurodivergent Bodies & Minds: Tools to Slow, Go, and Grow

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Body Awareness Builds Brainpower: How Physical Regulation Unlocks Confidence and Calm

For many neurodivergent individuals—including those with ADHD, Autism, learning differences, or executive functioning challenges—the body doesn’t always match the moment. Sometimes, the energy feels like a rocket launch. Other times, it’s more like swimming through molasses. This tug-of-war between hyperactivity and under-activity can make everyday tasks—starting homework, daily routines, following directions, shifting between activities, or staying seated—feel monumental.

But here’s the powerful truth: with awareness and practice, we can teach our bodies when to slow down, when to go, and most importantly, how to respond with self-compassion.

Understanding Physical Dysregulation

Physical regulation refers to how we manage our body’s energy and movement in daily life. Neurodivergent kids, teens, and even adults often experience:

  • Hyperactivity: A revved-up, go-go-go feeling that can be hard to channel.
  • Underactivity: Feeling “stuck,” sluggish, or disconnected from physical energy.
  • Coordination and sensory challenges: Difficulty processing sensory input or coordinating movement smoothly.

These challenges become especially apparent during stress, social overwhelm, or academic strain—when other lagging skills like emotional regulation or communication come into play. That’s why learning to regulate physically can be a game-changer: it creates a stable platform from which all other skills can grow.

Let’s dive into three playful, effective strategies for supporting physical regulation in neurodivergent individuals.

1. Increase Awareness Without Judgment

Start by naming the experience in a neutral, observational way. This builds self-awareness without triggering shame or frustration.

Try reflective phrases like:

  • “Wow, I can see your body really wants to move right now.”
  • “Looks like your brain is having a tough time telling your body to get a move on.”

These statements validate the experience and introduce a sense of curiosity and control. Over time, they help kids and teens recognize their own internal cues.

2. Wonder Like a Scientist

When we respond to dysregulation with curiosity instead of correction, we create a sense of safety. Use open-ended questions to guide children and teens to connect with their needs.

Ask:

  • “I wonder what your body is trying to tell you?”
  • “What do you think might help you feel more ready to start?”

Approaching physical dysregulation as a clue, not a flaw, shifts the dynamic. Kids learn to become self-scientists—spotting patterns, exploring solutions, and advocating for themselves.

3. Cue and Practice Regulation Strategies

Physical regulation tools work best when they’re simple, fun, and consistently practiced. Here are some body-based strategies to try together:

  • Co-regulation: Move together! Go for a walk, do stretches, or dance. Your energy, presence and example helps them reset.
  • Movement breaks: Integrate silly, energizing breaks throughout the day—animal walks, jumping jacks, or “shake it out” songs.
  • Activate sensory cues: Use strong scents (peppermint or citrus), a light bop to the shoulder, or a spicy snack to stimulate alertness.
  • Calm cocooning: Support down-regulation with low sensory input—noise-canceling headphones, a soft blanket, or dim lighting can create a peaceful sensory retreat.

The key is consistency and flexibility—not every strategy works every time, and that’s okay. Keep exploring, and let your child lead the way. 

Final Thoughts: Confidence Comes from Connection

Building physical regulation skills is about more than managing energy—it’s about helping neurodivergent individuals feel seen, supported, and capable. With empathy, curiosity, and a toolkit of strategies, we empower them to meet life’s challenges with confidence and calm.

Whether your child is bouncing off the walls or stuck in slow motion, remember: the goal isn’t “perfect behavior.” The goal is connection, self-understanding, and growth.

Summer Skills Series 3: Why Boredom Is a Brain Booster – Helping Kids Embrace the Pause

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Boredom Isn’t the Enemy—It’s a Superpower in Disguise

In a world filled with screens, swipes, and instant dopamine hits, boredom can feel like a bad word—especially to kids. But what if we told you that boredom isn’t something to fix… it’s something to foster?

Boredom is a break for the brain. It allows for:

  • Mental rest

  • Imaginative play

  • Creative thinking and building cognitive connections

  • Problem-solving

  • Emotional regulation

Helping kids build a tolerance for boredom doesn’t just reduce screen meltdowns—it helps their brains develop in deep, meaningful ways.

