Category: <span>Self-care</span>

Mental Wellness Self-care Sleep Uncategorized circadian rhythm • doom scrolling • sleep • stress March 10, 2026 By Beth Church 0 Comments

Dreaming of a good night’s sleep: Why is getting sleep so difficult, and how can we improve it?

Some nights, it might feel like getting good sleep is impossible. There’s just so much to do and so much to worry about! You feel so tired but can’t fall asleep, you lay there with your eyes open, or perhaps even worse, you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep. Let’s examine 3 reasons you might be getting such poor sleep, how this impacts our bodies and minds, and 5 easy things we can do to improve our sleep tonight.

3 Reasons You Are Probably Getting Poor Sleep

1. Disruption of Circadian Rhythm

Our circadian rhythm is the body’s 24-hour internal clock that regulates our sleep-wake cycle, our hormone release, appetite and body temperature. Brains are very reliant on the changing light wavelengths throughout the day and night to maintain this cycle. Our brains are literally programmed to ‘read’ the horizon light – morning light wakes our brains up, and evening/dusk light shuts us down. One factor of modern life that disrupts our circadian rhythm is lighting. With technology being as advanced as it is, that means we have access to lights brighter and more effective than ever in human history. Modern lighting, including screens, that shine at all hours of the day, affects chemical communication to the brain disrupting our internal clock. Another influence on our circadian rhythm is scheduling. Whether due to swing shifts, personal time management, or our intensely busy schedules, when we constantly change our schedules and routines, our brain doesn’t know when to wake and sleep. This lack of consistency makes it hard for the body to develop a rhythm, impacting our ability to fall and stay asleep.

2. The Click-Swipe Insomnia

Not only does technology negatively affect our circadian rhythm due to the light (especially when we are going on our phone before bed), but brain wave activation associated with tech use interferes with sleep cycles. “Doomscrolling” can be a pattern we easily fall into, both during the day and right before bed, where we scroll through endless bad news. Not only are we exposing ourselves to the blue light of the phone before bed, but we are exposing ourselves to upsetting news, increasing anxiety or depression (especially in the case of social media use), causing an increase of stress just as our body is supposed to be calming for the night, resulting in delayed and disrupted sleep.

3. Wake Up and Go Signals

Our brains and bodies interpret stress hormones as ‘wake up and go’ signals. If your anxiety is on the rise, so is sleep disruption. People may ruminate about worries while trying to fall asleep, they may have increased nightmares, or they may find themselves restless and struggling to stay still. Stress can impact both falling asleep and staying asleep. Even anxiety about sleep can negatively impact sleep. For example, if someone is anticipating not being able to sleep, they get worried before bed, and then their body produces ‘wake up’ chemicals. Additionally, it may be more difficult to stay asleep, as the increased tension and rumination make it difficult to achieve deep sleep, making us wake more frequently. Anxiety increases sleeplessness, which then in turn increases anxiety – creating a vicious cycle to try to combat and manage.

How Does Lack of Sleep Impact Our Bodies and Brains?

Sleep loss has many adverse effects both mentally and physically, which are only exacerbated by chronic lack of sleep.

Lack of sleep can impact our ability to regulate our emotions, prompting higher levels of irritability and predicting anger.
People who are not getting enough sleep have a higher risk of intrusive thoughts and memories, negatively impacting their mood and behaviors.
There is a high impact on our ability to concentrate on daily tasks, which can be very dangerous in the case of driving (driver fatigue can be very dangerous).
Chronic sleep loss has a high impact on long term health, with a higher risk of chronic disease such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes to name a few.
Even brief difficulties with sleep negative impact your immune system, making it hard to fight off illnesses
Studies have demonstrated a correlation between sleep loss and depression, identifying lack of sleep as a predictor for depressive symptoms.
Sleep loss greatly impacts cognitive functioning such as working memory, processing speed, problem solving, and organization
Chronic sleep loss is also associated with negative effects on metabolism and weight gain

5 Ways to Prioritize and Improve Your Sleep Tonight

Sleep is crucial to both our mental and physical health, so what are some concrete ways we can improve our sleep?

1. Give Your Brain Consistent Cues with a Consistent Routine

We can leverage what we know about brain functioning to get better sleep. If we go to bed at the same time each night, and wake up at the same time each morning, regardless of the day of the week, our sleep improves vastly. We can also build in consistency to our bedtime routines – such as brushing your teeth, washing your face, or reading a chapter of a light book – doing the same tasks/activities, at the same time and in the same order most days of the week. Consistency in time and routine will help your brain and body learn the cues for bedtime; making you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer.

