Author: <span>Beth Church</span>

ADHD Anxiety By Beth Church 0 Comments

ADHD and Rejection: When Criticism Feels Crushing

Written by Sam Kroenig, BA, TLLP

When we talk about ADHD, we often hear a lot about hyperactivity and disorganization, but did you know there are important emotional components to ADHD as well? In fact, research suggests that up to 40% of children and 70% of adults with ADHD experience significant challenges with regulating emotions (Shaw et al., 2014). One topic within this discussion that is receiving growing attention is rejection sensitivity, often discussed its most intense form as rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) (Dodson, 2025). While rejection can hurt anyone, this blog aims to focus on the overwhelming distress many kids, teens, and adults feel in response to rejection, and how living with ADHD may contribute.

What is Meant by Rejection Sensitivity (and RSD)?

In psychology, rejection sensitivity describes a pattern of anxiously expecting rejection, reading uncertain social cues as criticism, and reacting strongly when rejection seems to occur (Downey & Feldman, 1996). In the ADHD community, you may often hear the term rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) used to describe the extreme, almost physical emotional pain that can happen in response to actual or perceived rejection, criticism, or a sense of having disappointed someone (Dodson, 2025; Cleveland Clinic, 2022).

This distress often involves black-and-white thinking about the source or content of the feedback, as well as sudden, intense feelings of shame, sadness, anger, or an urge to withdraw (Dodson, 2025). Rejection, whether real or perceived, can feel like a judgment of the whole person. For example, a child who is picked last in gym class might immediately assume and internalize, “I am not good enough,” while a young adult who receives routine feedback at work feels, “They’ve lost confidence in me.” 

Where Does This Sensitivity Come From?

To understand why rejection sensitivity is so common in ADHD, it helps to understand how the ADHD brain manages emotions alongside what it is like to grow up with ADHD. First, ADHD often comes with emotional dysregulation. Emotions happen fast and intensely, there is difficulty managing the intensity of feelings and how we respond to them, and it can take longer to recover after becoming upset (Rowney-Smith et al., 2026; Shaw et al., 2014). For some children, teens, and young adults with ADHD, emotions can build quickly and become difficult to settle, much like an emotional volume dial that turns up too fast and gets stuck (Cleveland Clinic, 2022; Shaw et al., 2014).

Additionally, brain wiring and past experiences can make rejection harder to shake with ADHD. Research from Babinski et al. (2019) found that youth with ADHD symptoms may overemphasize signs of peer exclusion while registering positive feedback less strongly. That is why a teen might read an unanswered text message as “They’re upset with me” and struggle to stop replaying it, even knowing their friend could simply be busy (Rowney-Smith et al., 2026; Ginapp et al., 2023). Similarly, because everyday ADHD behaviors like forgetfulness, zoning out, or speaking impulsively are often misunderstood, kids and adults face more frequent correction and exclusion (Beaton et al., 2022). Over time, they may protect themselves by hiding their feelings, over-accommodating others, or pulling away, which can offer short-term relief but at the cost of deeper connection (Rowney-Smith et al., 2026; CHADD, 2019). 

This cycle of intense emotions, more challenges with regulating, and more frequent negative feedback or exclusion can lead to a heightened sensitivity toward rejection. 

A Few Thoughts on How to Manage

  1. Acknowledge the feeling without judgment: Name the feeling with compassion. Remind yourself or your child that having a strong feeling does not mean something is wrong with you, and you can give yourself time before deciding what to do next.    
  2. Write the road map: Start tracking when these feelings come up so you can target your coping thoughts and skills. When and in what situations does rejection sensitivity tend to pop up? Do you feel rejection sensitivity more often around friends, over texts or social media, in the workplace, when with family? Tailoring our coping strategies and anticipating the feelings helps us reduce sensitivity and regulate faster. 
  3. Pause and regulate: Individuals with ADHD often need to regulate emotions with physical exertion and sensory input. A short walk, slow breathing/meditation, sensory activities like music or a shower,  and/or slowing down to write in a journal are some examples of how to calm and reset the nervous system, while also providing space to process the feelings brought up by real/perceived rejection
  4.  Reframe when you are ready: Similar to non-judgmentally approaching your feelings, once the initial hurt has eased, explore whether the experience has become a broader judgment about your worth or abilities. Additionally, try to identify any automatic/negative thoughts/phrases that play in your mind, and work to find alternative explanations. Doing this can help your brain not so easily fall into the negative thinking traps in the first place.

Practice Makes… Effective

Shifting gears when you are feeling the intense distress of rejection sensitivity can be really difficult and take a lot of practice. Oftentimes being guided by a professional to learn and practice these strategies is the most effective way to stop the rejection sensitivity cycle. Additionally, guiding a loved one or child through these strategies can be very challenging.  Be sure to reach out to the experts at Monarch Behavioral Health for more support if needed.

https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/ 

 

References

Babinski, D. E., Kujawa, A., Kessel, E. M., Arfer, K. B., & Klein, D. N. (2019). Sensitivity to Peer Feedback in Young Adolescents with Symptoms of ADHD: Examination of Neurophysiological and Self-Report Measures. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 47(4), 605–617. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-018-0470-2

Beaton, D. M., Sirois, F., & Milne, E. (2022). Experiences of criticism in adults with ADHD: A qualitative study. PLOS ONE, 17(2), e0263366. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0263366

Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. (2019, April 4). Rejection can be more painful with ADHD. ADHD Weekly. https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/rejection-can-more-painful-with-adhd/

Cleveland Clinic. (2022, August 30). Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD): Symptoms & treatment. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24099-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd

Dodson, W. W. (2025, May 9). New insights into rejection sensitive dysphoria. ADDitude. [https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd-emotional-dysregulation/]

Downey, G., & Feldman, S. I. (1996). Implications of rejection sensitivity for intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70(6), 1327–1343. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.70.6.1327

Ginapp, C. M., Greenberg, N. R., MacDonald-Gagnon, G., Angarita, G. A., Bold, K. W., & Potenza, M. N. (2023). “Dysregulated not deficit”: A qualitative study on symptomatology of ADHD in young adults. PLOS ONE, 18(10), e0292721. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0292721

Rowney-Smith, A., Sutton, B., Quadt, L., & Eccles, J. A. (2026). The lived experience of rejection sensitivity in ADHD – A qualitative exploration. PLOS One, 21(1), e0314669. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0314669

ADHD Child Wellness Women's Health By Beth Church 0 Comments

Girl ADHD: Why do girls often get diagnosed later or not at all?

