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Author: <span>Beth Church</span>
Balancing the Joy and Stress of the Holidays
Pumpkin spice is a distant memory as we transition to peppermint mocha to energize our bodies full steam ahead into the holiday season. The holidays are marketed as the “most wonderful time of the year”. Odds are many agree with that sentiment. But, as we know this time of the year can bring both joy and stress. Nothing reminds me more of this delicate balance of emotions than the festive family picture. They are shared with family and friends through social media posts and holiday cards. They showcase families in their finest attire being silly, smiling, and looking lovingly into a camera on their best behaviors. We see the picture perfect family basking in the holiday season in all its glory. What we don’t see is the leadup to the picture perfect portrait.
We do not hear siblings arguing amongst themselves. We do not hear disgruntled parents bribing their children to wear something other than their princess dress and crocs. We do not see parents frantically running out of the house 15 minutes behind schedule and sweating in their color coordinated outfits mom spent hours researching and putting together. But, families do it every year. Why? Because as much stress as the experience causes, we also know the picture will bring us joy. So, how do we manage the holidays knowing we will experience joy and stress together? There are strategies that we can all use to feel resilient and in control at the intersection of holiday cheer and stress.
Find Balance and Execute
There are numerous wonderful experiences to be had with friends and family in such a short season of celebration. Saying yes to every invite may sound like a wonderful way to connect with your loved ones but it can become draining on your time, resources, and energy. Plan ahead and be realistic with how much time you would like to reserve for yourself and for others. Decide on how many events you feel comfortable attending during a week that will provide yourself and family with both holiday cheer and down time to relax and recharge. Evaluate the needs of your family and align events that are geared towards your needs. A quiet evening at home watching a movie can be just as memorable as elaborate get-togethers or ceremonies.
Set Realistic Expectations
Setting realistic expectations during the season can help manage how we view and enjoy them! Expecting everyone to be filled with holiday cheer and get along with no setbacks to occur (for an entire evening) may be unrealistic. When we are expecting children to test limits and challenges to occur, it can help us feel in control and prepared to manage them as they arise. Making a mental list of what you hope to experience during an event, as well as what would be reasonable limitations helps us to enjoy bright moments while making room for realistic challenges.
Take Care of Yourself!
It may sound silly to say, but it’s important to take care of ourselves to feel well prepared to navigate our emotional responses! Meeting our basic physical needs impacts our overall mental health a great deal. Get consistent sleep, engage in physical movement, and balance meals and water intake. When we are meeting our needs, we can regulate our emotions and reactions easier in times of stress. For instance, sleep has a huge impact on our mood. You may be short-tempered and vulnerable to stress if we’re not getting consistent quality sleep, moving our bodies, and fueling our bodies to feel good. If needed leave holiday celebrations early – it’s okay to do that! Give yourself permission to care for yourself!
Seek Help
As always- reach out! We’re here to help if you’re
– Experiencing more mental health difficulties during the holiday season
– Navigating the “first” holidays without loved ones
– Feeling like stress is preventing you from enjoying the holidays
– Interested in learning strategies to build resilience and balance at the intersection of holiday joy and stress!
Don’t face holiday struggles alone. Contact us and speak with one of our dedicated clinicians.
Keeping Away the Winter Blues
Now that the days are getting shorter, colder, and the sun is shining less, sadness may creep into our daily mood more often. In fact, it’s not uncommon for many of us to begin to feel ‘the winter blues’ this time of year.
However, some experience more intense feelings known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD. This is a form of depression that lasts for a specific season of the year, typically the winter months, and goes away the rest of the year. During this time a person may experience the following symptoms: loss of interest in activities they typically enjoy, feeling sad most of the day, feeling easily fatigued, having trouble sleeping or sleeping too much, and/or increased feelings of hopelessness or guilt. If your winter blues are more intense, like described above, and have occurred for at least two winters, you may have SAD. There is research supporting treatment for SAD, so be sure to reach out to us if your winter blues have reached this level of intensity, we are happy to explain more and want to help.