2. Curate Your Bedroom Environment

Your bed and space for sleeping should be a peaceful environment built for relaxation and sleep. I know it’s hard – but consider removing technology from your bedroom. Get an old school alarm clock, your brain will thank you. Take steps to make sure your bed is comfortable and you have the space around you set up to be relaxing to your standards. Keep a lower temperature in the room at night, keep blinds shut and lights to a minimum, and limit your bed only for sleeping. That way, your body will know that when the room is set, it is time to rest.

3. Limit Naps, and Time of Naps

When we are exhausted, napping can feel like a good solution. However, napping can sometimes have negative effects on our ability to sleep later in the day. Try to not nap later than 3:00pm in the afternoon, and if you are taking naps, ensure they are no longer than 20 minutes.

4. Eat & Move for Sleep

What we put in our bodies and our daily activities and movement impact our sleep a great deal. To improve sleep limit your drug and alcohol intake, which includes caffeine. If you are consuming caffeine during the day, try not to have any after 3:00 pm. Additionally, many people think marijuana helps them sleep – although it can make you feel drowsy and fall asleep, it actually impacts quality of sleep negatively and can cause sleep disorder. In addition, getting exercise and eating a healthy diet can also aid in sleep. Regular exercise really improves sleep – but try not to exercise in the 2-3 hours before bed.

5. If You’re Up, Get Up

Often, if we are struggling to sleep, whether going to bed or waking up in the middle of the night, we tend to toss and turn and lay in bed. But laying in bed awake is actually not great for our sleep. If you cannot fall asleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed and engage in a calming, low light activity until you feel sleepy, such as listening to calming music or reading a book. Once you feel sleepy, return to bed.

What if I do all these things and I still am not sleeping well?

With our busy schedules and immersion in technology, good sleep can sometimes feel like an unreachable dream. However there are tricks we can use to help our brains and bodies get the rest they need. But as a reminder, these tips can only go so far. Clinically disordered sleep such as sleep apnea, narcolepsy, or insomnia will require direct treatment in addition to these simple fixes. If you are concerned that you or a loved one has a sleep disorder, contact a doctor or sleep specialist today. There are further proven effective services such as iCBT (a type of therapy) and medication that can help. Therapy treatment plans differ among sleep disorders, so getting a proper diagnosis is very helpful in getting the correct help. Prioritize your rest today, to ensure you are awakening with your best foot forward tomorrow.

Holidays Mental Wellness Relationships Self-care Uncategorized emotional burnout during the holidays • emotional wellbeing during the holidays • family boundaries during the holidays • family roles and dynamics • family triggers during the holidays • holiday family dynamics • holiday family stress • holiday mental health • holiday stress and anxiety • holiday stress coping strategies • setting boundaries with family • toxic family dynamics December 19, 2025 By Beth Church 0 Comments

Home for the Holidays: 5 Ways to Navigate Holiday Family Dynamics and Fuel Your Inner Peace

As much as we love the holiday season, it’s also a time of heightened stress—one that can amplify long-standing family patterns and dynamics. The holidays are different from most other times of year because we often placate and compromise more during interactions just to get through the event. We may tolerate behaviors or slip into family roles we wouldn’t otherwise accept.

While compromise has its place, creating positive family memories shouldn’t come at the expense of our emotional wellbeing. Here are five ways to protect yourself from emotional burnout while celebrating with family this holiday season.

What Role Are You Cast In?

When we step back into family and friend circles during the holidays, familiar patterns of interaction and communication often resurface. These dynamics can pull us back into roles we may have long forgotten—or already outgrown. Roles like The Peacemaker, The Jokester, Mom’s Favorite, or The Black Sheep are shaped over time and influence how we feel about ourselves and others.

Each family role also comes with its own emotional weight, sometimes stirring up intense feelings like anger, anxiety, or abandonment. One helpful thing to remember is that every role serves a purpose within the family system. When you can reflect on the role (or roles) you tend to occupy and increase awareness of the function it plays, you’re less likely to be unintentionally pulled back into it—and into its emotional aftermath.

Don’t Fight the Feeling

Resurfacing family roles and patterns can trigger some of our most intense emotional experiences. During the holidays, we often try to compartmentalize or push emotions aside just to get through gatherings. But emotions have a way of sneaking out anyway—often through less adaptive behaviors like sarcasm, overindulgence, social withdrawal, or internalized sadness, anxiety, or anger. Over time, these outlets contribute to emotional burnout.