 Tolerating boredom targets important areas of self regulation and executive functioning:

  • Break the dopamine dump & deprivation cycle
  • Increase attention regulation
  • Reduce tech tantrums
  • Increase frustration tolerance and sustained focus

How to Build a Boredom-Positive Mindset (Without the Eye Rolls)

1. Start with the Right Mindset: Boredom = Brain Power

First things first: Let’s reframe boredom not as a problem, but a gift.

When kids say, “I’m bored,” they’re often in a transitional space—between structured stimulation and the freedom to explore their own creativity and intelligence. We begin to feel uncomfortable and seek input, activity or experiences. If we harness this initial discomfort and label it as a cue or an opportunity, the brain lights up with possibility.

Try a family mantra to shift the vibe. Make it validating, not dismissive.

  • “Boredom is your brain getting ready to create!”

  • “The cure to boredom is curiosity.” – Dorothy Parker

  • “Boredom means your imagination is about to wake up.”

Make it a poster. Put it on the fridge. Say it together. Make boredom an opportunity.

2. Create a Go-To Boredom Buster Bank

Don’t scramble for ideas when the “I’m bored” chant begins—plan ahead!

Build a boredom buster system:

  • A summer bucket list everyone contributes to

  • A popsicle stick jar with fun, screen-free activity ideas

  • A visual board of ideas grouped by type (indoors, outdoors, creative, physical)

Examples might include:

  • Make up a new board game, build an epic  blanket fort, DIY obstacle course, nature scavenger hunt, start a kid-friendly podcast

3. Introduce New Challenge Tasks

When boredom hits, it’s our brain telling us it’s time to grow! It’s the perfect time to do something new or challenging.

Try these:

  • Learn a new skill (juggling, typing, origami)

  • Start a puzzle or brain teaser

  • Build something from scratch (LEGOs, wood, recycled materials)

  • Invent a new recipe or snack combo, start a personalized cookbook

  • Design a toy or invention—draw it out, prototype it with paper or blocks

  • Make up a new handshake

  • Learn to speak a few phrases in another language

The goal? Push beyond “easy fun” into “creative challenge.”

4. Watch for Time Vortex Traps

Some activities suck time and drain dopamine—leaving kids and adults crankier than before. Time vortexes might feel good at first, but typically impact mood negatively and decrease tolerance for boredom in the long run.

⚠️ Keep an eye on:

  • Endless scrolling

  • Passive video-watching

  • “Just one more” gaming loops

These activities can hijack attention and tank frustration tolerance. Balance them with intentional downtime and active engagement.

5. Schedule ‘Mind Expansion Time’

Yes, you can schedule boredom—and call it something cooler.

Set aside 30–60 minutes a day for summer bucket list items, challenge tasks, or:

  • Open-ended play

  • Quiet thinking or prompted journaling

  • Reading something weird and wonderful

  • Tinkering, creating, or exploring

Call it “Imagination Hour” or “Brain Recharge Time.” Make it part of your daily rhythm—just like meals or bedtime.

6. Break out! Do Something You Don’t Usually Do

Break the routine to spark curiosity.

Ask your child:
“What’s something we always say we should do more often?”
Maybe it’s:

  • Trying a new recipe

  • Visiting a local museum

  • Making cards for a neighbor

  • Going for a nature walk with a field journal

Make a “We Should Do That More Often” list—and pick one thing when boredom strikes.

Final Thoughts: Boredom Builds Brilliance

Boredom is more than a moment of “nothing to do.” It’s a launchpad for resilience, self-regulation, and imaginative growth.

With the right mindset and a few simple strategies, you can turn tech tantrums into moments of discovery—and help your child build lifelong mental wellness tools along the way.

So next time you hear “I’m bored,” smile and say,
“Awesome. My brain’s about to do something amazing.” 

Summer Skills Series #2: Beating the Time Warp – A Fun Guide to Mastering Time Awareness

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

⏰ “Wait…That Took HOW Long?!” — Understanding Time Blindness

Ever asked your child to clean their room, only to find them still deciding where to start 30 minutes later? Or maybe they swear their homework took “two hours!,” when the task really only took about 5 minutes? 