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

When most people think of ADHD, the stereotype of a boy bouncing off the walls often pops into their mind. But this stereotype gets in the way of girls obtaining timely and full diagnoses. In fact, girls are half as likely to get an accurate diagnosis in childhood, and if they are diagnosed, they receive a diagnosis, on average, 7 years later than boys. The amount of growth and change that is missed during that window is mind boggling! So, let’s get to the tricky questions; why is girl ADHD overlooked so often and what can we do about it? 

Why ADHD Symptoms in Girls Are Often Overlooked

The squeaky wheel gets the… diagnosis. Kids and teens who exhibit more of the disruptive behavioral and emotional patterns associated with ADHD – like impulsive behaviors, hyperactivity, intense difficulty following directions and completing tasks, and emotional reactivity – are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD earlier in childhood. Honestly, this is because they are more likely to be causing frustration and ire among the adults in their lives. Kids and teens who have a more inattentive profile; who might have intense difficulties with regulating attention but look more ‘zoned out’, can’t keep track of tasks, dates and materials, and are turning intense emotional reactions inward are overlooked, often because they are not disruptive.

Common Signs of ADHD in Girls

One of the ways we can all do better in supporting neurodivergent girls is to amplify the girl ADHD profile. Although there are certainly ADHD girls who do present as hyperactive, it is less common. Additionally, hyperactive symptoms in girls look a bit different from boys; boys often exhibit physical hyperactivity while girls are more likely to be hyperverbal, or very talkative, rather than physically dysregulated. The ADHD girl tends to experience more inattentive symptoms, like ‘day dreaming’ or ‘zoning out’. They are having trouble sustaining attention and concentration, and this is often impacting learning, hearing directions and completing tasks, but doesn’t result in the outward hyperactive or disruptive behaviors. Instead ADHD girls are often quietly disorganized, forgetful, easily derailed or distracted from tasks or during conversations, they may hop from activity to activity, have trouble remembering steps in routines, and experience internal restlessness. Girls also tend to use their strengths to hide symptoms or compensate for the difficulties ADHD causes. This results in misdiagnosis and under-diagnosis.

The Long-Term Impact of Undiagnosed ADHD in Girls

Learning to mask and compensate for neurodevelopmental differences is exhausting and stressful! Resultantly, girls with ADHD are more likely to experience anxiety and mood troubles. Unfortunately, these anxiety and mood troubles are often seen as the primary issue, leaving ADHD unrecognized and untreated. 

What is especially tricky is that inattentive symptoms don’t really get better with age without intervention, so ADHD girls tend to struggle for a long time, often being told they just aren’t trying hard enough. The longer term impact of underdiagnosis is substantial; girls and women with ADHD may be at higher risk for additional negative outcomes such as anxiety, depression, eating disorder, suicidal thoughts, suicidal attempts, and even shorter life expectancy, compared to boys and men with ADHD. The long-term consequences of undiagnosed ADHD are well established and highlight why correct diagnosis and treatment are so important. 

How to Get an ADHD Evaluation for Yourself or Daughter

The first stop on the path to a correct diagnosis is often your primary provider or pediatrician. However, pediatricians and primary care providers report varying levels of confidence in diagnosing and managing ADHD. Their hands are often tied by the pressure to move through office visits quickly, and they do not have the means to test for ADHD beyond questionnaires. There is no one biological test for ADHD. Their reluctance to throw a diagnosis on neurodivergent symptoms is completely understandable; primary care physicians and pediatricians’ expertise covers such a wide range of knowledge and they refer out to specialists for many specific health and development related issues. In fact, many pediatricians report feeling that their training offered very limited training in developmental-behavioral pediatrics and psychiatry and readily refer out to psychologists for testing and treatment. So, while your first stop may be to discuss concerns with your primary care doctor or pediatrician, they will likely refer you to a specialist for evaluation and treatment. As you move through an evaluation for ADHD, it’s good to know what a complete diagnostic evaluation should include. For more information on full neurodiagnostic testing click here.

What to Expect From a Comprehensive ADHD Assessment

Because symptoms of ADHD overlap with anxiety, mood troubles, and other neurodivergent learning profiles and disorders, a full assessment is often warranted. It’s important that co-occurring differences or disorders are identified and treated alongside ADHD when present. This typically includes an hour long intake, review of medical and academic records, standardized measures of brain functioning across many areas of functioning as well as several types of standardized questionnaires. Testing should take several hours (4-6 hours, sometimes more) and should result in a lengthy report that explains all of the evaluation data as well as a clear path of recommendations.  

A word of caution; general screening measures are an ok place to start, but are often not a good measure of ADHD and co-occurring conditions and disorders. Gender differences among symptoms of ADHD is part of the reason general screenings and short questionnaires often just don’t cut it when it comes to getting an accurate diagnosis. 

No matter where you are in your or your loved one’s journey of diagnosis, we are here to help. We provide comprehensive evaluations that set individuals and families on the path of success with accurate diagnoses, as well as clear, evidence-based recommendations and follow up treatment.