To help combat the winter blues or SAD, the following research supported tips can help:
1. Get as much sun as possible
Exposure to less sunlight is one reason this season can be especially hard on us. Sunlight is known to affect areas of the brain that regulate mood and the sleep-wake cycle, as well as memory functioning. We feel happier and more ‘mentally sharp’ when we are getting consistent sunlight. One effective strategy to keep away the winter blues is to try to get sunlight shortly after you wake up. You can sit by the window while you eat breakfast or open the curtains and blinds after you wake up. Winter outdoor activities and sports can also help us get our daily allotment of rays. Even just a 15 minute walk has a positive impact on mood. Also, many people use a light therapy box to mimic outdoor light. This type of light may cause a chemical change in the brain that lifts your mood and helps decrease the feelings of tiredness and sleeping too much. Typically, a person using light therapy will sit in front of the light box first thing in the morning for a short period of time. Before deciding to start light therapy, it’s best to talk with your health care provider first.
2. Keep active and moving
Physical movement helps our brain produce neurotransmitters that support positive mood. However, as it gets chilly, our physical activity often reduces. As mentioned above, there are plenty of winter activities that can keep you active. Walking or hiking to take in the fall colors or snow-covered trees, skiing, ice skating, or snowshoeing are all great winter activities in Michigan. If being active in the cold isn’t your thing, there are plenty of opportunities for indoor activities: look for sports teams at your local community center, get a gym membership, start practicing yoga, or take a dance class. Any way to get exercise and keep your body moving will help destress and increase your endorphins for a boost of positive feelings.
3. Maintain connections and social support
Research indicates relationships with good communication, shared experiences and regular time spent together positively impact our moods and can make it less likely for the winter blues to turn into depression for you or your children. During the winter months it’s not uncommon to want to stay in and be less active. However, that can make us feel more isolated and make us feel even more down. Plan outings 15-60 days out to ensure you don’t isolate. Keep up with friends and let them know if you are feeling down. People around us often don’t realize or know how we are feeling, but care and want to help.
4. Stick to basics
Eating healthy and getting enough sleep are under-appreciated for maintaining your mental health. The fall season brings copious amounts of fresh fruits and vegetables to farmers markets and is a good time to try a new recipe or two. Making sure you’re eating regular meals and trying to stick to a balanced diet as much as you can during the holidays can help. Family meals are a great time to connect and catch up with each other. Involving children in meal planning or cooking with them can teach them important skills and connect. Getting sunlight first thing in the morning can help stabilize your circadian rhythm, stopping melatonin production to maintain regular sleep and wake times and get you more Vitamin D. Placing an importance on getting enough sleep can help with the fluctuations in mood and help regulate your emotions. It’s hard to be at our best for friends and family when we are not taking care of our physical and emotional needs.
5. Reach out sooner rather than later
If the winter blues last longer than 2 weeks or significantly impact you or your child’s functioning with friends, at school or work, or at home, it’s time to get real support or guidance. We encourage people to reach out before a crisis occurs, so that when difficulties arise, you or your child already have coping strategies and support in place.
If these activities do not help, or your symptoms worsen, contact us or talk to your health care provider.
Understanding Dyslexia: Myth Vs Fact
Despite being one of the most common learning disorders, dyslexia is frequently surrounded by misconceptions and myths that can lead to stigmatization and hinder effective treatment. Our goal is to debunk some of the most common myths about dyslexia and replace them with facts. We hope to provide accurate information that can help individuals with dyslexia, their families, educators, and the general public better understand this condition. From the myth that dyslexia is simply about reversing letters, to the misconception that people with dyslexia have below average intelligence, we will tackle these falsehoods head-on. So, without further ado, let’s dive in and separate fact from fiction!
What is Dyslexia?
Dyslexia is a neurodevelopmental disorder that impacts brain processes responsible for reading. Dyslexia impacts how the brain processes symbolic information, such as letters and numbers, associates these symbols with meaning (such as sounds and amounts), and the speed and accuracy with which the brain processes this information.
