Category: <span>Mental Wellness</span>

Mental Wellness Self-care Sleep Uncategorized • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Dreaming of a good night’s sleep: Why is getting sleep so difficult, and how can we improve it?

Written by: Sarah Engels, MS, TLLP

Some nights, it might feel like getting good sleep is impossible. There’s just so much to do and so much to worry about! You feel so tired but can’t fall asleep, you lay there with your eyes open, or perhaps even worse,  you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep. Let’s examine 3 reasons you might be getting such poor sleep, how this impacts our bodies and minds, and 5 easy things we can do to improve our sleep tonight.

3 Reasons You Are Probably Getting Poor Sleep

1. Disruption of Circadian Rhythm

Our circadian rhythm is the body’s 24-hour internal clock that regulates our sleep-wake cycle, our hormone release, appetite and body temperature. Brains are very reliant on the changing light wavelengths throughout the day and night to maintain this cycle. Our brains are literally programmed to ‘read’ the horizon light – morning light wakes our brains up, and evening/dusk light shuts us down.  One factor of modern life that disrupts our circadian rhythm is lighting. With technology being as advanced as it is, that means we have access to lights brighter and more effective than ever in human history. Modern lighting, including screens, that shine at all hours of the day, affects chemical communication to the brain disrupting our internal clock. Another influence on our circadian rhythm is scheduling. Whether due to swing shifts, personal time management, or our intensely busy schedules, when we constantly change our schedules and routines, our brain doesn’t know when to wake and sleep. This lack of consistency makes it hard for the body to develop a rhythm, impacting our ability to fall and stay asleep.

2. The Click-Swipe Insomnia

Not only does technology negatively affect our circadian rhythm due to the light (especially when we are going on our phone before bed), but brain wave activation associated with tech use interferes with sleep cycles. “Doomscrolling” can be a pattern we easily fall into, both during the day and right before bed, where we scroll through endless bad news. Not only are we exposing ourselves to the blue light of the phone before bed, but we are exposing ourselves to upsetting news, increasing anxiety or depression (especially in the case of social media use), causing an increase of stress just as our body is supposed to be calming for the night, resulting in delayed and disrupted sleep. 

3. Wake Up and Go Signals

Our brains and bodies interpret stress hormones as ‘wake up and go’ signals. If your anxiety is on the rise, so is sleep disruption. People may ruminate about worries while trying to fall asleep, they may have increased nightmares, or they may find themselves restless and struggling to stay still. Stress can impact both falling asleep and staying asleep. Even anxiety about sleep can negatively impact sleep. For example, if someone is anticipating not being able to sleep, they get worried before bed, and then their body produces ‘wake up’ chemicals. Additionally, it may be more difficult to stay asleep, as the increased tension and rumination make it difficult to achieve deep sleep, making us wake more frequently. Anxiety increases sleeplessness, which then in turn increases anxiety – creating a vicious cycle to try to combat and manage. 

How Does Lack of Sleep Impact Our Bodies and Brains?

Sleep loss has many adverse effects both mentally and physically, which are only exacerbated by chronic lack of sleep. 

  • Lack of sleep can impact our ability to regulate our emotions, prompting higher levels of irritability and predicting anger. 
  • People who are not getting enough sleep have a higher risk of intrusive thoughts and memories, negatively impacting their mood and behaviors.
  • There is a high impact on our ability to concentrate on daily tasks, which can be very dangerous in the case of driving (driver fatigue can be very dangerous).
  • Chronic sleep loss has a high impact on long term health, with a higher risk of chronic disease such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes to name a few.
  • Even brief difficulties with sleep negative impact your immune system, making it hard to fight off illnesses
  • Studies have demonstrated a correlation between sleep loss and depression, identifying lack of sleep as a predictor for depressive symptoms.
  • Sleep loss greatly impacts cognitive functioning such as working memory, processing speed, problem solving, and organization 
  • Chronic sleep loss is also associated with negative effects on metabolism and weight gain

5 Ways to Prioritize and Improve Your Sleep Tonight

Sleep is crucial to both our mental and physical health, so what are some concrete ways we can improve our sleep?

1. Give Your Brain Consistent Cues with a Consistent Routine

We can leverage what we know about brain functioning to get better sleep. If we go to bed at the same time each night, and wake up at the same time each morning, regardless of the day of the week, our sleep improves vastly. We can also build in consistency to our bedtime routines – such as brushing your teeth, washing your face, or reading a chapter of a light book – doing the same tasks/activities, at the same time and in the same order most days of the week. Consistency in time and routine will help your brain and body learn the cues for bedtime; making you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. 

2. Curate Your Bedroom Environment 

Your bed and space for sleeping should be a peaceful environment built for relaxation and sleep. I know it’s hard – but consider removing technology from your bedroom. Get an old school alarm clock, your brain will thank you. Take steps to make sure your bed is comfortable and you have the space around you set up to be relaxing to your standards. Keep a lower temperature in the room at night, keep blinds shut and lights to a minimum, and limit your bed only for sleeping. That way, your body will know that when the room is set, it is time to rest. 

3. Limit Naps, and Time of Naps

When we are exhausted, napping can feel like a good solution. However, napping can sometimes have negative effects on our ability to sleep later in the day. Try to not nap later than 3:00pm in the afternoon, and if you are taking naps, ensure they are no longer than 20 minutes. 

