Author: <span>Beth Church</span>

Child Wellness Family Therapy Mental Wellness Relationships By Beth Church 0 Comments

Shared Childhoods and Lasting Bonds: The Importance of Sibling Closeness

Written by: Jessi Beatty, PhD, LP

Children who have supportive relationships with siblings tend to do better in school, build better relationships with peers, and learn to resolve disagreements better. Close sibling relationships can be an important buffer against the negative effects of difficult circumstances, build empathy, and help children learn to accept other people’s differences. Close siblings enjoy each other and have fun together, they celebrate each other’s accomplishments, are protective and loyal toward each other, which helps build confidence and fosters more happiness.  

Not all Conflict is Bad

However, close relationships do not mean that siblings always get along.  Some conflicts and disagreements between siblings are normal and can be helpful in building important relationship skills.  This allows kids to learn problem solving skills and how to work out issues with people you live with, care about, and spend a lot of time together. These skills help prepare them for future relationships and can build closeness when the conflict has a positive resolution and is balanced with other warm and positive interactions. Healthy competition generally results in bonding and feelings of closeness after. This allows kids to practice setting and following other people’s boundaries. As long as competitions don’t lead to degrading, demeaning or aggressive behaviors, it teaches important skills that will help children foster stronger relationships with others. 

How to Improve their Connection

The weather lately has meant a lot of snow days off of school. That means a lot more time together than normal. Here are some suggestions on ways to foster more positive interactions amongst your children

1. Make sure they are spending time in the same room together

They don’t have to be doing the same thing together but helping them to have positive experiences in the presence of each other helps build the expectation that they will have an enjoyable time with each other. Plus, they can observe and learn from each other when they are engaged in different activities

2. Plan activities that foster play, silliness and cooperation

  • Make family game night cooperative games like Pictionary, or have it be kids against parents where they must work together to win
  • Give them walkie talkies and have them pretend to solve a mystery as detectives
  • Create a treasure hunt for them to work together to find the clues
  • Go on funny animal walks where they take turns calling out the animal
  • Reading to each other their favorite book
  • Dancing to their favorite songs
  • Have them work to draw funny characters – divide the paper into a top, middle and bottom and each sibling gets to draw a different character that they can then make silly versions of by looking at different tops, middles and bottoms
  • Pretend the floor is lava or work together to keep the balloon in the air

3. Praise what’s going right

Look for moments when they are helping each other, sharing, taking turns, or working together and praise their actions. The more attention you give to actions you want, the more you will see the behavior. 

4. Build in acts of kindness for each other

The holidays might be over, but the time for kindness is never done. Helping siblings work together to do something nice for family members or neighbors, spending time with each sibling helping them pick out something special for each other or cheering family members on during their after-school activities are all great ways to promote the importance of being kind. Additionally, it helps build positive memories, compassion and care for each other.

Conclusion:

Sibling relationships are one of the longest lasting relationships of a persons life. It is important to cultivate a positive and supportive relationship from a young age, and that starts with encouraging compassion, fun, and care within the household. Want to read more on the subject? Check out Raising Loving Siblings by Jonathan Caspi, PhD, Guilford Press, 2025.

Holidays Mental Wellness Relationships Self-care Uncategorized • • • • • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Home for the Holidays: 5 Ways to Navigate Holiday Family Dynamics and Fuel Your Inner Peace

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

As much as we love the holiday season, it’s also a time of heightened stress—one that can amplify long-standing family patterns and dynamics. The holidays are different from most other times of year because we often placate and compromise more during interactions just to get through the event. We may tolerate behaviors or slip into family roles we wouldn’t otherwise accept.

While compromise has its place, creating positive family memories shouldn’t come at the expense of our emotional wellbeing. Here are five ways to protect yourself from emotional burnout while celebrating with family this holiday season.

What Role Are You Cast In?