Instead of suppressing emotions, try noticing them. Pay attention to how a particular person or interaction makes you feel, and give that feeling a bit of breathing room. What might it be telling you—to back off, reduce contact, speak up for yourself, or seek support elsewhere? Even if you don’t act on the emotion, acknowledging it helps release internal pressure and lowers your emotional temperature.

Write New Endings to Old Stories

Do interactions with certain family members always seem to end the same way? If your answer is a resounding yes, here’s the good news: you have more control than it might feel like.

Identify the familiar “story arc”—the beginning, middle, and typical ending of the interaction. Then imagine a few alternative endings that would feel more supportive or aligned with your needs. For example, instead of an ending marked by escalation or shutdown, you might choose one where you express yourself directly and respectfully, or one where you take space before emotions run too high.

When you notice yourself entering a familiar rerun, you can consciously turn the page and choose a different ending.

Boundaries Are the Perfect Gift to Give

One of the most effective ways to step out of well-worn family roles and change interaction patterns is through clear boundaries. Practice stating boundaries using simple, direct language:

“I’ll be leaving at 9:00 pm.”
“Please don’t speak to me that way.”
“That’s not something I want to talk about.”

Notice that each of these is an “I” statement. Focusing on what you will or won’t do—rather than trying to manage someone else’s behavior—makes boundaries far more effective and less dependent on others’ reactions. Truly, boundaries are the gift that keeps on giving.

Beware of the Shame and Guilt Trap

Some family members may respond to boundaries by attempting to induce guilt or shame. Don’t fall for it. You are allowed to have physical and emotional needs.

Expressing what you want or need gives others the opportunity to respect you and, in some cases, strengthen the relationship. If someone isn’t able—or willing—to make space for your needs, remind yourself that your wellbeing still matters. Taking emotional or physical space can be an act of self-respect, not selfishness.

Conclusion

As the holidays unfold, remember that you don’t have to show up perfectly—you just have to show up honestly. Family dynamics are deeply wired, and noticing them without judgment is already meaningful work. Each moment of awareness, each boundary you honor, and each pause you take to care for yourself is a step toward creating holidays that feel more peaceful and more authentic.

Happy Holidays from all of us at Monarch Behavioral Health

Make an appointment today! https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/

Mental Wellness Self-care Stress Uncategorized Anxiety • burnout prevention • burnout recovery • burnout symptoms • depression • emotional intelligence and burnout • overcoming burnout • self-compassion and burnout • signs of burnout • stress vs burnout • what is burnout • Work stress November 3, 2025 By Beth Church 0 Comments

Fuel Your Fire: Prevent and Recover from Burnout Using Emotional Intelligence and Self-Compassion

Burnout isn’t just “being tired.” It’s a full-body, full-mind experience that can drain your energy, dull your motivation, and make even the work you once loved feel overwhelming. In fact, between 30–75% of people worldwide report experiencing burnout at some point. If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Am I just exhausted, or am I burning out?” — you’re not alone.

What Exactly Is Burnout?

Burnout is more than stress. It’s a recognized syndrome caused by chronic stress associated with a particular role (e.g., job, caregiving) that isn’t successfully managed. It typically shows up in three dimensions:

Exhaustion – feeling drained, depleted, and unable to recharge.
Depersonalization – becoming detached, cynical, or negative about your work.
Reduced Accomplishment – feeling ineffective, unmotivated, or like you’re failing.

Left unchecked, burnout impacts not only your work, but your physical health, relationships, and overall wellbeing.

Spotting the Warning Signs

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It sneaks up on us through gradual signs:

Physical: disrupted sleep, low energy, changes in appetite, unexplained aches/pains.
Behavioral: procrastination, reduced productivity and efficiency, withdrawal from responsibilities.
Emotional/Mental: irritability, cynicism, brain fog, emotional exhaustion.

Noticing these signals early is key to preventing burnout from taking over.

Why Do We Burn Out?

The causes often come from two sides:

Work Factors: overwhelming workload, lack of values match with job or role, lack of control, unfair treatment, low rewards, and/or disconnection from community, distressing work tasks
Self Factors: tying self-worth to productivity and work identity, valuing self-sacrifice as a personal ideal, self-blame and low self-empathy, and/or struggling to balance other roles and responsibilities in life.

Interestingly, those who care the most — helpers, teachers, healthcare providers, parents, and leaders — are at highest risk for burnout.