For more information on neuropsychological testing at Monarch Behavioral health click the link here: https://www.mbh-mi.com/testing/general-information/

If you or a loved one are seeking general services, click the link to make an appointment:

Make an Appointment

ADHD Perimenopause Women's Health By Beth Church 0 Comments

All I Know is I Think I’m Losing My Mind: Is This Perimenopause, ADHD or Both?

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Earlier this year the U.S. Food and Drug Administration lifted warnings that had been on hormone therapy for menopause symptoms for over 2 decades. This has spurred a surge in visibility and discussion of perimenopause on social media, at primary care offices, and in women’s friend groups and families. What used to be a taboo topic is now (thankfully) being ushered into the light and talked about with more candor and less stigma.

“In the last 5 years or so we have increasingly heard women asking, “Is this perimenopause, ADHD or both – because I feel like I’m going crazy!” As women share their experiences and feel less alone in this season of life, they are asking more questions than ever about the cognitive and emotional impacts of perimenopause, why and how these symptoms look and sometimes feel so similar to neurocognitive disorders like ADHD, and what they can do about them. 

Symptoms in Common

Women are right! The drop in estrogen during perimenopause causes real effects in cognition and emotions, and many of the symptoms of ADHD and perimenopause look and feel very similar. Both ADHD and perimenopause can cause difficulties with memory, organization and planning, heightened emotional experience and responding, and restlessness. And although the cognitive fog, mood and anxiety challenges that often accompany perimenopause aren’t a direct symptom of ADHD, many individuals with ADHD experience these challenges as well, secondary to ADHD. Additionally, over half of individuals with ADHD report ongoing sleep troubles, and 40-80% of women in perimenopause also report sleep difficulties. That is a lot of overlapping symptoms and experiences!

There are important differences, however, in the symptom profiles of ADHD versus menopause. For instance, there are subtle but important differences in memory weaknesses. Memory difficulties with ADHD tend to be more around working memory and encoding new information and are most often evenly experienced across verbal and non-verbal tests. Perimenopause can also affect working memory and attention, but has a more specific impact on verbal memory and verbal fluency (e.g., remembering lists, names, recalling words). There are also differences in the onset and course of executive functioning, emotion regulation and sleep challenges seen in ADHD versus perimenopause.  

So, although the cognitive, emotional and executive functioning symptoms of ADHD and perimenopause overlap a great deal, with a good evaluation, you can gain clarity that puts you on a path to deal with either, or both, much more effectively. 

Women: Understudied and Underdiagnosed 

One aspect that makes women wonder, ‘is this perimenopause or has this just been ADHD all along’, is the fact that girls and women are far less likely to be accurately diagnosed with ADHD. In fact, 50 – 75% of girls and women with ADHD go undiagnosed or are misdiagnosed. Girls’ and women’s ADHD symptom profiles have historically been far less studied and are different than their male counterparts. Girls and women tend to exhibit more inattentive symptoms (versus attention-grabbing hyperactive behaviors), and are often mistakenly labeled as anxious, depressed, or ‘difficult/disordered’ personality patterns. Thus, the likelihood a girl with ADHD makes it through adulthood and into perimenopause without being accurately diagnosed is actually pretty high.

A woman who was not accurately diagnosed with ADHD in their childhood has likely been masking or compensating for their ADHD challenges with other strengths (e.g., high intelligence, impressive social skills, over-planning) for decades, is likely finding herself less likely to mask as she crosses the threshold into perimenopause. The added pressure that the hormone and brain changes associated with perimenopause put on women often outweigh their ability to compensate or mask. Many women are finding out in middle age that yes, it has been ADHD all along, and perimenopause and menopause is making it worse!  

Correct Diagnosis

The correct diagnosis is everything when it comes to managing ADHD or perimenopause, or both. The good news is that when we engage in standardized testing of executive functioning and memory, and complete an in depth neurodiagnostic interview, the profiles of ADHD alone, perimenopause alone and ADHD + perimenopause look different! This is incredibly helpful and important because accurate diagnosis puts us on the path to effective supports and treatment. Women with ADHD, menopause or both do not have to continue to mask symptoms and quietly suffer. 

Integrated Treatment

An integrated treatment approach in which a woman’s medical provider and mental health provider are working in concert is ideal. Many of the symptoms associated with perimenopause can be alleviated with an integration of medical care and evidence-based treatment like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and/ or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Additionally, CBT is the most effective treatment for ADHD by far – so for those experiencing both ADHD and perimenopause – CBT can be life changing. 

Empowering Girls and Women at all stages of life

At Monarch Behavioral Health we leverage our knowledge of well-conducted research to empower girls and women to get the care they need and deserve  throughout their lives. With accurate diagnoses and evidence-based care, girls and women can move through all stages and phases of life with a sense of pride and well-being. 

Make an appointment today: https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/

Children Therapy Mental Wellness Social Skills Teenage Therapy By Beth Church 0 Comments

Stop the Bullying Power Loop: 10 Ways to Take Back Control

Written by: Sarah Engels, MS, LLP

Whether you’re a kid, teen or adult you might leave interactions with some people and ask, ‘Did they just bully me?’

Whether it’s coming from peers, co-workers or family members, bullying doesn’t always look the way we expect. It can be obvious, like threats, name-calling, or physical aggression, or be quieter, like being deliberately left out, humiliated, or manipulated.

Whatever form it takes, bullying has immediate and long-term effects. Victims are far more likely to experience depression, anxiety, substance use problems and even suicidal thoughts. Because it’s often insidious and part of a larger pattern, it can feel impossible to combat.

If you have experienced bullying, you’re not alone; 20-30% of kids and teens say they have been bullied at school. You might think this decreases as we grow up, but about 30% of adults report feeling bullied at work! Diffusing the power of a bully is a life long skill we all need. 