When we step back into family and friend circles during the holidays, familiar patterns of interaction and communication often resurface. These dynamics can pull us back into roles we may have long forgotten—or already outgrown. Roles like The Peacemaker, The Jokester, Mom’s Favorite, or The Black Sheep are shaped over time and influence how we feel about ourselves and others.

Each family role also comes with its own emotional weight, sometimes stirring up intense feelings like anger, anxiety, or abandonment. One helpful thing to remember is that every role serves a purpose within the family system. When you can reflect on the role (or roles) you tend to occupy and increase awareness of the function it plays, you’re less likely to be unintentionally pulled back into it—and into its emotional aftermath.

Don’t Fight the Feeling

Resurfacing family roles and patterns can trigger some of our most intense emotional experiences. During the holidays, we often try to compartmentalize or push emotions aside just to get through gatherings. But emotions have a way of sneaking out anyway—often through less adaptive behaviors like sarcasm, overindulgence, social withdrawal, or internalized sadness, anxiety, or anger. Over time, these outlets contribute to emotional burnout.

Instead of suppressing emotions, try noticing them. Pay attention to how a particular person or interaction makes you feel, and give that feeling a bit of breathing room. What might it be telling you—to back off, reduce contact, speak up for yourself, or seek support elsewhere? Even if you don’t act on the emotion, acknowledging it helps release internal pressure and lowers your emotional temperature.

Write New Endings to Old Stories

Do interactions with certain family members always seem to end the same way? If your answer is a resounding yes, here’s the good news: you have more control than it might feel like.

Identify the familiar “story arc”—the beginning, middle, and typical ending of the interaction. Then imagine a few alternative endings that would feel more supportive or aligned with your needs. For example, instead of an ending marked by escalation or shutdown, you might choose one where you express yourself directly and respectfully, or one where you take space before emotions run too high.

When you notice yourself entering a familiar rerun, you can consciously turn the page and choose a different ending.

Boundaries Are the Perfect Gift to Give

One of the most effective ways to step out of well-worn family roles and change interaction patterns is through clear boundaries. Practice stating boundaries using simple, direct language:

  • “I’ll be leaving at 9:00 pm.” 
  • “Please don’t speak to me that way.” 
  • “That’s not something I want to talk about.” 

Notice that each of these is an “I” statement. Focusing on what you will or won’t do—rather than trying to manage someone else’s behavior—makes boundaries far more effective and less dependent on others’ reactions. Truly, boundaries are the gift that keeps on giving.

Beware of the Shame and Guilt Trap

Some family members may respond to boundaries by attempting to induce guilt or shame. Don’t fall for it. You are allowed to have physical and emotional needs.

Expressing what you want or need gives others the opportunity to respect you and, in some cases, strengthen the relationship. If someone isn’t able—or willing—to make space for your needs, remind yourself that your wellbeing still matters. Taking emotional or physical space can be an act of self-respect, not selfishness.

Conclusion

As the holidays unfold, remember that you don’t have to show up perfectly—you just have to show up honestly. Family dynamics are deeply wired, and noticing them without judgment is already meaningful work. Each moment of awareness, each boundary you honor, and each pause you take to care for yourself is a step toward creating holidays that feel more peaceful and more authentic. 

 

Happy Holidays from all of us at Monarch Behavioral Health 

Make an appointment today! https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/

Mental Wellness Self-care Stress Uncategorized • • • • • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Fuel Your Fire: Prevent and Recover from Burnout Using Emotional Intelligence and Self-Compassion

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Burnout isn’t just “being tired.” It’s a full-body, full-mind experience that can drain your energy, dull your motivation, and make even the work you once loved feel overwhelming. In fact, between 30–75% of people worldwide report experiencing burnout at some point. If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Am I just exhausted, or am I burning out?” — you’re not alone.

What Exactly Is Burnout?

Burnout is more than stress. It’s a recognized syndrome caused by chronic stress associated with a particular role (e.g., job, caregiving)  that isn’t successfully managed. It typically shows up in three dimensions:

  • Exhaustion – feeling drained, depleted, and unable to recharge.