4. Eat & Move for Sleep

What we put in our bodies and our daily activities and movement impact our sleep a great deal. To improve sleep limit your drug and alcohol intake, which includes caffeine. If you are consuming caffeine during the day, try not to have any after 3:00 pm. Additionally, many people think marijuana helps them sleep – although it can make you feel drowsy and fall asleep, it actually impacts quality of sleep negatively and can cause sleep disorder. In addition, getting exercise and eating a healthy diet can also aid in sleep. Regular exercise really improves sleep – but try not to exercise in the 2-3 hours before bed.

5. If You’re Up, Get Up

Often, if we are struggling to sleep, whether going to bed or waking up in the middle of the night, we tend to toss and turn and lay in bed. But laying in bed awake is actually not great for our sleep. If you cannot fall asleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed and engage in a calming, low light activity until you feel sleepy, such as listening to calming music or reading a book. Once you feel sleepy, return to bed.

What if I do all these things and I still am not sleeping well?

With our busy schedules and immersion in technology, good sleep can sometimes feel like an unreachable dream. However there are tricks we can use to help our brains and bodies get the rest they need. But as a reminder, these tips can only go so far. Clinically disordered sleep such as sleep apnea, narcolepsy, or insomnia will require direct treatment in addition to these simple fixes. If you are concerned that you or a loved one has a sleep disorder, contact a doctor or sleep specialist today. There are further proven effective services such as iCBT (a type of therapy) and medication that can help. Therapy treatment plans differ among sleep disorders, so getting a proper diagnosis is very helpful in getting the correct help. Prioritize your rest today, to ensure you are awakening with your best foot forward tomorrow. 

Child Wellness Family Therapy Mental Wellness Relationships By Beth Church 0 Comments

Shared Childhoods and Lasting Bonds: The Importance of Sibling Closeness

Written by: Jessi Beatty, PhD, LP

Children who have supportive relationships with siblings tend to do better in school, build better relationships with peers, and learn to resolve disagreements better. Close sibling relationships can be an important buffer against the negative effects of difficult circumstances, build empathy, and help children learn to accept other people’s differences. Close siblings enjoy each other and have fun together, they celebrate each other’s accomplishments, are protective and loyal toward each other, which helps build confidence and fosters more happiness.  

Not all Conflict is Bad

However, close relationships do not mean that siblings always get along.  Some conflicts and disagreements between siblings are normal and can be helpful in building important relationship skills.  This allows kids to learn problem solving skills and how to work out issues with people you live with, care about, and spend a lot of time together. These skills help prepare them for future relationships and can build closeness when the conflict has a positive resolution and is balanced with other warm and positive interactions. Healthy competition generally results in bonding and feelings of closeness after. This allows kids to practice setting and following other people’s boundaries. As long as competitions don’t lead to degrading, demeaning or aggressive behaviors, it teaches important skills that will help children foster stronger relationships with others. 

How to Improve their Connection

The weather lately has meant a lot of snow days off of school. That means a lot more time together than normal. Here are some suggestions on ways to foster more positive interactions amongst your children

1. Make sure they are spending time in the same room together

They don’t have to be doing the same thing together but helping them to have positive experiences in the presence of each other helps build the expectation that they will have an enjoyable time with each other. Plus, they can observe and learn from each other when they are engaged in different activities

2. Plan activities that foster play, silliness and cooperation

  • Make family game night cooperative games like Pictionary, or have it be kids against parents where they must work together to win
  • Give them walkie talkies and have them pretend to solve a mystery as detectives
  • Create a treasure hunt for them to work together to find the clues
  • Go on funny animal walks where they take turns calling out the animal
  • Reading to each other their favorite book
  • Dancing to their favorite songs
  • Have them work to draw funny characters – divide the paper into a top, middle and bottom and each sibling gets to draw a different character that they can then make silly versions of by looking at different tops, middles and bottoms
  • Pretend the floor is lava or work together to keep the balloon in the air

3. Praise what’s going right

Look for moments when they are helping each other, sharing, taking turns, or working together and praise their actions. The more attention you give to actions you want, the more you will see the behavior. 

4. Build in acts of kindness for each other

The holidays might be over, but the time for kindness is never done. Helping siblings work together to do something nice for family members or neighbors, spending time with each sibling helping them pick out something special for each other or cheering family members on during their after-school activities are all great ways to promote the importance of being kind. Additionally, it helps build positive memories, compassion and care for each other.

Conclusion:

Sibling relationships are one of the longest lasting relationships of a persons life. It is important to cultivate a positive and supportive relationship from a young age, and that starts with encouraging compassion, fun, and care within the household. Want to read more on the subject? Check out Raising Loving Siblings by Jonathan Caspi, PhD, Guilford Press, 2025.

Holidays Mental Wellness Relationships Self-care Uncategorized • • • • • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Home for the Holidays: 5 Ways to Navigate Holiday Family Dynamics and Fuel Your Inner Peace

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

As much as we love the holiday season, it’s also a time of heightened stress—one that can amplify long-standing family patterns and dynamics. The holidays are different from most other times of year because we often placate and compromise more during interactions just to get through the event. We may tolerate behaviors or slip into family roles we wouldn’t otherwise accept.

While compromise has its place, creating positive family memories shouldn’t come at the expense of our emotional wellbeing. Here are five ways to protect yourself from emotional burnout while celebrating with family this holiday season.

What Role Are You Cast In?