That’s time blindness—the brain’s subjective sense of how time is passing. And for people with executive functioning challenges, fun tasks move like lightening while less fun tasks move like molasses. Sure, this is true for everyone to some degree, but it is amplified in individuals with executive functioning challenges or ADHD.

Time blindness is a real executive functioning challenge that affects:

  • Time awareness
  • Task initiation
  • Sustaining effort
  • Frustration tolerance

When kids’ perception of time is not very accurate, their anticipatory anxiety over less fun tasks (like chores or homework) increases, they struggle to start tasks, stay on track, or feel successful. But the great news? Time awareness is a skill—and we can teach it through fun, low-pressure Time Estimation Trials.

What Are Time Estimation Trials?

Time estimation trials help you or your child practice predicting how long tasks will take—then compare that prediction to reality. This not only strengthens their sense of time but also builds metacognition (a.k.a. thinking about their thinking).

The result? Better planning, smoother transitions, and less stress around task completion.

Step-by-Step: How to Battle Time Blindness with Estimation Trials

Here’s how to make time awareness click in a way that’s fun and empowering:

1. Pick a Task

Start simple. Choose everyday tasks that your child already does. This should be a relatively neutral task – not one they hate, but not their most loved activity either:

  • Brushing teeth

  • Packing a school bag

  • Doing one page of homework

  • Putting toys away

Keep it bite-sized to avoid overwhelm.

2. Estimate the Time (and Write It Down!)

Ask your child:
“How long do you think this will take?”
Have them write down their guess—even if it seems way off. This helps build self-awareness and gives you both a reference point.

3. Start the Timer and Complete the Task

Use a visual timer, stopwatch, or even a phone timer with a fun sound. Let them press start—kids love the control and it makes the process feel official!

4. Record the Actual Time

When the task is done, stop the timer. Write down how long it actually took. No pressure—just facts.

5. Reflect Together

Ask:

  • “Was it longer or shorter than you thought?”
  • “Wow, how did that 5 minutes feel? 
  • “What made it faster?” (e.g. focus, help, fewer distractions)
  • “What made it slower?” (e.g. getting distracted, needing help)

Help them connect the dots. This builds emotional regulation and frustration tolerance.

Pro Tip: Keep a “Time Estimation Log” to track progress over time. Watch their awareness grow!

Why It Works

Time estimation isn’t just a trick for better task management—it supports the brain to:

  • Recognize the passage of time

  • Anticipate effort and energy needed

  • Feel more in control (hello, task initiation and frustration tolerance!)

  • Build confidence and reduce meltdowns (Yay resilience!)

When kids start predicting their time more accurately, it boosts their independence—and self-esteem.

Real-Life Example:

Task: Unloading the dishwasher
Estimated Time: 5 minutes
Actual Time: 9 minutes
Reflection: “I forgot to count putting the silverware away. Next time I’ll include that!”

See? No scolding. Just learning and growing.

Final Thoughts: Time Tracking Is a Skill—Let’s Teach It That Way

Time isn’t invisible to all kids—it just feels that way for many with executive functioning challenges. But with a little structure, curiosity, and encouragement, we can help them build their inner clock.

So, next time your child gets lost in the “time warp,” try a Time Estimation Trial. It’s simple. It’s supportive. And it works.

⏳✨ Time awareness doesn’t naturally develop for everyone — it’s built through experience and reflection!

Summer Skills Series 1: Build Better Routines, Build Better Minds

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

We were thrilled by the amazing response to our recent workshop, “Living Your Best ADHD Summer: 5 Easy Breezy Skills.” Many of you reached out, eager for more—and we listened! We’re excited to announce the launch of our brand-new summer blog series, where every other week we’ll spotlight a fresh, practical skill designed to help you boost your or your child’s executive functioning all season long. Whether you joined the workshop or are just tuning in now, get ready for simple strategies, helpful tips, and a summer full of growth. Stay tuned—your best ADHD summer is just getting started!

Let’s Talk Routines: The Secret Sauce to Stronger Minds

If you’ve ever struggled to get your child to brush their teeth without a 20-minute negotiation, you’re not alone. But here’s some good news: building purposeful routines isn’t just about smoother mornings—it’s about helping your child develop essential executive functioning skills like planning, attention, and memory. Yep, routines can actually support brain development!