  • Depersonalization – becoming detached, cynical, or negative about your work.

  • Reduced Accomplishment – feeling ineffective, unmotivated, or like you’re failing.

Left unchecked, burnout impacts not only your work, but your physical health, relationships, and overall wellbeing.

Spotting the Warning Signs

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It sneaks up on us through gradual signs:

  • Physical: disrupted sleep, low energy, changes in appetite, unexplained aches/pains.

  • Behavioral: procrastination, reduced productivity and efficiency, withdrawal from responsibilities.

  • Emotional/Mental: irritability, cynicism, brain fog, emotional exhaustion.

Noticing these signals early is key to preventing burnout from taking over.

Why Do We Burn Out?

The causes often come from two sides:

  • Work Factors: overwhelming workload, lack of values match with job or role, lack of control, unfair treatment, low rewards, and/or disconnection from community, distressing work tasks
  • Self Factors: tying self-worth to productivity and work identity, valuing self-sacrifice as a personal ideal, self-blame and low self-empathy, and/or struggling to balance other roles and responsibilities in life.

Interestingly, those who care the most — helpers, teachers, healthcare providers, parents, and leaders — are at highest risk for burnout.

Fighting Back: Emotional Intelligence as Your GPS

Emotions are not the enemy. In fact, they act like an internal GPS guiding us toward what we need. By practicing emotional intelligence (EI), you can learn to:

  1. Recognize and label your emotions accurately. We only have 6-8 basic emotions! Sure, we have thousands of descriptions for subtle differences in each emotion, but if we can label the core emotion accurately, this is very powerful.

  2. Understand how emotions link to motivation and action. Each of our basic emotion states links to specific motivational states and behaviors. For example, happiness links to a desire to keep doing the thing that is making us happy. Sadness links to rest, recouping the loss and connecting to others. As you learn emotion-motivation-action linking, emotions are far less overwhelming.

  3. Use emotions as guideposts for action and direction. Putting all the information together, we can make an action plan that points us in the direction of getting our actual needs and wants met in a healthy way – whether that means resting, seeking support, or setting boundaries.

When you tune into your emotions, they stop being roadblocks and start being signals that point you back toward balance.

The Secret Weapon: Mindful Self-Compassion

One of the most powerful antidotes to burnout is treating yourself with the same compassion you give to others. This means:

  • Permission: Allow yourself to feel and acknowledge your limits. Allow yourself to be as kind to YOU as you are to others.

  • Mindfulness: Practice being fully present without judgment or distraction. Daily sensory mindfulness practices are a great way to cultivate this ability. .

  • Common Humanity: Remember, burnout is a shared human experience, not a personal failing. We are all flawed and we all make mistakes.

  • Self-Compassion: Replace harsh self-criticism with care, understanding, and patience. Notice self-critical thoughts. Imagine your friend was saying these things about themself. How would you respond to that friend – now turn that empathy and compassion inward. 

Simple daily practices — like repeating a mantra (“My work is important, and so am I”), mindful breathing, or noticing and reframing negative self-talk — can help you rebuild resilience.

Creating Your Burnout Recovery Plan

Recovering from burnout isn’t about powering through — it’s about addressing work and self factors, so you can realign your approach to work with your values and daily capacity. A strong recovery plan includes:

  • Addressing workplace factors with a practical, solution-focused approach.

  • Building emotional intelligence to listen to your internal GPS.

  • Practicing mindful self-compassion daily to stay grounded and resilient.

Burnout isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a signal — and when you listen with compassion and curiosity, you can use it as a turning point toward healthier, more sustainable ways of working and living.

Anxiety Autism Child Wellness Mental Wellness Parenting • • • • • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

The PDA Puzzle: What is Pathological Demand Avoidance and how do we manage it?