When we step back into family and friend circles during the holidays, familiar patterns of interaction and communication often resurface. These dynamics can pull us back into roles we may have long forgotten—or already outgrown. Roles like The Peacemaker, The Jokester, Mom’s Favorite, or The Black Sheep are shaped over time and influence how we feel about ourselves and others.

Each family role also comes with its own emotional weight, sometimes stirring up intense feelings like anger, anxiety, or abandonment. One helpful thing to remember is that every role serves a purpose within the family system. When you can reflect on the role (or roles) you tend to occupy and increase awareness of the function it plays, you’re less likely to be unintentionally pulled back into it—and into its emotional aftermath.

Don’t Fight the Feeling

Resurfacing family roles and patterns can trigger some of our most intense emotional experiences. During the holidays, we often try to compartmentalize or push emotions aside just to get through gatherings. But emotions have a way of sneaking out anyway—often through less adaptive behaviors like sarcasm, overindulgence, social withdrawal, or internalized sadness, anxiety, or anger. Over time, these outlets contribute to emotional burnout.

Instead of suppressing emotions, try noticing them. Pay attention to how a particular person or interaction makes you feel, and give that feeling a bit of breathing room. What might it be telling you—to back off, reduce contact, speak up for yourself, or seek support elsewhere? Even if you don’t act on the emotion, acknowledging it helps release internal pressure and lowers your emotional temperature.

Write New Endings to Old Stories

Do interactions with certain family members always seem to end the same way? If your answer is a resounding yes, here’s the good news: you have more control than it might feel like.

Identify the familiar “story arc”—the beginning, middle, and typical ending of the interaction. Then imagine a few alternative endings that would feel more supportive or aligned with your needs. For example, instead of an ending marked by escalation or shutdown, you might choose one where you express yourself directly and respectfully, or one where you take space before emotions run too high.

When you notice yourself entering a familiar rerun, you can consciously turn the page and choose a different ending.

Boundaries Are the Perfect Gift to Give

One of the most effective ways to step out of well-worn family roles and change interaction patterns is through clear boundaries. Practice stating boundaries using simple, direct language:

  • “I’ll be leaving at 9:00 pm.” 
  • “Please don’t speak to me that way.” 
  • “That’s not something I want to talk about.” 

Notice that each of these is an “I” statement. Focusing on what you will or won’t do—rather than trying to manage someone else’s behavior—makes boundaries far more effective and less dependent on others’ reactions. Truly, boundaries are the gift that keeps on giving.

Beware of the Shame and Guilt Trap

Some family members may respond to boundaries by attempting to induce guilt or shame. Don’t fall for it. You are allowed to have physical and emotional needs.

Expressing what you want or need gives others the opportunity to respect you and, in some cases, strengthen the relationship. If someone isn’t able—or willing—to make space for your needs, remind yourself that your wellbeing still matters. Taking emotional or physical space can be an act of self-respect, not selfishness.

Conclusion

As the holidays unfold, remember that you don’t have to show up perfectly—you just have to show up honestly. Family dynamics are deeply wired, and noticing them without judgment is already meaningful work. Each moment of awareness, each boundary you honor, and each pause you take to care for yourself is a step toward creating holidays that feel more peaceful and more authentic. 

 

Happy Holidays from all of us at Monarch Behavioral Health 

Make an appointment today! https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/

Mental Wellness Self-care Stress Uncategorized • • • • • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Fuel Your Fire: Prevent and Recover from Burnout Using Emotional Intelligence and Self-Compassion

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Burnout isn’t just “being tired.” It’s a full-body, full-mind experience that can drain your energy, dull your motivation, and make even the work you once loved feel overwhelming. In fact, between 30–75% of people worldwide report experiencing burnout at some point. If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Am I just exhausted, or am I burning out?” — you’re not alone.

What Exactly Is Burnout?

Burnout is more than stress. It’s a recognized syndrome caused by chronic stress associated with a particular role (e.g., job, caregiving)  that isn’t successfully managed. It typically shows up in three dimensions:

  • Exhaustion – feeling drained, depleted, and unable to recharge.

  • Depersonalization – becoming detached, cynical, or negative about your work.

  • Reduced Accomplishment – feeling ineffective, unmotivated, or like you’re failing.

Left unchecked, burnout impacts not only your work, but your physical health, relationships, and overall wellbeing.

Spotting the Warning Signs

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It sneaks up on us through gradual signs:

  • Physical: disrupted sleep, low energy, changes in appetite, unexplained aches/pains.

  • Behavioral: procrastination, reduced productivity and efficiency, withdrawal from responsibilities.

  • Emotional/Mental: irritability, cynicism, brain fog, emotional exhaustion.

Noticing these signals early is key to preventing burnout from taking over.

Why Do We Burn Out?

The causes often come from two sides:

  • Work Factors: overwhelming workload, lack of values match with job or role, lack of control, unfair treatment, low rewards, and/or disconnection from community, distressing work tasks
  • Self Factors: tying self-worth to productivity and work identity, valuing self-sacrifice as a personal ideal, self-blame and low self-empathy, and/or struggling to balance other roles and responsibilities in life.

Interestingly, those who care the most — helpers, teachers, healthcare providers, parents, and leaders — are at highest risk for burnout.