Fighting Back: Emotional Intelligence as Your GPS

Emotions are not the enemy. In fact, they act like an internal GPS guiding us toward what we need. By practicing emotional intelligence (EI), you can learn to:

Recognize and label your emotions accurately. We only have 6-8 basic emotions! Sure, we have thousands of descriptions for subtle differences in each emotion, but if we can label the core emotion accurately, this is very powerful.
Understand how emotions link to motivation and action. Each of our basic emotion states links to specific motivational states and behaviors. For example, happiness links to a desire to keep doing the thing that is making us happy. Sadness links to rest, recouping the loss and connecting to others. As you learn emotion-motivation-action linking, emotions are far less overwhelming.
Use emotions as guideposts for action and direction. Putting all the information together, we can make an action plan that points us in the direction of getting our actual needs and wants met in a healthy way – whether that means resting, seeking support, or setting boundaries.

When you tune into your emotions, they stop being roadblocks and start being signals that point you back toward balance.

The Secret Weapon: Mindful Self-Compassion

One of the most powerful antidotes to burnout is treating yourself with the same compassion you give to others. This means:

Permission: Allow yourself to feel and acknowledge your limits. Allow yourself to be as kind to YOU as you are to others.
Mindfulness: Practice being fully present without judgment or distraction. Daily sensory mindfulness practices are a great way to cultivate this ability. .
Common Humanity: Remember, burnout is a shared human experience, not a personal failing. We are all flawed and we all make mistakes.
Self-Compassion: Replace harsh self-criticism with care, understanding, and patience. Notice self-critical thoughts. Imagine your friend was saying these things about themself. How would you respond to that friend – now turn that empathy and compassion inward.

Simple daily practices — like repeating a mantra (“My work is important, and so am I”), mindful breathing, or noticing and reframing negative self-talk — can help you rebuild resilience.

Creating Your Burnout Recovery Plan

Recovering from burnout isn’t about powering through — it’s about addressing work and self factors, so you can realign your approach to work with your values and daily capacity. A strong recovery plan includes:

Addressing workplace factors with a practical, solution-focused approach.
Building emotional intelligence to listen to your internal GPS.
Practicing mindful self-compassion daily to stay grounded and resilient.

Burnout isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a signal — and when you listen with compassion and curiosity, you can use it as a turning point toward healthier, more sustainable ways of working and living.

Mental Wellness Self-care July 24, 2024 By Beth Church 0 Comments

Mindful Self-Compassion: Quieting Our Inner Critic

Written by: Jessica Hauser-Harrington, PhD, LP

We are often our own worst critics. Whether I am working with high-achieving, “type-A” executives and physicians, overwhelmed parents, or a self-conscious middle schooler, I see so many people criticize and berate themselves for not meeting a goal, for saying something they wished they hadn’t, or worrying about a future performance. Theodore Roosevelt once said that “comparison is the thief of joy.” Not only do we compare ourselves to others, but often the bigger loss of joy comes when we compare ourselves to an internal standard that may feel impossible to reach, leading to self-criticism and eventually anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Mindful Self-Compassion is a mindfulness practice that is centered around giving compassion and care to yourself. At its heart, mindful self-compassion is non-judgmental and loving. It is not falsely inflating your ego, nor an excuse to dismiss problematic behaviors or choices, but rather It is about giving yourself grace and generosity, particularly during difficult times. It is about recognizing and honoring your inherent value and worthiness of care as a human being. Mindful Self-Compassion can be a powerful self-soothing coping strategy during times of stress, as well as a way to build one’s resilience to better manage future stressors. Founded by Drs. Kristen Neff and Christopher Germer, mindful self-compassion has established a strong body of research support over the past twenty years, helping with resilience building, depression, anxiety PTSD, body image, conflict resolution and more (see Dr. Neff’s website for relevant studies: https://self-compassion.org/the-research/ ). More recently, other clinicians are developing new applications for Mindful Self-Compassion including programs for OCD and infertility.

Mindful Self-Compassion can be incorporated into individual therapy (as I do with patients in my practice) or it can be a part of your personal meditation or mindfulness practice. I often begin by having individuals complete a Self-Compassion test (https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/) to get a sense of where what their current levels of self-criticism and judgment vs self-compassion fall. The experience can be a powerful tool to reflect on the messages we give ourselves and the impact it has on overall well-being, self-esteem, and mood. The next steps include learning about Mindfulness Self-Compassion and exploring the origins behind the person’s inner critic as well as identifying sources of love and compassion. We then proceed to practicing guided meditations. The mindfulness aspect allows for a “pause” between a triggering event and our initial gut reaction to criticize and self-flagellate. Over time, the goal is to lower the volume on our inner critic and change the messages to ones that are more kind and compassionate.