Written by: Sarah Engels, MS, TLLP

Do everyday tasks — like brushing teeth, getting dressed, or household chores — sometimes feel like major uphill battles? Sometimes it’s children pushing back against tasks and routines; other times it’s adults facing the very same challenges at work, at home, or in relationships. If this sounds familiar, it doesn’t mean you or your child are “difficult” or “lazy.” Instead, PDA reflects a very real difference in how the brain processes stress, autonomy, and expectations. 

Research has shown that while occasional avoidance is a normal human behavior, some individuals, both children and adults, experience extreme anxiety when faced with everyday demands. This can trigger intense resistance, withdrawal, or even intense emotional reactions. These patterns are known as Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), a profile of emotional and behavioral responses often seen in individuals who are neurodivergent.

PDA has become a bit of a buzzword on the internet lately. You may have heard it discussed in a Tik Tok or Instagram Reel. But what, really, is PDA? How does it develop? And how do we manage it?

Understanding PDA can help families, teachers, bosses and individuals themselves respond with greater empathy, flexibility, and effective support—so everyday life feels less like a battle and more like a team effort. 

What is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?

PDA is a pattern of emotional and behavioral responses, but not an actual diagnosis on its own. Although it is common to experience this pattern as part of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), not all neurodivergent individuals experience PDA, and not all individuals who experience PDA are neurodivergent. In short, PDA can be experienced as part of ASD or other neurodiverse diagnoses, but can also be a stand alone pattern. 

Typically, PDA is characterized by intense avoidance of completing a task (or tasks) that we have the skills and abilities to do, because it is perceived to be a demand or even request. But we must back up and look at what happens before the intense avoidance, because important cognitive (thinking) and emotional patterns happen first.  

Why does PDA develop?

Neurodivergent individuals can experience inflexible patterns of thinking and behaviors, which means they struggle to adapt to change or new information. In addition, neurodivergent individuals may have a difficult time with social communication and understanding social cues. Layer in sensory processing challenges often experienced by neurodivergent individuals, and you get the perfect recipe for overwhelm. 

Difficulties with inflexible thinking, adaptation to change, challenges with social communication and sensory overload are brewing under the PDA patterns. They make it hard to understand where a demand came from, and often demands can feel like they came out of nowhere. This creates an uptick in anxiety and rigidity, that then triggers avoidance behaviors and sometimes emotional escalation. 

Another common underlying factor fueling PDA is poor executive functioning. Difficulties in executive functioning typically make it harder for individuals to track schedules or structures, especially in social environments. Even seemingly small tasks or chores can feel intensely overwhelming when an individual can’t plan the steps or ‘see’ the end of the task. This overwhelm often incites feelings of anxiety and irritation, causing an individual to throw up barriers and avoid these tasks.

Recommendations for moving through PDA

A collaborative approach to problem solving, highlighting effective communication is a key part for working through PDA. Oftentimes, neurodivergent individuals, children and adults, require more direct communication about expectations, but this can have the opposite effect for those who experience PDA. Here are three tricks for figuring out the PDA puzzle.

1. Sneak in choices, not commands

Make tasks a collaboration. Instead of saying “go put your shoes on” try saying, “red or blue shoes today?” Demands tend to make an individual with PDA shut down the task immediately, but by framing it as a choice, we feel less pressure.

2. Bend don’t break

Not every hill is the hill to die on. Pick your battles carefully. More flexibility on your end, will lead to less anxiety and resistance to fuel PDA. This also means when supporting a loved one, a child or partner with PDA, regulating your own emotional reaction to their PDA patterns is key.

3. Connection first

Focus on being a team first. Individuals who exhibit PDA patterns also often have areas of intense interest. Join in their world and understand their motivations by incorporating their special interests into tasks. This will increase their internal motivation to complete the task and they will feel more validated and understood. If an individual who experiences PDA is comfortable, they are more likely to meet you half-way. 