Fighting Back: Emotional Intelligence as Your GPS

Emotions are not the enemy. In fact, they act like an internal GPS guiding us toward what we need. By practicing emotional intelligence (EI), you can learn to:

  1. Recognize and label your emotions accurately. We only have 6-8 basic emotions! Sure, we have thousands of descriptions for subtle differences in each emotion, but if we can label the core emotion accurately, this is very powerful.

  2. Understand how emotions link to motivation and action. Each of our basic emotion states links to specific motivational states and behaviors. For example, happiness links to a desire to keep doing the thing that is making us happy. Sadness links to rest, recouping the loss and connecting to others. As you learn emotion-motivation-action linking, emotions are far less overwhelming.

  3. Use emotions as guideposts for action and direction. Putting all the information together, we can make an action plan that points us in the direction of getting our actual needs and wants met in a healthy way – whether that means resting, seeking support, or setting boundaries.

When you tune into your emotions, they stop being roadblocks and start being signals that point you back toward balance.

The Secret Weapon: Mindful Self-Compassion

One of the most powerful antidotes to burnout is treating yourself with the same compassion you give to others. This means:

  • Permission: Allow yourself to feel and acknowledge your limits. Allow yourself to be as kind to YOU as you are to others.

  • Mindfulness: Practice being fully present without judgment or distraction. Daily sensory mindfulness practices are a great way to cultivate this ability. .

  • Common Humanity: Remember, burnout is a shared human experience, not a personal failing. We are all flawed and we all make mistakes.

  • Self-Compassion: Replace harsh self-criticism with care, understanding, and patience. Notice self-critical thoughts. Imagine your friend was saying these things about themself. How would you respond to that friend – now turn that empathy and compassion inward. 

Simple daily practices — like repeating a mantra (“My work is important, and so am I”), mindful breathing, or noticing and reframing negative self-talk — can help you rebuild resilience.

Creating Your Burnout Recovery Plan

Recovering from burnout isn’t about powering through — it’s about addressing work and self factors, so you can realign your approach to work with your values and daily capacity. A strong recovery plan includes:

  • Addressing workplace factors with a practical, solution-focused approach.

  • Building emotional intelligence to listen to your internal GPS.

  • Practicing mindful self-compassion daily to stay grounded and resilient.

Burnout isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a signal — and when you listen with compassion and curiosity, you can use it as a turning point toward healthier, more sustainable ways of working and living.

Anxiety Autism Child Wellness Mental Wellness Parenting • • • • • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

The PDA Puzzle: What is Pathological Demand Avoidance and how do we manage it?

Written by: Sarah Engels, MS, TLLP

Do everyday tasks — like brushing teeth, getting dressed, or household chores — sometimes feel like major uphill battles? Sometimes it’s children pushing back against tasks and routines; other times it’s adults facing the very same challenges at work, at home, or in relationships. If this sounds familiar, it doesn’t mean you or your child are “difficult” or “lazy.” Instead, PDA reflects a very real difference in how the brain processes stress, autonomy, and expectations. 

Research has shown that while occasional avoidance is a normal human behavior, some individuals, both children and adults, experience extreme anxiety when faced with everyday demands. This can trigger intense resistance, withdrawal, or even intense emotional reactions. These patterns are known as Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), a profile of emotional and behavioral responses often seen in individuals who are neurodivergent.

PDA has become a bit of a buzzword on the internet lately. You may have heard it discussed in a Tik Tok or Instagram Reel. But what, really, is PDA? How does it develop? And how do we manage it?

Understanding PDA can help families, teachers, bosses and individuals themselves respond with greater empathy, flexibility, and effective support—so everyday life feels less like a battle and more like a team effort. 

What is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?

PDA is a pattern of emotional and behavioral responses, but not an actual diagnosis on its own. Although it is common to experience this pattern as part of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), not all neurodivergent individuals experience PDA, and not all individuals who experience PDA are neurodivergent. In short, PDA can be experienced as part of ASD or other neurodiverse diagnoses, but can also be a stand alone pattern. 

Typically, PDA is characterized by intense avoidance of completing a task (or tasks) that we have the skills and abilities to do, because it is perceived to be a demand or even request. But we must back up and look at what happens before the intense avoidance, because important cognitive (thinking) and emotional patterns happen first.  

Why does PDA develop?

Neurodivergent individuals can experience inflexible patterns of thinking and behaviors, which means they struggle to adapt to change or new information. In addition, neurodivergent individuals may have a difficult time with social communication and understanding social cues. Layer in sensory processing challenges often experienced by neurodivergent individuals, and you get the perfect recipe for overwhelm. 

Difficulties with inflexible thinking, adaptation to change, challenges with social communication and sensory overload are brewing under the PDA patterns. They make it hard to understand where a demand came from, and often demands can feel like they came out of nowhere. This creates an uptick in anxiety and rigidity, that then triggers avoidance behaviors and sometimes emotional escalation. 

Another common underlying factor fueling PDA is poor executive functioning. Difficulties in executive functioning typically make it harder for individuals to track schedules or structures, especially in social environments. Even seemingly small tasks or chores can feel intensely overwhelming when an individual can’t plan the steps or ‘see’ the end of the task. This overwhelm often incites feelings of anxiety and irritation, causing an individual to throw up barriers and avoid these tasks.

Recommendations for moving through PDA

A collaborative approach to problem solving, highlighting effective communication is a key part for working through PDA. Oftentimes, neurodivergent individuals, children and adults, require more direct communication about expectations, but this can have the opposite effect for those who experience PDA. Here are three tricks for figuring out the PDA puzzle.