If you or a loved one has experienced bullying, it’s not your fault. Understanding the bullying cycle can be the first step toward taking the power back. 

The Bullying Power Loop 

When you’re getting bullied it can feel like the same thing just keeps happening over and over, and you’re right! It’s a repeated, identifiable and describable cycle of behaviors and interactions that cause harm, intimidation, humiliation, or exclusion. Each time the bully cycles around these steps, they gain power and loop around to do it again. The better we get at describing each step in the cycle, the easier it is to take back our power.

A bully’s actions can look like:

Verbal: insults, teasing that goes too far, threats, or cruel comments

Physical: hitting, pushing, damaging belongings, or invading personal space

Social: excluding someone, spreading rumors, or turning others against someone

Relational: using friendship, approval, or rejection to control a person

Digital: harassment, humiliation, impersonation, or repeated abusive messages online

Psychological: intimidation, gaslighting, public embarrassment, or constant put-downs

Remember, not every conflict is bullying. People argue, misunderstand one another, or say things they regret. Bullying is different because it’s a pattern of behavior that repeats.

Why Do People Bully?

What’s up with bullies? Why are they doing this? Why is bullying so common in schools and workplaces? 

There isn’t one “type” of person who bullies, but there are common underlying factors that lead to bullying behaviors. Understanding these factors helps us break the bullying power loop.  

Bullies often want control; when a bully sees a difference in power, they often want to capitalize on it to gain more control. Why? Seeking control is our #1 coping strategy to deal with difficult emotions.

Bullies are typically experiencing inner turmoil; anxiety, depression, fragile sense of self-esteem, and insecurity in relationships. It might not look like it on the surface, but bullying patterns are actually a poor attempt at dealing with difficult emotions. Putting someone else down can give a temporary, false inflation of self-esteem and importance. But here’s the trick; it never lasts, which is why bullying is a pattern that repeats unless we use our responses to break the loop. 

And let’s not forget about social status. Bullies often feel their relationships or social standing is fragile, and are seeking constant reassurance that others value them and that they ‘belong’. Unfortunately sometimes the fastest way to get that reassurance is to be cruel; bullies find that this gets attention, laughter, or approval from others. 

Group dynamics also play a big role. People may join in because they don’t want to become the next target, or because they’re going along with the crowd. In those moments, the responsibility for the cruel behavior is diffused. It can feel less personal, and that can make it easier for people to ignore the harm they’re causing.

And sometimes, bullies are repeating what they’ve learned; if they have been bullied, witnessed bullying normalized or praised at home, work or school, it is much more likely they will use these patterns in an attempt to regulate their own emotions and gain control. 

Understanding these factors doesn’t mean the victim needs to help the bully or is responsible for the bully’s actions. But knowing about these factors helps us learn how to short circuit the bullying cycle.

How to Short Circuit the Bullying Cycle

There’s no single, right way to respond to a bully, and having multiple tools is key. What helps depends on your situation, your age, the environment, and most importantly, your safety. When someone repeatedly uses bullying tactics, it starts to feel like they have more power than they actually do. These strategies help you short circuit the bullying cycle and take back the power.

1. Start by trusting your experience

If something keeps happening and it leaves you feeling small, anxious, or unsafe, that matters. You don’t need to “prove” it’s bullying before you’re allowed to take it seriously.

It can help to ask yourself:

  • What keeps happening again and again? 
  • How do I feel before and after it happens?
  • Is there a pattern here?
  • Do I feel safe?
  • Who could support me with this?

2. Tell someone you trust

There’s a common idea that you should be able to handle bullying on your own. But that isn’t realistic or fair! Bullying thrives in secrecy. Bring it into the light to banish the bully.

This is one of the most important steps, even though it can feel difficult. For children, that might be a parent, teacher, school counselor, or another trusted adult. For adults, it might be a friend, manager, HR, or someone outside the situation who can think with you clearly. Sure, telling someone isn’t going to immediately solve the problem, but you will be less alone in the struggle and have added brain power for making a plan.

Try to be specific if you can when talking to someone:

Instead of: “Everyone is against me.”

Try: “This person has made repeated comments about me this week, excluded me from meetings, and sent me messages that felt threatening.”

Details can help others understand what’s really going on.

3. Shift to action mindset: you don’t have to “tough it out”

Sure, someone might have a bad day and be rude, but if you’ve noticed this is a part of a larger pattern, it’s time to take action. Identifying the action and making a plan helps take back the power and reduce distress.

Sometimes action may include assertive tactics listed below, but just as often it includes cutting the bully’s power off in different ways such as walking away, blocking them online, changing your routine, or asking for help. These actions aren’t weakness, they are self-protection.

If there’s any risk of physical harm, physical and psychological safety always comes first. You don’t need to confront someone to prove anything.

4. Don’t give them your self-worth 

A bully’s opinion of you is not a measure of who you are. Their insults may be loud, but that doesn’t make them true. When you notice yourself absorbing what they say, try reminding yourself: “That’s their behavior. It doesn’t define me.”

5. Set simple boundaries when it’s safe

Sometimes a short, calm response is enough:

  • “Don’t speak to me like that.”
  • “That’s unkind”
  • “That’s not okay.”
  • “Stop.”

You don’t need the perfect comeback. The goal is simply to name the boundary and step away. 

Importantly, role playing and practicing these simple boundary setting statements will increase the likelihood you or your loved one can use them when the time comes. 

6. Beat them at their own game

Look at Step 4 in the Bullying Cycle, the “Pay Off,’ and identify what the bully is getting out of this. Is it social status? Managing their own emotions? Control? Time to short circuit the cycle; if you have analyzed what they are getting out of bullying, you can be sure they don’t get it. That might mean you avoid being around them when certain other people are around to limit the social credit they get. Or, it might mean you use the ‘flip the script’ and ‘body language’ strategies below to reduce the attention or reaction they get. 