Conclusion

PDA can make getting daily tasks done feel like climbing a mountain. But you are not alone in this feeling, and you do not have to face this challenge alone. Treatment for PDA behaviors focuses on addressing thought patterns, increasing flexible thinking, and building adaptive skills. We can help you put together an individualized treatment plan to address these challenges. Call our office at 248-220-3332 or make an appointment today with the link below. 

https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/ 

Child Wellness Parenting School Services Uncategorized By Beth Church 0 Comments

From Chaos to Calm: Back-to-School Transitions That Work

Written by: Jessica Hauser-Harrington, PhD, LP

One of the best ways to support your family’s mental wellness in the back to school chaos is to use evidence-based strategies to manage the transition. These strategies can help lower stress and support a calmer entry into the school year for kids and parents!

Reviewing Last Year’s School Routine: Keep What Works, Change What Doesn’t

Why planning ahead makes school mornings more calm and less stressful.

It’s useful to start with a review of the previous year’s routine–what worked last year and what didn’t? Was the morning routine a hot mess? Was the carpooling schedule too complicated? Do you need to adjust your children’ wake up time? There’s no need to reinvent the wheel if things are working well, but if there is room for improvement, the weeks leading up to school’s start can be a good time to test out some new possibilities. 

Practicing New School Routines to Reduce First-Day Anxiety

From visiting the playground to testing new routes—ease the transition before it starts.

If there is a change to your routine – a new school, a new start time, etc.– practicing the new changes can help reduce anxiety a great deal. If your children are starting at a new school, take a few trips to the school’s playground or sports fields. Join a local parent group or school PTO group online and invite some new potential friends to meet at the playground before school starts to help encourage new friendships and have a few friendly faces at school the first day.  If your child will be walking to school on their own or with friends, take a few practice trips to review the route and give reminders about safety concerns. Practice might not make perfect, but practice does make us calm. 

Organizing School Supplies and Daily Essentials for a Stress-Free Morning

Routines are easier to execute when everything has its place 

Another helpful tip for preparing to return to school is assigning a place for frequently used items such as backpacks, laptops or tablets, lunch boxes/snack bags, water bottles, etc. Whether you use hooks, baskets, closets, or drawers, ensuring that everything has a place, and establishing a regular routine to put everything in its place can help cut down on the morning chaos. It’s common for kids to get distracted when they have to hunt down a missing or forgotten item, especially if they have to go to another floor of the home to look for it. One of my favorite tips is to keep a basket of socks in the same place where you keep your shoes. Another is to keep a set of toothbrushes and toothpaste in a first floor bathroom to minimize return trips upstairs.

Delegating School Prep Tasks to Boost Kids’ Independence

Developmentally appropriate responsibilities that build confidence and lighten your load.

Delegating school-related tasks is also a helpful way to share responsibilities and reduce stress. Help your kids take ownership of the developmentally appropriate tasks such as picking out clothes the night before, getting themselves dressed, packing lunches and/or snacks, making sure devices are charged, or even preparing simple breakfasts in the morning. Use the weeks leading up to school to practice these tasks by demonstrating, helping, and supervising your children when they take over the task. Not only will this build your child’s sense of self-efficancy and confidence, but it can take a few things off your plate too. Working together as a family to figure out what you can prepare ahead of time helps create calmer, less rushed school mornings.  

Sleep Schedule Reset: Getting Kids Ready for School Mornings

Gradual bedtime adjustments based on pediatric sleep recommendations.

Finally, if your family’s sleep routine has changed over the summer, make sure to start making small adjustments over the course of several days (or a week if possible) to get back to the bedtime and wake up time that will ensure your child gets enough sleep to feel rested and refreshed to start the school day. You can start by moving bedtime back by 15 minutes each night. Likewise, if your child needs to be woken up for school, start setting the alarm or other wake up routines in 15 minute increments to get to the necessary time. As a reminder, The American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommend the following sleep guidelines:

  • Preschoolers (3-5 years): 10-13 hours per 24-hour period, including naps.
  • School-aged children (6-12 years): 9-12 hours per 24-hour period.
  • Teenagers (13-18 years): 8-10 hours per 24 hour period. 