1. Sneak in choices, not commands

Make tasks a collaboration. Instead of saying “go put your shoes on” try saying, “red or blue shoes today?” Demands tend to make an individual with PDA shut down the task immediately, but by framing it as a choice, we feel less pressure.

2. Bend don’t break

Not every hill is the hill to die on. Pick your battles carefully. More flexibility on your end, will lead to less anxiety and resistance to fuel PDA. This also means when supporting a loved one, a child or partner with PDA, regulating your own emotional reaction to their PDA patterns is key.

3. Connection first

Focus on being a team first. Individuals who exhibit PDA patterns also often have areas of intense interest. Join in their world and understand their motivations by incorporating their special interests into tasks. This will increase their internal motivation to complete the task and they will feel more validated and understood. If an individual who experiences PDA is comfortable, they are more likely to meet you half-way. 

Conclusion

PDA can make getting daily tasks done feel like climbing a mountain. But you are not alone in this feeling, and you do not have to face this challenge alone. Treatment for PDA behaviors focuses on addressing thought patterns, increasing flexible thinking, and building adaptive skills. We can help you put together an individualized treatment plan to address these challenges. Call our office at 248-220-3332 or make an appointment today with the link below. 

https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/ 

ADHD Mental Wellness Parenting Uncategorized • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Summer Series 5: Emotions Are Your Brain’s GPS: Helping Neurodivergent Kids Navigate Big Feelings

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Emotions First, Regulation Later: Understanding Neurodivergent Emotional Processing

Our brains are wired for emotion before anything else. Long before we can talk, plan, or problem-solve, our emotional processing systems are fully online. For neurodivergent individuals—including those with ADHD, Autism, learning disabilities, or executive functioning challenges—emotions often feel bigger, faster, and harder to manage.

Ever notice your child goes from zero to sixty emotionally in seconds? That’s not misbehavior—it’s biology.

Emotions are your body’s built-in GPS. When we learn to tune in, name them, and understand what they’re pointing us toward, we can transform big feelings into powerful guides.

 This Skill Set Targets:

  • Intense emotions and emotional dysregulation

  • Impulsivity and difficulty with self-control

  • Social skills and perspective-taking

  • Problem-solving and conflict resolution

“Name It to Tame It”: The First Step to Regulation

Did you know that humans all over the world share six core emotions? These emotions are universal and hardwired:

  • Happy

  • Sad

  • Angry

  • Fear

  • Surprise/Shock

  • Disgust

When children use clear, basic emotion words instead of vague ones like “upset” or “mad,” it gives their brain a better roadmap for what to do next. Start practicing emotional literacy by naming the emotion out loud, then ask:

“How big is that feeling right now? Let’s rate it from 0 to 10.”

You can also model by labeling emotions in yourself as well as fictional characters::

  • Yourself: “I feel sad right now. I think I need a break.”

  • Your child: “It seems like you’re feeling angry—maybe a 7?”

  • Fictional characters: “What do you think she felt in that moment?”

Boosting Inner Self-Talk for Better Reflection

Many children with ADHD and similar profiles experience a delay in developing self talk — the voice in your head that helps you reflect, reason, and pause before acting. That’s why increasing external self-talk can help regulate emotions and reduce impulsivity.

After labeling an emotion, try asking open-ended reflection questions:

  • “What do you think made her/them/you feel that way?”

  • “What do you think they/you want to do now?”

  • “Is that something that will help or hurt?”

This kind of dialogue builds emotional insight, problem solving and executive functioning skills over time.

Link Emotions to Motivation: What Is This Feeling Telling Me?

Each emotion gives us a biological message about what we need or what action we should take:

Emotion Message
Sadness You may need comfort, closeness, or a break
Anger Something feels unfair or threatening—defend or set a boundary
Fear You feel unsafe—gather more info, seek safety or support
Surprise/Shock Pause and assess—something unexpected happened
Disgust Avoid or move away from something potentially harmful
Happiness Move toward connection, play, or enjoyment

Try asking:

  • “What do you think your sadness is telling you you need?”

  • “What might that character do next, based on the emotion they were feeling?”

This step helps children translate emotion into action, increasing both motivation and emotional intelligence.

Final Thoughts: Emotions Aren’t the Problem—They’re the Map!

At our practice, we help neurodivergent kids, teens, and adults understand that emotions aren’t bad—they’re information. With the right tools and support, these emotions become stepping stones toward self-awareness, resilience, and connection.

If your child struggles with impulsivity, meltdowns, or social misunderstandings, you’re not alone. These strategies are a starting point—but sometimes individualized support makes all the difference.

Reach out for personalized emotional regulation coaching or support—we’re here to help your child thrive. Call 248-220-3332 or follow the link to make an appointment https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/  

LGBTQIA+ Mental Wellness Pride Month By Beth Church 0 Comments

Pride: 6 Ways to Engage in Radical Resistance through Self-Care

Written By: Alyssa Hedke, MA, LLP

During this month, we celebrate the LGBTQIA+ community, identity, joy, and resilience. To acknowledge Pride, we must also acknowledge the significant struggles the LGBTQIA+ community continues to face- struggles that persist well beyond the month of celebrations and festive parades.