Executive functioning skills are the brain’s management system. When your child builds a routine, they’re working on things like:

  • Planning and organization
  • Working memory
  • Sustained attention
  • Task completion
  • Consistency and follow-through

And the best part? You can make this process fun, visual, and even LEGO-based!

Step-by-Step: How to Build a Brain-Boosting Routine

Step 1: Collaborate, Don’t Dictate

Kids thrive when they have a say in their day. So before laying down the law, team up. Ask questions like:
“What’s something that feels tricky in the morning?”
“Want to help make a plan that works better for both of us?”

This collaborative approach builds buy-in, reduces resistance, and sets the stage for success.

Step 2: One Routine at a Time

Instead of overhauling your entire day, focus on ONE routine.
Start small:

  • Getting dressed in the morning
  • Cleaning up toys
  • Packing a sports bag the night before

Choose just one. Master it. Then move to the next.

The pattern of routine building will transfer to new tasks, but it’s best to build the skill on just ONE routine.

Step 3: Break It Down—And Make It Visual

Executive functioning is easier to develop with clarity. Many tasks ADHDers struggle with might seem simple, but when we really break them down into concrete steps, we realize there’s a lot to remember and so many ways to get off track! 

Break each routine into small, doable steps. Make them concrete.
For example, the “Get Dressed” routine could look like:

  1. Pick out clothes
  2. Put on underwear and socks
  3. Shirt on
  4. Pants on
  5. Comb hair

Pair each step with a picture, drawing, or even photos of your child doing each task. Visual supports make abstract tasks feel real and achievable.

Step 4: Model It Together (and Celebrate the Effort!)

Do the routine with your child at first. Narrate what you’re doing and highlight their engagement:

  • “Wow, you really stayed focused!”
  • “I love how you remembered the socks today!”

Praise effort, not outcome. A missed step isn’t a failure—it’s an opportunity to notice attention, persistence, and growth.

Step 5: Cue and Celebrate Independence

As your child gains confidence and consistency in completing the routine,, start cueing the steps instead of doing them together:

  • “What’s the first thing you do after picking clothes?”
  • “What’s next on your routine chart?”

When they complete a step independently, celebrate!
A high five, a hug,  or a shout-out at dinner can go a long way.

Step 6: Support Smarter with Scaffolding

Some kids need a little more support—and that’s perfectly okay. Tailor the tools to their strengths:

  • Visual learners? Use colorful picture schedules or drawings they help create.
  • Auditory learners? Set reminders on Alexa or record fun sound cues.
  • Hands-on learners? Use toys to represent each step—like LEGO stations that guide the way through a bedtime routine.

The key is to make the structure supportive, not stressful.

Final Thoughts: Routines Are Brain Workouts in Disguise

By building purposeful routines, you’re doing more than creating structure—you’re helping your child grow their mental muscles. Executive functioning doesn’t come naturally to every brain, but with support, modeling, and encouragement, it can be developed over time.

So whether you’re tackling the morning madness or bedtime battles, remember: it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress, praise, and connection.

Transitions on the Spectrum

 

Written by Jessica Hauser-Harrington, PhD, LP

Spring is a time of transitions and new beginnings. For high school seniors, it brings the end of their secondary education, and often, the transition to college or jobs. For seniors on the Autism Spectrum, it can be a time of both excitement and celebration, as well as one of potential anxiety and uncertainty. Fortunately, with planning and preparation, worries can be reduced and celebrations enjoyed more thoroughly.

Marking the Transition

These transitions are typically marked with milestone celebrations such as graduation ceremonies and parties. For an individual with ASD, large crowds, loud noises, and the need to sit still in one place for extended periods of time can be challenging. Pre-planning strategies to manage sensory overload, anxiety, and fatigue during these milestone celebrations is key. Can they wear ear buds or noise dampening/canceling headphones? If there will be long stretches of time between meals, is there a way to pack a snack? Is there a comfort object or fidget that might help the sitting and waiting feel less stressful? Is it possible to sit near an aisle where getting up and taking a break would be more feasible? Will your son or daughter want to take pictures before the ceremony, after, or on a different day?