Conclusion

If you need help establishing routines, figuring out developmentally appropriate responsibilities, and increasing family cohesiveness, the professionals at Monarch are here to help! Parent coaching is available separately or as part of your child’s individualized treatment plan. Call or make an appointment through this link today! https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/ 

ADHD Mental Wellness Parenting Uncategorized • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Summer Series 5: Emotions Are Your Brain’s GPS: Helping Neurodivergent Kids Navigate Big Feelings

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Emotions First, Regulation Later: Understanding Neurodivergent Emotional Processing

Our brains are wired for emotion before anything else. Long before we can talk, plan, or problem-solve, our emotional processing systems are fully online. For neurodivergent individuals—including those with ADHD, Autism, learning disabilities, or executive functioning challenges—emotions often feel bigger, faster, and harder to manage.

Ever notice your child goes from zero to sixty emotionally in seconds? That’s not misbehavior—it’s biology.

Emotions are your body’s built-in GPS. When we learn to tune in, name them, and understand what they’re pointing us toward, we can transform big feelings into powerful guides.

 This Skill Set Targets:

  • Intense emotions and emotional dysregulation

  • Impulsivity and difficulty with self-control

  • Social skills and perspective-taking

  • Problem-solving and conflict resolution

“Name It to Tame It”: The First Step to Regulation

Did you know that humans all over the world share six core emotions? These emotions are universal and hardwired:

  • Happy

  • Sad

  • Angry

  • Fear

  • Surprise/Shock

  • Disgust

When children use clear, basic emotion words instead of vague ones like “upset” or “mad,” it gives their brain a better roadmap for what to do next. Start practicing emotional literacy by naming the emotion out loud, then ask:

“How big is that feeling right now? Let’s rate it from 0 to 10.”

You can also model by labeling emotions in yourself as well as fictional characters::

  • Yourself: “I feel sad right now. I think I need a break.”

  • Your child: “It seems like you’re feeling angry—maybe a 7?”

  • Fictional characters: “What do you think she felt in that moment?”

Boosting Inner Self-Talk for Better Reflection

Many children with ADHD and similar profiles experience a delay in developing self talk — the voice in your head that helps you reflect, reason, and pause before acting. That’s why increasing external self-talk can help regulate emotions and reduce impulsivity.

After labeling an emotion, try asking open-ended reflection questions:

  • “What do you think made her/them/you feel that way?”

  • “What do you think they/you want to do now?”

  • “Is that something that will help or hurt?”

This kind of dialogue builds emotional insight, problem solving and executive functioning skills over time.

Link Emotions to Motivation: What Is This Feeling Telling Me?

Each emotion gives us a biological message about what we need or what action we should take:

Emotion Message
Sadness You may need comfort, closeness, or a break
Anger Something feels unfair or threatening—defend or set a boundary
Fear You feel unsafe—gather more info, seek safety or support
Surprise/Shock Pause and assess—something unexpected happened
Disgust Avoid or move away from something potentially harmful
Happiness Move toward connection, play, or enjoyment

Try asking:

  • “What do you think your sadness is telling you you need?”

  • “What might that character do next, based on the emotion they were feeling?”

This step helps children translate emotion into action, increasing both motivation and emotional intelligence.

Final Thoughts: Emotions Aren’t the Problem—They’re the Map!

At our practice, we help neurodivergent kids, teens, and adults understand that emotions aren’t bad—they’re information. With the right tools and support, these emotions become stepping stones toward self-awareness, resilience, and connection.

If your child struggles with impulsivity, meltdowns, or social misunderstandings, you’re not alone. These strategies are a starting point—but sometimes individualized support makes all the difference.