Resources and Further Reading

https://self-compassion.org/ Dr. Neff’s website, filled with further information about MSC, links to videos and podcast, research, guided practices, training and events
https://centerformsc.org/ The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, offers training resources to develop your practice

Books By Kristen Neff, PhD:

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive (co-authored with Chris Germer)
Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout: Tools to Help You Heal and Recharge When You’re Wrung Out by Stress (co-authored with Chris Germer)

Books By Other Authors:

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions by Christopher K. Germer and Sharon Salzberg
Self-Compassion for Educators: Mindful Practices to Awaken Your Well-Being and Grow Resilience by Lisa Baylis
The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness and Compassion Skills to Overcome Self-Criticism and Embrace Who You Are by Karen Bluth PhD
The Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids: Fun Mindfulness Activities to Build Emotional Strength and Make Kindness Your Superpower by Lorraine M. Hobbs MA, and Amy C. Balentine PhD
The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD: Lean into Your Fear, Manage Difficult Emotions, and Focus On Recovery by Kimberley Quinlan LMFT and Jon Hershfield MFT

Mental Wellness Parenting Self-care April 17, 2024 By Beth Church 0 Comments

Parenting Burnout: Redefining Self-Care

Written by: Jessica Hauser-Harrington, PhD, LP

Parenting is hard, and it’s ok to say so!

We often think of burnout as an occupational hazard, but it applies to parenting, too. The seemingly endless demands and expectations put on parents, both large (rising costs of child related-care) and small (another spirit week?!?), can leave parents feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and at the end of their rope. Additionally, parenting children with emotional or behavioral difficulties brings added challenges and stressors that may lead you to feel isolated or different from other families who may not experience these things. We know parenting burnout is real, but we also know there are real ways to battle and overcome it!

The hard fact is, we live in a society where people only show the happy, highlight reels of family life on social media, which can lead to feelings of frustration, jealousy, and even hopelessness. We are our own worst critics, especially when it comes to parenting. An important part of battling parenting burnout is being mindful of the messages we are letting sink in from social media and wider culture. What is actually important to you in your parenting? Find small ways to live these values and make sure expectations fueled by the unrealistic, curated version of parenting on social media do not take root in your mind. You’ve got this, and you are doing amazing!

If you yourself experience depression, anxiety, ADHD, or other mental health conditions, daily parenting tasks may feel even more overwhelming and tiring. Trauma or baggage from your own childhood certainly impacts parenting. In addition, so many parents feel that they lose part of themselves and their identity when they become parents. Addressing these issues can really reduce parenting burnout. At Monarch, we treat children and their families as a unit. Parenting support is often a key component of your child’s treatment, whether that is done as part of your child’s appointment or in separate parenting sessions. Our clinicians also work with parents in individual therapy to address issues related to their own health and wellbeing. Whether it is learning cognitive behavioral therapy strategies to challenge automatic thoughts, dialectical behavioral therapy to build distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness techniques, or mindful self-compassion skills, our therapists will work with you to customize your treatment plan to help you become the parent you want to be.

You’ve probably heard the phrase “self-care isn’t selfish” before. It’s not only true, it’s necessary for parents! You cannot pour water from an empty well. Taking time for yourself, whether in the form of exercise, meditation, hobbies, socializing, therapy or simply taking time to be alone, helps to refill that well and recharge your batteries. You are a better parent when you are well-rested, well-fed, and have things to look forward to aside from your children.

Here are some self-care suggestions that can help combat parenting burnout:

Find and use your village, whether that’s grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, or trading off childcare with other families you know and trust. Ask for help and offer it in return.
Set aside protected, non-childcare, non-housework time for each parent during the week, whether that’s 45 mins or 2 hours. Make sure the time is equitable for both partners (a 1-hour spin class ≠ 4 hours of golfing)
Being a stay-at-home parent is a job too, make sure you get “time off”
Pursue your own hobbies, learn something new
Embrace the two-fer: go for a walk or take a class with a friend
Put those dates on the calendar! Dinner and a movie is great, but think beyond a weekend night: it can be a coffee break, a walk around the block with the dog, or meeting up on your lunch breaks. The same goes for getting together with friends—if it’s not on the calendar, it’s not going to happen!
Learn to say “no” to the things that don’t serve you and your family. Your children don’t have to play every sport or every instrument or participate in every extra-curricular under the sun. You don’t have to volunteer for every school event. It’s ok to have a quiet stay-cation or holiday at home. Say no more often..
Try not to compare yourself to other families, especially to parenting “influencers”, no one’s house is that clean all the time! If you’re on social media, seek out more realistic, relatable accounts.
If your child has a diagnosis or health condition that adds extra challenges to parenting, seek out diagnosis- or disorder-specific support groups for families and parents for resources and social support.