Due to ongoing discrimination, LGBTQIA+ individuals experience mental health challenges at significantly higher rates than their cisgender, heterosexual peers. LGBTQIA+ individuals, especially those who are trans, nonbinary, BIPOC, disabled, or have cross sectional identities, face disproportionate mental health challenges. These include:

  • Increased risk of anxiety, depression, PTSD, and suicidal ideation

  • High rates of rejection from family, school, or faith communities

  • Barriers to affirming mental health care and safe housing

  • Constant code-switching or self-monitoring in unsafe spaces

These ongoing challenges are exhausting to manage on a daily basis. So, how can you combat these daily obstacles to living your best authentic life? One way is by practicing self-care focused on rest, self-love, and re-energizing yourself.

Self-care has become a hashtag seen all over social media. We often reduce it to spa days, scented candles, and trips to the ice cream store. But for LGBTQIA+ individuals, self-care can be a deeply personal act of survival, resistance, and restoration. Living authentically in a society that often denies your existence takes tremendous energy and willpower. Daily life may include navigating microaggressions, discrimination, family rejection, or outright hostility—both in public and online. Standard self-care advice often overlooks these realities.

Self-care for queer and trans people must consider identity, expression, and community.
 Here are inclusive and identity-affirming self-care practices for LGBTQIA+ individuals—or anyone supporting them through allyship.

1. Focus on Your Joy Without Guilt

 In a world that profits from shame, choosing to take up space and celebrate yourself is an act of defiance and joy.

Try:

  • Making a playlist of queer artists who energize you

  • Wearing clothing that affirms your gender or style

  • Reconnecting with affirming memories, chosen family, or your coming-out journey

  • Celebrating personal milestones (e.g., name change anniversary, first Pride)

2. Set and Honor Your Boundaries

Your body is yours — and so is your right to rest, move, say no, or disconnect for a while.

Try:

  • Setting boundaries with unsupportive people — even if they’re family
  • Creating a “safe zone” in your home with affirming sensory cues; images, items, and scents
  • Practicing movement that feels empowering (walking, dancing, stretching)
  • Saying “no” without over-explaining your reasons. You don’t owe people explanations for needing a mental health break.

3. Connect With Your Chosen Family and Community

Connect with the LGBTQIA+ community or your chosen family — the friends, mentors, and partners who love and affirm you.

Try:

  • Organizing low-pressure check-ins with queer friends
  • Hosting a queer book club or hangouts
  • Celebrating holidays or birthdays with your chosen community
  • Reaching out, even when it’s hard — someone likely needs you too
  • Connect with safe, supportive members of the community of LGBTQ folks in your city, college campus, faith organization, or online friend/support group.

4. Channel Creativity and Expression

Spend time fostering your creativity and your individual expression to celebrate yourself!

Try:

  • Writing poetry or journaling about your lived experience
  • Creating visual art or playlists that express your truth
  • Dressing in ways that align with your inner self, regardless of norms
  • Consuming art from and with others you feel aligned with

5. Rest as Resistance

In a culture that tells LGBTQIA+ people to always fight or “hustle” for respect and basic dignity, rest becomes radical.

Try:

  • Practicing mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing
  • Listening to your body without guilt or self-judgment
  • Creating a regular “do nothing” ritual — without needing to feel as if you need to “earn” it
  • Sleeping in
  • Turning your phone off or set to Do Not Disturb for as long as you need.  Letting the world wait until you are ready.

6. Reach out for professional support

Due to the daily challenges and potential for burnout, it can be helpful to seek professional support from mental health providers who offer affirming care and guidance on how to move beyond survival mode.

Prioritize: 

  • Making an appointment with a therapist (if you already have one). 
  • Beginning the journey of seeking therapy, utilize resources that are vetted for the LGBTQIA+ community 
  • Connecting with a crisis counselor through TrevorChat

 

Conclusion

Queer-affirming self-care should not be viewed as a luxury- it can be life-saving. It’s not always pretty or Instagram-worthy. Sometimes it may look like crying in the shower, ghosting toxic people, or quietly affirming your worth in the mirror. Wherever you are in your journey — out, closeted, questioning, healing, surviving, affirming — you deserve care that sees all of you. You are worthy of rest, joy, and love all year long-not just during the month of June. But regardless, Happy Pride- a month to celebrate YOU.

Anxiety Depression Mental Wellness PMAD Stress By Beth Church 0 Comments

Recognizing Perinatal Mood or Anxiety Disorders

Written by: Jessi Beatty, PhD, LP

There are so many pressures that come with being a new parent. It often feels like there’s an expectation for things to ‘come naturally’ and be filled with overwhelming joy and love. The reality of bringing a new life into the world is filled with tectonic physical changes and intense emotions of all kinds. This can make it difficult to talk about maternal mental health, as most moms feel the pressures of stigma surrounding their less-than-perfect experience. During May, which is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, we want to establish a new normal; one  in which all parents can openly acknowledge both amazing and challenging aspects of parenthood, and advocate for individuals who experience perinatal mood or anxiety disorders. 

Pressures of Parenthood

The transition to parenthood is challenging in one way or another for almost everyone. So many changes happen during this time: sleep, relationships, work, schedules, and other areas of life can have significant shifts. It can be hard to know what a ‘normal adjustment’ is when you are feeling tired and overwhelmed as you adapt to these big changes. Feelings of shame or embarrassment can come up if the transition feels harder than you expected or if you’re not feeling the “glow” of new parenthood that is often romanticized in our society. However, it is normal to feel this way, and you are not alone in this.