7. Starve them of attention

You might feel angry, embarrassed, or tempted to get even. Those feelings make sense. But you still get to decide what happens next. Taking a breath, walking away, blocking a message, or talking to someone you trust can put you back in the driver’s seat. Your ability to regulate your own emotions in the moment steals their power.

  • Starve their attention-seeking with your calm responding
  • If you feel you have to respond, use very short and boring phrases with little to no emotion, “sure”, “ok”, “yep”

8. Flip the bully script

Because bullying behavior is part of a predictable pattern, the bully is expecting you to react a certain way. Practice breaking the bully cycle by flipping the script: 

  • Agree and confuse: If they call you a nerd, you can say, “Yeah, I actually do study a lot,” and shrug. When you agree, they have nothing left to argue about.
  • Overwhelmed with indifference: Look at them and calmly say, “Are you done?” or “This is getting boring,” then look back at your phone or book.
  • Laugh it off: If you act like their insult was a silly joke, it can give them hints that their words did not hurt you

9. Use Your Body Language

Our words are just one way we communicate. Your body can speak louder than your words. Showing confidence tells the bully that you are not an easy target. 

To show confidence practice:

  • Stand tall: Keep your shoulders back and hold your head high.
  • Make eye contact: Look them right in the eye to show you are not afraid.
  • Keep your hands steady: Do not fidget, cross your arms tightly, or hide your hands in your pockets.

To show indifference practice: 

  • Confidently remove eye contact: Look past the bully to someone or something else to show them you aren’t paying attention to them
  • Shift positions: Turn your body away from them to indicate you are no longer paying attention
  • Calm/bored signals: Begin to do another purposeful task (e.g., organize materials, get something out of your bag, talk to someone else)

Again, practice makes it much more likely that you can use these strategies in difficult moments.

10. Put your energy somewhere that gives back

Bullying can take up a surprising amount of mental space. Spend some of that energy reconnecting with people who make you feel good about yourself, doing things you enjoy, or pursuing something that reminds you of your strengths. Your life is so much bigger than the person who is trying to make you feel small.

If it continues… Keep a record

If bullying is ongoing, especially at work, school, or online, it can help to keep a simple record of what’s happening. Bullying behavior can be subtle and when we do a good job of documenting its patterns it’s undeniable. When seeking support and intervention from schools, bosses, or human resources, it can speed up the process if there is a clear picture of the bullying cycle.

Dates, messages, screenshots, and brief notes can make patterns of bullying clearer over time. It can also help if you decide to report it.

The goal isn’t to become better at fighting a bully. It’s to become less controlled by one.

The Bigger Picture

Bullying tends to grow in environments where cruelty is normalized, silence is expected, and people are afraid to speak up. Preventing it isn’t just about telling individuals to be stronger. It’s about building spaces, schools, workplaces, families, online communities, where respect is expected and people feel safe to raise concerns.

And for all of us, it comes back to something simple but important: Someone else’s behavior does not define your worth.

You deserve relationships where you feel safe, respected, and able to be yourself without fear. 

Kids, teens, and adults who are experiencing bullying often need support in complex or chronic bullying situations. Being the victim of bullying can really ramp up anxiety and drive down mood and self-esteem. Even after the bullying stops, victims often need support through recovery. And here’s the kicker; bullies usually need help too. Their behaviors can stem from learned aggressive behaviors and deep personal insecurity. 

If you or a loved one is currently or have experienced bullying, do not hesitate to make an appointment today.

https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/ 

Mental Wellness Parenting School Services Stress Uncategorized • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Back to School, Not Back to Burnout: 3 Ways to Protect Family Time & Mental Health this Fall

Written by Alyssa Hedke, MA, LLP

It’s hard to believe summer is coming to a close. Most of us have purchased the backpacks, pencil boxes, water bottles, and all of the adorable notebooks and folders for the upcoming school year. Along with getting all of the school supplies ready, we find ourselves already filling our calendars with extracurricular activities through the end of the year. (I found myself already thinking about Christmas gifts last week. Too soon?)

But between increased work schedules, sports, music lessons, tutors, clubs, and homework, the free time we had over the summer can narrow drastically. It can feel as if every evening is already spoken for before we have even begun the school year.

So, how do we, as parents, balance it all and make sure our children have time for school, opportunities to participate in activities, family connection, and downtime without becoming overbooked and exhausted before the school year has even started?

Let’s talk about a few practical ways to prevent overbooking your family this fall.

Make Room for Downtime

It’s hard to describe the intangible joy of watching your child discover their interests and passions and become excited to actively pursue them. Extracurricular activities provide so many benefits for children across all ages – giving opportunities to develop social-emotional skills and learn important values such as teamwork, responsibility, and community. Extracurricular activities can also support children’s overall mental health and well-being by providing a healthy outlet for stress, creating a sense of belonging and identity, and giving children the opportunity to discover something they enjoy and feel successful doing.

But when does it become too much? When does an activity that is meant to be a healthy outlet for stress become another source of stress because of the demands and expectations placed on our children? The burnout overscheduling creates can creep up slowly through the fall and winter, but we can be proactive in preventing this overwhelm.

One of the most important ways we can help prevent this is by intentionally scheduling downtime.

Downtime is just as important as structured activities. Unstructured, non-screen time play and exploration allows kids and teens to recover from a school day full of demands and expectations. It encourages creativity and problem-solving while giving children time to emotionally regulate, recharge, reconnect and feel comfortable in the safety of their own home. When children have adequate downtime, we may also see less conflict at home and more opportunities for meaningful family connection.