Myths versus Facts
Conclusion
Dyslexia is a condition that is widely misunderstood. It is a neurological condition that affects the way the brain processes written and verbal language. Individuals with dyslexia are just as capable as their peers, however, they may require additional support, treatment, and resources to help them learn and be successful.
Having an understanding and awareness is key to eliminating the stigma associated with dyslexia or any other mental health condition. It’s our hope that we can collectively continue to educate ourselves and others about this condition, and foster an environment of acceptance and support for all learners.
We hope this post challenges you to look beyond the myths of dyslexia and perhaps even other conditions!
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Understanding the Relationship Between ADHD and Sensory Seeking Behaviors
In the spirit of ADHD awareness month, let’s bust some of the myths out there and provide some accurate and potentially new, insightful information about ADHD.
First of all, what is ADHD? We hear about it all the time because it’s become pretty common in mainstream lingo, but what exactly does it mean? And why does it make sense to have a conversation about sensory seeking behaviors with ADHD?
What is ADHD?
In general, ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is not just about hyperactivity or inattention. It’s actually all about difficulties regulating arousal, attention/concentration, impulse control, as well as other executive functions that guide organized, goal-oriented behavior. A person with ADHD may find it extremely difficult to focus and sustain their attention, sit still, keep track of their belongings, categorize and organize things, plan and execute larger tasks, and control impulsive urges and behaviors. For example, have you ever known someone who just can’t seem to keep track of their car keys? Or a child who struggles to remember to bring home their homework? Or maybe you know someone that no matter how hard they try, they just can’t seem to keep their room picked up. How about someone that seems to really take a deep dive into the things they enjoy, but can’t find the motivation to plan or do things that are less important to them? All of these behaviors are normal on their own, but when observed in combination with other ADHD symptoms, and to a degree that they are impairing functioning at work, home or school… that person might have ADHD!
Sensory Seeking Behaviors
In addition to the symptoms and behaviors mentioned above, ADHD and many other neurodevelopmental disorders can also cause sensory seeking behaviors.
Have you ever seen a child climbing all over or jumping off of furniture, stomping their feet, purposefully falling, bumping into things or bouncing around? Have you ever seen a child or adolescent or maybe even an adult chew on their shirt or sweatshirt strings? Have you ever seen a child watch tv or their iPad while upside down? Or maybe they did a lot of spinning around or swinging? Have you ever seen a child watch tv or their iPad really loud? Or make loud, sort of strange repetitive noises? Maybe yelling or screaming? Any of these behaviors at first glance may have seemed like this child was “acting out” or “misbehaving”. But let’s look at this from another lens.
If you answered yes to any of these, you may have seen kids engage in sensory seeking behaviors! Sensory seeking behaviors help individuals regulate (increase or sometimes decrease) the stimulation their brain is getting. And more often than not, these behaviors are missed, overlooked, or misinterpreted as “bad behavior or bad parenting”. They are not “bad behavior”, nor are they a result of “bad parenting”. These behaviors are really important signals to parents, teachers, and clinicians about an individual’s need for sensory INPUT, not OUTPUT. And if these sensory needs are not met, it typically leads to an increase in needs and an increase and frequency and intensity of these behaviors. Meaning, ADHD behavior gets more disruptive sometimes because the individual is trying to regulate but isn’t getting what they need.
Understanding the relationship between ADHD and sensory seeking is crucial for developing effective strategies to manage these behaviors. By recognizing these connections, parents, teachers, and mental health professionals can better support children and adolescents with ADHD who exhibit sensory-seeking tendencies.
There are five main types of sensory seeking behaviors:
1. Oral Motor input
Examples: chewing, snacking, sucking, licking
2. Tactile input
Examples: finger tapping, using handheld fidgets, sensitivity to clothing, always using a specific blanket
3. Proprioceptive input
Examples: using the entire body- crashing into things, bouncing, climbing walls, jumping, stomping
4. Vestibular input
Examples: being upside down, swinging, spinning
5. Auditory input
Examples: watching tv or listening to music very loud, making repetitive noises, yelling or screaming
Now What?
So you’ve noticed your child engaging in sensory seeking behaviors, the question then becomes “now what”?