We tend to be hard on ourselves and put the blame on a lack of something inside us rather than realizing the struggles could be an indication of a medical condition and not a sign of failure. Additionally, each person’s experience of parenthood is unique. For some, bonds and adjustment come fairly easily, while for others, it may be more difficult. Neither of these experiences are the “right” one.

The intensity of these changes and the onslaught of emotion and pressure can make it difficult to recognize when a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder (PMAD) is present, so it is important to know the signs and symptoms, and the differences from normal ‘baby blues.’

Baby blues vs perinatal mood or anxiety disorder (PMAD)

Research shows up to 80% of new parents experience some mood swings and weepiness during the first 2-3 weeks of parenthood. This is often labeled “the baby blues” and will resolve without any medical assistance.

Up to 20% of women can continue to struggle past this period and experience more significant symptoms of depression during their pregnancy or postpartum period. About 6% of pregnant women and about 10% of postpartum women have anxiety, intrusive repetitive thoughts, panic, or post-traumatic stress. Sometimes women experience anxiety alone, but others can experience both anxiety and depression during this period. Postpartum Psychosis, where the mother’s thoughts are significantly altered  and often scary,  occurs in approximately 1 to 2 out of every 1,000 deliveries. The media often calls postpartum psychosis depression, but it is a separate and unique illness. Any of these reactions can also occur with miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, or infant loss.

When someone starts to feel sad, worried, or not interested in activities that used to bring them joy, and experience several other symptoms (discussed next) they may be experiencing PMAD. You may feel more irritable, agitated, or overwhelmed rather than sad or nervous. Other symptoms might include insomnia or sleeping most of the time, appetite changes, restlessness, feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness, difficulty concentrating, and physical symptoms such as dizziness, rapid heartbeat, or aches and pains that last beyond typical recovery from birth. 

Risk factors for PMAD include a personal or family history of anxiety or depression, previous depression or anxiety, or thyroid imbalance. When symptoms move to this level of intensity seeking outside support is important and there are many research backed treatments that work very well. 

Comparison of Baby Blues vs. PMAD

  Baby Blues PMAD
When it starts After birth (can start while at the hospital) During pregnancy or up to one year postpartum
How long it lasts A few days, up to three weeks Longer than three weeks
Typical symptoms Mood is generally happy or calm with bouts of moodiness, tearfulness, anxiety and/or sadness

 

Trouble concentrating

 Mood predominantly sad, anxious, or irritable with some of the following symptoms: scary thoughts, hopelessness, feelings of guilt, problems sleeping, fatigue, loss of interest in activities typically enjoyed, changes in appetite, trouble making decisions or trouble concentrating

 

When to seek help

Consider reaching out for help if your emotions make it difficult to:

  •       Parent effectively
  •       Take care of yourself effectively (including getting enough sleep or eating well)
  •       Perform daily tasks or complete work tasks

Other important signs you should reach out for help:

  •       Thinking about hurting yourself or your child
  •       Feeling like you are often reexperiencing a traumatic birth experience, pregnancy  loss or other past traumatic event
  •       Frequent bouts of crying
  •       Feeling hopeless or worthless
  •       Experiencing persistent scary thoughts such as your baby being harmed or you harming your baby
  •       Worrying that you are “losing your mind” or “going crazy”
  •       Feeling like you have not been able to bond with your child and/or you are not fit to be a parent

Conclusion

Perinatal mood or anxiety disorders are temporary and treatable with professional help for both moms and dads. The transition to parenthood is tough on us all but if it reaches a level described above it’s important to reach out for help. Treatment typically includes some combination of increased and targeted self-care, social support, therapy, and/or treatment of symptoms with medication when necessary.

Self-care is aimed at increasing resilience during a time in which so much mental and physical burden is placed upon you. It includes proper rest, good nutrition, assistance with baby and other children, and caring for personal needs such as exercise, relaxation, or time with partner/spouse. Building up your support team for a wide range of supports is important during this time. Talking with a counselor or therapist who understands perinatal mental health disorders can be extremely beneficial. There are several research backed treatments that can help you improve your mood, cope more effectively during the transition to parenthood, and develop the relationship with your child(ren) and partner that you want.

Resources:

Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net/

World Maternal Mental Health Day – May 7, 2025: https://wmmhday.postpartum.net/

Pine Rest Mother and Baby Day Program: https://www.pinerest.org/day-programs/mother-baby-program/

Pine Rest Resource: Understanding PMAD: https://www.pinerest.org/media/Understanding-PMAD.pdf

University of Michigan Women and Infants Mental Health Program: https://medicine.umich.edu/dept/psychiatry/programs/women-infants-mental-health 

Zero to Thrive Clinic: https://zerotothrive.org/clinical-services/perinatal-psychiatry-clinic/

Book recommendation: Mom Brain, Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Mom-Brain-Strategies-Overwhelming-Motherhood/dp/1462540260

Resources in the Community

Nature’s Playhouse: https://www.naturesplayhouse.com/

Honey for Moms: https://www.honeyformoms.com/

Scarff JR. Postpartum Depression in Men. Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience. 2019 May 1;16(5-6):11-14. PMID: 31440396; PMCID: PMC6659987.

Kim P, Swain JE. Sad dads: paternal postpartum depression. Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2007 Feb;4(2):35-47. PMID: 20805898; PMCID: PMC2922346.