When planning your weekly schedule, schedule downtime as non-negotiable ‘recovery blocks’.  These open spaces allow for spontaneous playtime, family outings, or simply an evening at home. Instead of feeling like everyone is rushing from one activity to the next because they have somewhere else to be, downtime gives families the opportunity to slow down and reconnect.

Before you decide to add another activity to your child’s schedule, take a moment to ask yourself:

  • Will we still have enough time to regularly connect as a family?
  • Does this schedule protect important routines, such as mealtimes and bedtime?
  • Will my child still have enough time for homework, rest, and unstructured play?
  • Are we adding this activity because my child genuinely enjoys it, or because we feel like we should?

Watch for Signs of Burnout

Most of the time, our children will not come to us and say, “I’m burned out from my busy schedule.” Instead, they communicate with us through their moods, behaviors, and physical symptoms.

Be mindful if your child begins exhibiting these signs as the school year progresses:

  • Increased irritability or emotional outbursts
  • Control seeking – looks like oppositional behavior
  • Persistent fatigue or frequently feeling tired
  • Loss of interest in activities, hobbies, or things they previously enjoyed
  • Difficulty concentrating or staying focused
  • Changes in sleep — sleeping much more or less than usual, difficulty falling asleep, or feeling exhausted despite getting enough sleep
  • Changes in appetite — eating more or less than usual
  • Avoidance or withdrawal — wanting to stay home, avoiding activities, or pulling away from friends and family
  • A decline in academic performance
  • Perfectionism or increased anxiety — feeling like they are never doing enough or becoming excessively worried about school, sports, or activities
  • Frequent physical complaints — headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension, or feeling sick without an obvious physical cause
  • Feeling overwhelmed — becoming distressed by tasks or schedules they previously handled well
  • Negative self-talk — making statements such as, “I can’t do this,” or “I’m not good enough”

An important distinction is that children and teens can have a busy week, feel tired, and occasionally experience one or two of these symptoms. Burnout becomes more concerning when these symptoms are persistent over time, interfere with daily functioning, and feel different from your child’s typical behavior.

Find Pockets of Family Connection

Let’s face it — sometimes overscheduling is still going to happen.

If your family finds themselves spending a season of life running in different directions and spending less time together, look for small pockets of connection and make the most of them. Connection does not always require large amounts of time; often, it is the small, intentional moments that matter most.

  • Use daily car rides as opportunities to reconnect by putting phones away and having meaningful conversations. 
  • Turn on some family karaoke and create moments of laughter together. 
  • If you have older children, consider creating a family group chat where everyone can share pictures or small moments from their day to stay connected.
  • Create weekly family dinners that are non-negotiable — even if the table occasionally has a few extra place settings for friends. 
  • Plan monthly family outings or traditions that give everyone something to look forward to.

The bottom line is to be intentional. When we thoughtfully plan these small pockets of connection, they become regular routines woven into our daily lives and, over time, become part of our family culture.

Here to Help

Even though summer is coming to a close, I hope your family finds time to slow down, soak up the last bits of summer sunshine, and enjoy the moments before the busy school year begins. If you or your family need support navigating stress, transitions, or the challenges that come with a new school year, reach out to us at Monarch Behavioral Health. We are here to help your family start the school year feeling supported, connected, and ready for what comes next.

https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/ 

Advocacy Mental Wellness Therapy • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Minority Mental Health Month: 4 Simple Ways to Support Yours and Others’ Mental Wellness

Written by: Bismah Khan, MA, LLP

July is Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to really think about and recognize the unique mental health challenges that BIPOC and other minority communities face. If you’re wondering how you can help support minority mental health in your community, here are some easy ways to get started:

Talk About Mental Health

Just having real conversations about mental health can go a long way to break the stigma. Whether you’re chatting with friends, family, or at a community event, being open and honest helps create space for meaningful dialogue. Don’t be afraid to ask people how you can support them and listen without judgment. There is no shame or weakness in asking for help – in asking for help, we allow others to feel safe asking for help too. Another great way to stay connected is to take part in local groups which focus on creating voices for minority groups. Nowadays, many of these groups take place online so you can join even when on the go. 

Find Little Joys Every Day

Joy isn’t just something you earn after hard work but something you deserve every day. Try to bring joy into your routine by dancing to your favorite song, cooking food that reminds you of home, or picking up a creative hobby. These little things can help you recharge, beat burnout, and feel more connected to who you are. They can also help you feel connected to your culture and further strengthen your identity. 

Look for Culturally Competent Care

Finding a psychotherapist who understands your background can make a huge difference. It’s not your job to teach them about your culture but sharing what’s important to you can help guide their therapeutic approach. This doesn’t mean your therapist necessarily has to be from your ethnic or cultural background. However, your therapist should value different experiences and always be willing to learn more about where you’re coming from. Don’t be afraid to ask your psychotherapist these important questions to make sure they are the best fit for you!

Don’t Forget to Rest

A lot of people from marginalized communities feel like they have to keep going non-stop, but rest isn’t a privilege, it’s a basic right. Stress, trauma, and pressure to always push ahead can take a toll. Give yourself permission to take breaks, say no when you need to, take a walk without your phone, or just unplug from the news for a while. Rest can also mean spending time with those that make us feel heard and understood. 

Conclusion

Remember, supporting mental health, especially in minority communities, isn’t something that only happens in July. Every step counts and it can start with simple choices you make each day. Whether you’re reaching out to check on a friend, advocating for better mental health resources, or simply caring for yourself, these actions accumulate and help build stronger, more compassionate communities all year long. And remember, while we have come a long way, it does not stop here. Continue to talk, advocate, and support.

If you or a loved one are seeking services, do not hesitate to reach out today.