As a clinician, when I notice that a child is exhibiting sensory seeking tendencies, I make recommendations to clarify what needs the child has that are being expressed by these behaviors, including ensuring their diagnosis is clear and correct, and then I provide additional treatment recommendations. These recommendations may include getting in contact with the pediatrician/primary care physician, a possible referral to a neurologist, additional testing/assessments for diagnosis clarification, getting a referral for occupational therapy and/or physical therapy, and any other relevant additional services. In therapy we then work to increase the parent’s and child’s awareness of these behaviors, learn what need they are signaling, and learn to engage in positive, proactive coping and regulation. We practice these coping and regulation strategies so sensory seeking behaviors are less disruptive at home, school and work.
What do the parents do?
Parents should first and foremost understand that they have done nothing wrong and they have already done something invaluable and very important for their child by getting them help and support. Then parents can work with their provider to track these sensory seeking behaviors by asking, “what is this behavior telling us my child needs?” By tracking and understanding sensory seeking through this lens, your clinician can help you make a plan to meet your child’s needs at home and at school.
Having a child with ADHD and sensory needs is not easy, but the help and support is out there! We are here for you and we are here to make things easier for you and your child. They don’t have to go through life struggling and neither do you. It can get easier and it will.
Conclusion
ADHD and sensory-seeking behaviors often intersect, leading to added challenges in social interactions and classroom settings. However, with the right support, treatment, and accommodations, these sensory needs can be effectively managed. This not only helps the child navigate their daily life more comfortably but also fosters an environment conducive to their growth and development.
ADHD Resource Guide
We have created a custom list of our favorite resources for more information about ADHD including websites, books, and podcasts. Please see our guide below and bookmark this page so you can refer back to it anytime!
links:
www.chadd.org – Children and Adults with ADHD Support Group
www.parentsmedguide.org – Discussion of ADHD to include medications
www.myadhd.com – Online resource for literature about ADHD
www.addwarehouse.com – Online resource for literature about ADHD
Updated ADHD guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics
Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast by Nikki Kinzer
Parenting ADHD Podcast by Penny Williams
Practical ADHD Strategies Podcast by Laura Rolands
*Monarch Behavioral Health is not affiliated with any of the abovementioned resources
Battling Autumn Anxiety: 3 Ways to Maintain Your Summer Mental Wellness Glow
As the leaves start to fall, so too can our mood. Despite the increase in demands from work and school, we don’t have to let Autumn Anxiety take hold. Let’s work together in small and creative ways to hang on to the resilience and mental wellness we cultivated, so that our inner summer shines through the fall and into winter.
1. Stay Present Focused
The busy bustle of fall threatens to push us into anxiety. But each day this season brings us a bit of change and we can use this to stay present focused. When we notice a change, we can stay in the present and not get swept up by anxiety or expectations about the future and all there is to do. Take a moment to do a mindfulness sensory exercise. Take 30 seconds to fully concentrate on one sensory experience of fall. Will it be the crisp air, changing colors of leaves, the taste of cider donuts? Fully exist and experience this moment; notice your heart rate drop and your mind clear.
2. Support and Shift Executive Functioning
Moving into fall often means significant change and transitions. School starts, workloads often increase, schedules change, routines are structured differently; it’s a lot all at once. When we have to hold more in our minds and coordinate more, stress, anxiety and low mood can creep in. But what if we invest time in creating better support for ourselves? Executive Functioning strategies can be a game changer in reducing stress. Also, what if we shift some of this burden to others, enabling them to function more independently?
What tasks are burdening you that others could be doing? Imagine NOT doing those things 30 days from now. If you find you are carrying a heavy mental load of others’ executive functioning (i.e. organizing, planning, gathering supplies/materials, strategizing, scheduling), it’s time to shift. We serve ourselves best by putting systems into place that increase others’ engagement and independence. While the initial planning and setting up of expectations or supports does take some time, and we have to be ok with mistakes and mess ups, the pay-off is beautiful and long-term. Setting up sustainable structures like visual schedules, laminated/reusable check lists, and nightly preparation routines can shift the executive functioning load. If you’re struggling to know where to start, MBH therapists can help identify how to shift these burdens and alleviate stress for the long haul.