When it comes to graduation parties, don’t assume that your child will or won’t want a party. Discuss expectations for the number of guests, the foods served, and how social you want your child to be at the part. This is their first time around celebrating this milestone, and discussing expectations will leave more room for joy.  It may also be useful to pre-plan breaks or “calm down” areas if the party extends over what is a typical interval of interaction time for your child. Would a different type of celebration altogether be more enjoyable–be willing to think outside the box. Finally, make sure to discuss expectations with siblings and extended family members who may also be joining in celebrating your senior.

Transitioning to College

If your son or daughter is transitioning to college, planning ahead is also important. Some teenagers think they will automatically acquire a certain level of responsibility, initiative or skill just by becoming a “college student.” Unfortunately, that’s not usually the case. Whether it’s six months ahead or six weeks ahead or maybe just 6 days ahead, have discussions about what life skills are needed to be successful at college above and beyond the academic demands and start practicing. If they don’t know how to already, teaching your child how to do laundry, how to cook some basic meals, how to manage basic finances (including setting up a bank account that a parent has access to as well), and how to navigate bus systems or public transportation (if applicable) will be important. Use a scaffolding technique, where you demonstrate basic skills, allow your child to replicate them with supervision, and then add on more complex or advanced skills as they progress. You may also consider creating social stories, checklists or algorithms around these new responsibilities that your child can take with them to college.

Many colleges and universities also have ASD-specific programs to help support your son or daughter both academically and socially. Making sure to look into these options and apply to them (if required) ahead of time. Similarly, if your child has an IEP or 504 plan, these can transition into college-level accommodations. Ensuring that your child’s testing is up to date is also a key part of this process as most colleges and universities will want recent testing data. Contacting the school’s office of student support services to learn what their requirements are and what the process is to get the accommodations set up is important and something that you may need to do with your child. If your son or daughter is 18 or older, make sure that they sign the necessary releases of information that will allow you to also communicate with university staff as needed.

If your child sees a therapist at home, consider options for telehealth (if in the same state or allowed by the therapist’s licensing/credentials) or seek out referrals in your child’s new city. Most, if not all, colleges and universities have counseling centers on campus that offer both individual therapy as well as group therapy options. The session number per student might be limited though, so identifying clinicians in the local community is also a great idea. Also, if your child takes regular medications, make plans to have a large enough supply, transfer the prescriptions to a pharmacy on or near campus, or look into mail-order delivery. If your son or daughter will be picking up their medications on their own for the first time, practice going to the pharmacy with them. 

Transitioning to a Job

If your son or daughter is transitioning to a job, utilize resources from your local school district. She or he may have options to take interest inventories that may help point him or her in the direction of a job or work environment they may be interested in. Public schools also have specific transition planning for students with IEPs. Job training resources through the school district or MichiganWorks can be an option to help build skills and identify potential jobs. Helping your son or daughter to be realistic about the number of hours he or she feels they can work, whether he or she wants a public-facing or behind the scenes job, and what level of supervision he or she will require is important. Discussions around managing finances, contributing at home financially and/or through chores will help clarify expectations for your adult child and the changing relationship you may have with them as they age. 

Additional Resources and Relevant Websites for Adolescents and Adults with ASD/CI/DD

Community Mental Health Oakland County https://www.oaklandchn.org/ 

Autism Alliance of Michigan (call to get resource information sometimes better than navigating their online system) https://autismallianceofmichigan.org/ 

Living and Learning Enrichment Center (www.livingandlearningcenter.org) 248-308-3592

OUCARES at Oakland University (http://www.oakland.edu/oucares/): for Adult social groups and employment skills 248-370-2424

On My Own: Independent living resources for adults (https://onmyownofmi.org/)

MORC: Services for individuals with physical and intellectual disabilities in Oakland County (https://www.morcinc.org/)

Community Living Services: https://www.comlivserv.com/ 

The ARC of Oakland County: Non-profit that focuses on advocacy and community participation for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (https://thearcoakland.org/

Michigan Rehabilitation Services: https://www.michigan.gov/leo/bureaus-agencies/mrs

Possible places to find additional support:

Friendship Circle: https://www.friendshipcircle.org/

SAIL (group of parents in the area looking for living solutions for their adult children with special needs): https://sailhousingsolutions.org/

Going Beyond Resolutions: Cultivating Change Through Gratitude

Written by: Jessi Beatty, PhD, LP

It’s that time of year when people are setting intentions and goals for the new year.  One important way to transition from the past year into the next is to consciously build or create more positive thoughts and actions. We often think of these as resolutions, but if we look deeper into what supports positive change, we can move beyond resolutions and into lasting positive change.