Make an Appointment

Men's Health Mental Wellness Parenting • • • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

When Dads Struggle Too: Understanding Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders in Fathers

Written by: Jessi Beatty, PhD, LP

We are often socialized to think of men as providers of support during the perinatal period, but it’s rarely mentioned that men can experience many of the same difficulties with the transition to parenthood as women. Men are often taught to ‘be strong’, and these subtle and not-so-subtle messages can lead to increased shame, guilt, or embarrassment if they are struggling with becoming a father. Therefore, dads may be less likely to admit when they are struggling or to seek help. 

The Numbers May Surprise You

In fact, around 10% of dads experience postpartum depression and more recent studies have shown that as many as 22% of new dads experience an anxiety disorder. This number often increases significantly when their partner is also experiencing perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD) or if the father has previously experienced mood difficulties. 

Why Fathers Are Also at Risk

The changes dads go through as they adjust to parenthood are often overlooked. Men experience social and physical changes that impact their mental health a great deal. For instance, shifting schedules can lead to sleep deprivation or changes in circadian rhythms that put men at increased risk for PMAD as well. The increased stress of becoming a parent, lack of social support for new fathers or feeling excluded from mother-infant bonding may also increase the risk for men to experience PMAD. Men often feel they can’t talk about how difficult these changes are, which can lead to further isolation.

Did You Know… Men’s Hormones Change Too!

We often focus on the wild ride women’s hormones take during the perinatal period, but did you know men’s hormones change too. Men experience changes in their hormones during the perinatal period designed to promote parenting behaviors and strengthen the dad’s attachment to the new baby. Research has shown that testosterone decreases, and estrogen, cortisol, vasopressin, and prolactin increase during the perinatal period to prepare dads for the transition to parenthood.  Decreases in testosterone have been linked to depression symptoms in men, and if men have lower than expected levels of estrogen, vasopressin, or prolactin it can result in more difficulty bonding. 

Symptoms You Shouldn’t Ignore

Dads who are struggling with significant changes in their mood are not to blame and help is available. Consider reaching out for help if you are experiencing:

  • increased tiredness, headaches and pain
  • irritability, sadness, anxiety and/or anger
  • loss of interest in activities
  • changes in appetite
  • feelings of being overwhelmed, out of control and unable to cope
  • a tendency to take increased risks
  • changes to sleep patterns, especially a lack of sleep
  • feelings of isolation and disconnection from partner, friends or family
  • loss of libido
  • increased hours of work as a part of the withdrawal from family
  • increased use of drugs or alcohol instead of seeking treatment for PMAD

Have No Fear, Help is Here

The good news is that help is available for new dads experiencing any of the difficulties described. What works best is different for everyone, but it’s generally recommended to increase social support, find ways to improve instrumental support to keep your own self-care intact, seek support groups of other dads in the transition to fatherhood, and work with a counselor or therapist who understands perinatal mental health disorders. 

The transition to parenthood forces the old patterns and routines to change, but figuring out ways to stay connected and take care of yourself is so worth it and important. If that transition feels especially hard there are several research backed treatments that can help improve your mood, learn the skills to cope more effectively during this transition, and build the relationship with your child(ren) and partner that you want and deserve.

Scarff JR. Postpartum Depression in Men. Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience. 2019 May 1;16(5-6):11-14. PMID: 31440396; PMCID: PMC6659987.

Kim P, Swain JE. Sad dads: paternal postpartum depression. Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2007 Feb;4(2):35-47. PMID: 20805898; PMCID: PMC2922346.

 

Resources for Fathers:

Postpartum Support International: https://postpartum.net/get-help/help-for-dads/

International Father’s Mental Health Day June 2026 (have not updated website from 2025 as of 4/13/26 but still good videos and information): https://www.postpartum.net/join-us/ifmhd/

https://www.ifmhd.org/resources-and-information

Marce of North America: https://marcenortham.com/fathers-mental-health-resources

City Dads Group (there is a Detroit chapter): https://citydadsgroup.com/

(based in the UK but helpful books and other articles for more information) https://andrewmayers.uk/fathers-mental-health

https://www.pinerest.org/media/Understanding-PMAD.pdf

For LGBTQIA+ Fathers: 

Resources for your partner (focused on motherhood):

Pine Rest Mother and Baby Day Program: https://www.pinerest.org/day-programs/mother-baby-program/

University of Michigan Women and Infants Mental Health Program: https://medicine.umich.edu/dept/psychiatry/programs/women-infants-mental-health

https://zerotothrive.org/clinical-services/perinatal-psychiatry-clinic/

Depression Mental Wellness Therapy Women's Health • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Understanding PMDD: Shedding Light on a Hidden Struggle

Written by: Sarah Engels, MS, TLLP

For many, the days leading up to their period can be a little tougher– mood swings, irritability, or fatigue are common symptoms. But for those living with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), these symptoms are far more intense and can disrupt daily life, relationships, and work. PMDD is more than just a “bad period,” or PMS. PMDD is a serious, hormone-related condition that affects mental, emotional, and physical health. 

How is PMDD different from a normal period?

PMDD is a much more severe version of PMS (premenstrual syndrome). PMDD is a health condition that affects people of child bearing age and requires attention and treatment. Key differences between PMDD and PMS are summarized in the following chart:

Feature PMS PMDD
Severity Mild-Moderate, manageable Severe, often debilitating
Mood Irritability, mild mood swings Extreme irritability, anger, and intense anxiety/depression
Physical symptoms Bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, etc. Higher intensity of normal PMS physical symptoms
Functioning Mild to moderate impact on daily functioning Significant impairment to life, work, and relationships
Prevalence Very common (around 90% of women report symptoms) Less common (around 3% -8% of women report PMDD)
Treatment Self-care, over the counter remedies May require medical intervention (e.g., CBT, SSRIs)

How can I tell if I have PMDD and how is it diagnosed? 