3. New Fall Movement
Of all the health-related behaviors that affect our metal wellness positively, movement is at the top of the list. While we might be tempted to shift into sweater-ready, pumpkin spiced shut-ins, getting out and moving our bodies in the fall will stretch the resilience you built in the summer over into fall and winter. To keep yourself motivated and interested, what activities can you think of that you can only do in the fall? Are there certain outdoor markets that are fun to walk around? Hikes that are particularly beautiful in the fall?
As always, if you feel your mood shifting and Autumn Anxiety building, shoot us a text or give us a call. We can help you learn and practice mindfulness, shift the executive functioning load, and find creative ways to move through the season.
Summer Camp Shoutout: MBH Empowerment & Social Skills Infographics
Dr. Jessica, Anastasia and Rachel did an amazing job teaching our campers empowerment and social skills. Our campers were engaged, exited and energetic! It was so fun to see our staff work with your kids to integrate their creativity and kindness with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness skill building.
If you missed out, or your camper needs any reminders, our skill building infographics are below:
Super Social Summer Boys Group Infographic
5 Ways to Boost Summer Mental Health
We only get a couple months of warm weather and summer fun here in Michigan. Let’s make the best of these long summer days! Summer activities, routines, and events pose opportunities to build mental wellness – but we do have to be strategic. Here are 5 ways you can purposefully build and support mental wellness in your or your loved one’s lives this summer.
1. Power up Social Skills
Social skills are a major building block of resilience and success for kids and adults. Almost everyone can use some social skill building and summer is the perfect time to work on these strategies. Perhaps you or your child need help learning how to engage in successful introductions to new friends, asking others for help, setting appropriate boundaries, dealing with conflict, or either directing play/activities or going with the flow a bit more? Whatever might help increase confidence and success in social interactions, summertime is a great time to hone these skills.
Here’s how to do it – Make a small list of social skills to practice for the summer. Before a social interaction, identify one specific skill. Talk about the skill and role play the skill; ask when and how the skill might be used. After the social interaction, be sure to talk or journal about how it went. What went well? What could use improvement? What will you do differently next time?
Summer camps focused on building social skills are a great way to build these skills quickly and get professionally guided practice with other kids. If your child is entering grades 2nd through 5th grade, you can sign them up for the Boys Super Social Summer Camp. Girls entering 5th through 8th grade can sign up for the Girl Strong Empowerment camp, which focuses on empowering social skill development for middle schoolers.
2. Leverage Schedule Changes to Build Executive Functioning Skills
While it feels wonderful to be freed from the typical school year schedule, after a few days or weeks, kids often become bored and/or irritable, and parents can feel overwhelmed. Adults and kids who struggle with executive functioning may find schedule and routine changes especially difficult. Summer is an opportunity to develop and practice new executive functioning strategies. For instance, plotting out the daily and weekly schedule can help everyone in the household orient to changing routines and expectations. For families, this might include mapping out parent work schedules, who is on kid caretaking duty each day, and scheduled activities such as practices, social hangouts, and camps. However, be sure to mindfully schedule free time! Purposefully put it on the calendar so you or your child knows when a block of free time will occur, and we can look forward to and schedule something fun. If your child or teen continues to struggle with their summer schedule, completing daily routines, or getting stuck when faced with transitions, make the schedule visual – color code different types of activities and include pictures. It might seem silly to do for an older kid or teen – but being able to orient oneself to the day with a brief glance really helps regulate emotions and executive functioning.