Autism Mental Wellness Uncategorized By Beth Church 0 Comments

Transitions on the Spectrum

 

Written by Jessica Hauser-Harrington, PhD, LP

Spring is a time of transitions and new beginnings. For high school seniors, it brings the end of their secondary education, and often, the transition to college or jobs. For seniors on the Autism Spectrum, it can be a time of both excitement and celebration, as well as one of potential anxiety and uncertainty. Fortunately, with planning and preparation, worries can be reduced and celebrations enjoyed more thoroughly.

Marking the Transition

These transitions are typically marked with milestone celebrations such as graduation ceremonies and parties. For an individual with ASD, large crowds, loud noises, and the need to sit still in one place for extended periods of time can be challenging. Pre-planning strategies to manage sensory overload, anxiety, and fatigue during these milestone celebrations is key. Can they wear ear buds or noise dampening/canceling headphones? If there will be long stretches of time between meals, is there a way to pack a snack? Is there a comfort object or fidget that might help the sitting and waiting feel less stressful? Is it possible to sit near an aisle where getting up and taking a break would be more feasible? Will your son or daughter want to take pictures before the ceremony, after, or on a different day?

When it comes to graduation parties, don’t assume that your child will or won’t want a party. Discuss expectations for the number of guests, the foods served, and how social you want your child to be at the part. This is their first time around celebrating this milestone, and discussing expectations will leave more room for joy.  It may also be useful to pre-plan breaks or “calm down” areas if the party extends over what is a typical interval of interaction time for your child. Would a different type of celebration altogether be more enjoyable–be willing to think outside the box. Finally, make sure to discuss expectations with siblings and extended family members who may also be joining in celebrating your senior.

Transitioning to College

If your son or daughter is transitioning to college, planning ahead is also important. Some teenagers think they will automatically acquire a certain level of responsibility, initiative or skill just by becoming a “college student.” Unfortunately, that’s not usually the case. Whether it’s six months ahead or six weeks ahead or maybe just 6 days ahead, have discussions about what life skills are needed to be successful at college above and beyond the academic demands and start practicing. If they don’t know how to already, teaching your child how to do laundry, how to cook some basic meals, how to manage basic finances (including setting up a bank account that a parent has access to as well), and how to navigate bus systems or public transportation (if applicable) will be important. Use a scaffolding technique, where you demonstrate basic skills, allow your child to replicate them with supervision, and then add on more complex or advanced skills as they progress. You may also consider creating social stories, checklists or algorithms around these new responsibilities that your child can take with them to college.

Many colleges and universities also have ASD-specific programs to help support your son or daughter both academically and socially. Making sure to look into these options and apply to them (if required) ahead of time. Similarly, if your child has an IEP or 504 plan, these can transition into college-level accommodations. Ensuring that your child’s testing is up to date is also a key part of this process as most colleges and universities will want recent testing data. Contacting the school’s office of student support services to learn what their requirements are and what the process is to get the accommodations set up is important and something that you may need to do with your child. If your son or daughter is 18 or older, make sure that they sign the necessary releases of information that will allow you to also communicate with university staff as needed.

If your child sees a therapist at home, consider options for telehealth (if in the same state or allowed by the therapist’s licensing/credentials) or seek out referrals in your child’s new city. Most, if not all, colleges and universities have counseling centers on campus that offer both individual therapy as well as group therapy options. The session number per student might be limited though, so identifying clinicians in the local community is also a great idea. Also, if your child takes regular medications, make plans to have a large enough supply, transfer the prescriptions to a pharmacy on or near campus, or look into mail-order delivery. If your son or daughter will be picking up their medications on their own for the first time, practice going to the pharmacy with them. 

Transitioning to a Job

If your son or daughter is transitioning to a job, utilize resources from your local school district. She or he may have options to take interest inventories that may help point him or her in the direction of a job or work environment they may be interested in. Public schools also have specific transition planning for students with IEPs. Job training resources through the school district or MichiganWorks can be an option to help build skills and identify potential jobs. Helping your son or daughter to be realistic about the number of hours he or she feels they can work, whether he or she wants a public-facing or behind the scenes job, and what level of supervision he or she will require is important. Discussions around managing finances, contributing at home financially and/or through chores will help clarify expectations for your adult child and the changing relationship you may have with them as they age. 

Additional Resources and Relevant Websites for Adolescents and Adults with ASD/CI/DD

Community Mental Health Oakland County https://www.oaklandchn.org/ 

Autism Alliance of Michigan (call to get resource information sometimes better than navigating their online system) https://autismallianceofmichigan.org/ 

Living and Learning Enrichment Center (www.livingandlearningcenter.org) 248-308-3592

OUCARES at Oakland University (http://www.oakland.edu/oucares/): for Adult social groups and employment skills 248-370-2424

On My Own: Independent living resources for adults (https://onmyownofmi.org/)

MORC: Services for individuals with physical and intellectual disabilities in Oakland County (https://www.morcinc.org/)

Community Living Services: https://www.comlivserv.com/ 

The ARC of Oakland County: Non-profit that focuses on advocacy and community participation for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (https://thearcoakland.org/) 

Michigan Rehabilitation Services: https://www.michigan.gov/leo/bureaus-agencies/mrs

Possible places to find additional support:

Friendship Circle: https://www.friendshipcircle.org/

SAIL (group of parents in the area looking for living solutions for their adult children with special needs): https://sailhousingsolutions.org/