Rooted in Gratitude

Positive thoughts and actions are often rooted in our experience of gratitude. Research has shown the important benefits of gratitude to our overall mental health, motivation, and physical health.  While our minds naturally notice and focus on the negative to keep us safe and aware of our surroundings, this tendency can burden us with anxiety, depression and stop us from starting positive behaviors. However, with practice you can notice more of the good in your life. It doesn’t have to be a big undertaking to teach your mind to experience gratitude regularly. It’s more about short periods of consistency over time. When we notice what brings us a sense of gratitude, we tend to DO more that brings us that unique and wonderful feeling.

Set up short moments of gratitude practice each day

The first step is, of course, upping the frequency that we consciously attend to gratitude. Regularly building the habit of recognizing and appreciating the good things in your life, no matter how big or small, helps build happiness, self-esteem, and keeps you in the present moment. You don’t have to spend a long time focusing on gratitude to get its benefits. You could add it into your morning or bedtime routine or take a break during the workday to reflect. Possible ways include spending a few minutes listing three good things that happened today. It could be little things like someone holding the door for you, noticing how beautiful the sunrise is, getting a text from a friend or bigger things like finishing a project you’ve been working on for a long time.  You can make a conscious effort to notice when others are doing good things and tell them thank you. Each thank you builds something positive for you both. You can go on a walk and use your senses to notice the sights, smells, and feel of the sun or wind. Regular gratitude practice helps us connect with others, our surroundings and ourselves. 

Change how you ask your family about their day

Another way to help yourself and your loved ones focus more on gratitude involves how you ask about their day.  Rather than simply asking how their day was, try asking: What surprised you about your day? Who made you feel cared about today? Who did you help today? What made you laugh today? When did you feel calm, content or relaxed? 

Questions like this may lead to better conversations rather than getting the typical “fine” or “it was good” response. Questions like these can encourage us to share and reflect on the good, training us to scan for the positive in our days. It can help balance any negative things that happen, which are also important to talk about. It can be so easy to get into the pattern of venting or focusing on the bad with our loved ones. These questions challenge us to reframe the way we reflect on our day.

Change the questions you ask yourself

While building conversations around the good things that happen day to day with our loved ones, it’s also important to be aware of what we are training our own brains to focus on. Our words matter. Not just with others, but also with ourselves! Our internal dialog can easily get stuck in negative spirals or repeatedly place a distorted emphasis on what went wrong. When we focus solely on what might or did go wrong, we aren’t focused on what we did do, or could do right. To break a negative thinking cycle, try asking yourself: What did I learn in the situation? What would I do differently if I had it to do all over again? Focusing on gratitude often helps us set an effective pathway forward for what we actually want, rather than just highlighting what didn’t work or what we’d like to avoid. If anxiety about what’s to come creeps in and you start thinking of all that can go wrong, ask yourself: What if it goes right? What is the more likely scenario? Will this matter in a week? In a month? In a year? You can use visualization to set a positive mindset for upcoming tasks and set yourself up for things to go well, rather than getting trapped in what could go wrong and worst case scenarios. 

Conclusion

Making the intention to cultivate gratitude as a daily practice, in your life and your loved one’s lives, helps kick start the new year in a positive direction.  Things will not always go the way you would like and situations are often out of our control, but building the practice of noticing what is going right helps motivate positive and effective changes, and give important boosts to your mood. Regular practice helps to reset our mindset, pulling us out of the negative spirals, and keeps us moving in a positive direction. Gratitude helps us feel connected and motivated!  

Wishing you and your loved ones a happy and healthy 2025!


Contact us if you have a goal for 2025 that you would like help working towards!