3. Mindful (not mindless) Screen Time
As daily routines and schedules loosen up, screens often fill in the blanks. However, increased screen time is typically associated with decreased positive mood, increased anxiety, and increased irritability. Summer is a great time to facilitate insights and skills that increase screen time regulation – set a daily screen ‘allowance’, ask yourself or your kid how this allowance will be ‘spent’, and follow up by asking how it went or sitting down together to look at screen time on a tracking app. If you or your child has trouble conceptualizing their screen time allowance, make it visual – draw a circle or bar graph to represent the number of minutes that can be ‘spent’ on each app or game. To increase insight and motivation to self-regulate screen time, reflect on days in which you or your child used screens more; how do your/their bodies and brains feel? On days screens are used less; how do your/their bodies and brains feel? Kids and adults often both need help developing the ability to reflect on how screens actually make their brains and bodies feel and enacting effective regulation skills.
4. Focused Bonding
Sometimes the adventures we can have during summer are the perfect prescription for family or relationship closeness. Research shows that when families feel close and connected, including strong child-parent communication, bonding time with siblings and regular family mealtimes, kids and teens are less likely to experience depression. Relationship closeness built on shared experience also impacts adults’ mood and anxiety positively. However, the summer schedule can be overwhelming. One trick is to build in small, focused bursts of relationship focused time. This might look like an end of day 10-minute check in with purposeful physical contact, watching a short video clip that’s part of a series 3-4 times per week, or sharing meals together regularly. Building relationship routines that include regular, seemingly inconsequential time spent together, as well as larger adventures will help you and/or your child build resilience.
5. Address Mental Health Issues Now
Don’t wait for mental health issues to go away on their own. If emotional or behavioral difficulties last more than 2 weeks, it’s not a ‘phase’, get real support and guidance. Summer is a great time to start therapy, engage in a short-term treatment plan to build resilience, or engage in a camp supporting mental wellness. We encourage people to reach out before a crisis occurs, so that when difficult situations or events occur, you or your child already have coping strategies in place.
Spring Cleaning–Reset, Refocus, and Renew
After being cooped up inside for the long winter, there is a definite appeal to the idea of spring cleaning. Just as we long to shed the layers of heavy clothing, our belongings can start to weigh on us as well and we may feel the urge to declutter and strip down to basics in our surroundings.
Clutter & Mental Health
In fact, clutter can be a cause or a result of mental health distress. Several studies have shown the negative effects of clutter on our well-being, stress levels at work, and even our parenting (Dao & Ferrari, 2020; Roster et al, 2016; Thornock et al. 2013). When someone struggles with anxiety, depression or ADHD, it can be challenging to keep up with housework due to fatigue, difficulties concentrating, low motivation and other symptoms. Eventually, one’s physical spaces may reflect that inner turmoil and dysfunction.
Starting Small has Big Effect
Small spring-cleaning tasks can have a positive effect on your mental wellness. Cleaning your space can give you a sense of accomplishment as well as provide a calm, relaxing place to work or live. Starting small by tackling just one drawer or one closet can help keep things from feeling too overwhelming and can also motivate you to keep going. Give yourself time limits, like 15-minute blocks of work time, so small tasks don’t develop into full afternoon stress cleaning sessions.
Involve Others
As always, asking for help is encouraged! Get your partner or family members involved. A one-time professional house cleaning or an appointment with a professional organizer might be a thoughtful gift to yourself, a friend or loved one. If you have the financial means to hire a cleaning service, it can be a helpful way to outsource a task you dread and free up time for more meaningful spring-cleaning pursuits.
This can be a freeing time of year with opportunities to address our mental health in really effective and sustainable ways. Working in small, yet achievable ways to clean and organize our environment can have a measurable and lasting impact on our mental health.
References:
The Negative Side of Office Clutter: Impact on Work-Related Well-Being and Job Satisfaction Trina N. Dao and Joseph R. Ferrari, North American Journal of Psychology, 2020, Vol. 22, No. 3, 441-454.
The dark side of home: Assessing possession ‘clutter’ on subjective well-being, Catherine A. Roster, Joseph R. Ferrari, M. Peter Jurkat, Journal of Environmental Psychology, Volume 46, 2016, Pages 32-41, ISSN 0272-4944.
The Direct and Indirect Effects of Home Clutter on Parenting: Carly M. Thornock, Larry J. Nelson, Clyde C. Robinson, Craig H. Hart, Family Relations, 2013
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