Typically, symptoms of PMDD start around 1 week before your period starts, and end a few days in. They disrupt daily activities and can impact home, work, and relationships at this time. The difference in mood and functioning is notably different than other times during the month. 

The following are common symptoms of PMDD: 

  • Depressed mood, hopelessness, or feelings of worthlessness
  • Increased anxiety, tension, or feeling on edge
  • Mood swings
  • Sensitivity to rejection
  • Frequent/sudden tearfulness
  • Increased irritability
  • Increased relationship conflicts
  • Difficulties concentrating
  • Changes in sleep (excessive sleep or difficulty sleeping)
  • Changes in appetite (lack of appetite or overeating)
  • Physical symptoms like breast tenderness, headaches, joint/muscle aches, weight gain, or bloating

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, reach out to a medical professional. It is likely that your provider will ask you to keep a diary or journal of symptoms, coinciding with your menstrual cycle to differentiate between PMDD and other disorders with similar symptoms such as depression or anxiety. 

Living life with PMDD: treatment approaches and more

PMDD is a serious and chronic condition. However living with PMDD can be manageable with appropriate care and treatment. Lifestyle changes, therapy and medication can decrease symptoms of PMDD. A combination of the following approaches can be pivotal in symptom reduction: 

  • Changes in diet, such as; decreasing sugar, salt, caffeine, and alcohol, and increasing protein and carbohydrates
  • Getting regular exercise
  • Practicing stress management, like mindfulness and relaxation techniques
  • Therapies such as CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)
  • Vitamin supplements, like magnesium or calcium
  • SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors)
  • Birth control pills

Conclusion

May is Women’s Mental Health Month, and in turn, we draw attention to the unique challenges that women face and their impacts on mental health. PMDD is often a hidden struggle for many women, dealing with the stigmas surrounding women’s health, both physical and mental. But you and your loved ones are not alone. If you believe that you or a loved one is experiencing symptoms of PMDD, do not hesitate to make an appointment with a clinician at Monarch Behavioral Health to discuss your concerns and make a plan for treatment and support. 

Make an appointment at Monarch Behavioral Health: https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/ 

Further resources:

 

ADHD Autism Individual Treatment Mental Wellness Testing Uncategorized • • • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Labeling Neurodivergence: Helpful or Harmful? An Empowering Perspective

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

When it comes to mental health, few topics spark as much curiosity—and confusion—as neurodivergence. One of the biggest questions people ask is: Are labels like autism, ADHD, or OCD helpful… or do they do more harm than good?

What is Neurodivergence?

Neurodivergence is a term used to describe differences in brain development that naturally occur – this includes a wide range of differences in how people think, learn, process information, communicate, and experience the world. People who are neurodivergent may have brains that function differently from what’s considered “typical” (sometimes called neurotypical). Instead of viewing these differences as problems to be “fixed,” neurodivergence recognizes them as variations with inherent strengths. Neurodivergent diagnoses include a wide range of profiles, including ADHD, OCD, communication and sensory processing differences, learning disabilities and – importantly – autism. In fact, autism is one of the most well-known forms of neurodivergence. 

To Label or Not To Label…

Imagine trying to grab a can of soup from your pantry… but all the labels are missing. You might guess what’s inside—but you won’t really know until you open it. 

That’s exactly what navigating neurodivergence can feel like without a diagnosis.

Labels like autism or ADHD help us:

  • Clearly understand what’s going on internally
  • Identify both strengths and challenges
  • Find the right tools, supports, and environments
  • Build a sense of positive identity and self-understanding

Instead of limiting people, the right label can be empowering. It gives language to experiences that may have felt confusing or isolating.

And of course, sometimes we need a valid diagnosis to access the correct resources at work, school or in healthcare settings. For instance, insurance rarely covers treatments for autism without a valid diagnosis, provided by a credentialed clinician. Many physicians won’t prescribe medication for executive functioning disorders, like ADHD, without a full assessment and diagnosis. Sometimes labels are necessary to get what we need. 

But Labels Don’t Tell the Most Important Information

A correct and clear diagnostic label can only go so far, because of course neurodivergence is a heck of a lot more complex than a can of soup! An accurate label helps in communicating with professionals and getting services, but it doesn’t tell us much about the individual. And understanding someone’s experience in neurodivergence is all about understanding the individual. The communication, cognitive, social, emotional and behavioral patterns typical of neurodivergence all exist on spectrums. If you were to map each of these experiences and characteristics on a 3D model, with each represented on a spectrum that juts out from the center, each neurodivergent individuals’ profile would take a unique shape and dimension. The beauty of neurodiversity is seen in these unique profiles and experiences, this uniqueness is not communicated in a simple label. 

So… Are Labels Helpful or Harmful?

The answer is: they can be both—but they’re most powerful when used the right way.

Labels are helpful because they:

✔ Provide clarity and understanding
✔ Unlock access to services and support
✔ Empower identity and self-advocacy

Labels are limited because they:

✖ Don’t capture individuality
✖ Can oversimplify complex experiences
✖ May lead to assumptions if misunderstood

The Bottom Line

Labels aren’t the destination—they’re the starting point. Although diagnoses are important and useful, if we focus too narrowly on the label we are missing the big, beautiful picture, and opportunities to support neurodivergent individuals to live at full potential. At Monarch Behavioral Health we ensure accurate diagnoses are empowering and jumping off point, leading to individualized paths of success and growth.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you or someone you love is wondering whether neurodivergence may be part of their story, professional evaluation can provide clarity and direction.

With the right support, insight, and tools, every individual can build a path toward confidence, growth, and well-being.

Because everyone deserves to be understood—not just labeled.

Click here to contact us: https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/