Reach out for personalized emotional regulation coaching or support—we’re here to help your child thrive. Call 248-220-3332 or follow the link to make an appointment https://www.mbh-mi.com/make-an-appointment/  

ADHD Child Wellness Parenting Uncategorized • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Summer Skills Series #4: Physical Regulation for Neurodivergent Bodies & Minds: Tools to Slow, Go, and Grow

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Body Awareness Builds Brainpower: How Physical Regulation Unlocks Confidence and Calm

For many neurodivergent individuals—including those with ADHD, Autism, learning differences, or executive functioning challenges—the body doesn’t always match the moment. Sometimes, the energy feels like a rocket launch. Other times, it’s more like swimming through molasses. This tug-of-war between hyperactivity and under-activity can make everyday tasks—starting homework, daily routines, following directions, shifting between activities, or staying seated—feel monumental.

But here’s the powerful truth: with awareness and practice, we can teach our bodies when to slow down, when to go, and most importantly, how to respond with self-compassion.

Understanding Physical Dysregulation

Physical regulation refers to how we manage our body’s energy and movement in daily life. Neurodivergent kids, teens, and even adults often experience:

  • Hyperactivity: A revved-up, go-go-go feeling that can be hard to channel.
  • Underactivity: Feeling “stuck,” sluggish, or disconnected from physical energy.
  • Coordination and sensory challenges: Difficulty processing sensory input or coordinating movement smoothly.

These challenges become especially apparent during stress, social overwhelm, or academic strain—when other lagging skills like emotional regulation or communication come into play. That’s why learning to regulate physically can be a game-changer: it creates a stable platform from which all other skills can grow.

Let’s dive into three playful, effective strategies for supporting physical regulation in neurodivergent individuals.

1. Increase Awareness Without Judgment

Start by naming the experience in a neutral, observational way. This builds self-awareness without triggering shame or frustration.

Try reflective phrases like:

  • “Wow, I can see your body really wants to move right now.”
  • “Looks like your brain is having a tough time telling your body to get a move on.”

These statements validate the experience and introduce a sense of curiosity and control. Over time, they help kids and teens recognize their own internal cues.

2. Wonder Like a Scientist

When we respond to dysregulation with curiosity instead of correction, we create a sense of safety. Use open-ended questions to guide children and teens to connect with their needs.

Ask:

  • “I wonder what your body is trying to tell you?”
  • “What do you think might help you feel more ready to start?”

Approaching physical dysregulation as a clue, not a flaw, shifts the dynamic. Kids learn to become self-scientists—spotting patterns, exploring solutions, and advocating for themselves.

3. Cue and Practice Regulation Strategies

Physical regulation tools work best when they’re simple, fun, and consistently practiced. Here are some body-based strategies to try together:

  • Co-regulation: Move together! Go for a walk, do stretches, or dance. Your energy, presence and example helps them reset.
  • Movement breaks: Integrate silly, energizing breaks throughout the day—animal walks, jumping jacks, or “shake it out” songs.
  • Activate sensory cues: Use strong scents (peppermint or citrus), a light bop to the shoulder, or a spicy snack to stimulate alertness.
  • Calm cocooning: Support down-regulation with low sensory input—noise-canceling headphones, a soft blanket, or dim lighting can create a peaceful sensory retreat.

The key is consistency and flexibility—not every strategy works every time, and that’s okay. Keep exploring, and let your child lead the way. 

Final Thoughts: Confidence Comes from Connection

Building physical regulation skills is about more than managing energy—it’s about helping neurodivergent individuals feel seen, supported, and capable. With empathy, curiosity, and a toolkit of strategies, we empower them to meet life’s challenges with confidence and calm.

Whether your child is bouncing off the walls or stuck in slow motion, remember: the goal isn’t “perfect behavior.” The goal is connection, self-understanding, and growth.

ADHD Child Wellness Parenting Uncategorized • • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Summer Skills Series 3: Why Boredom Is a Brain Booster – Helping Kids Embrace the Pause

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Boredom Isn’t the Enemy—It’s a Superpower in Disguise

In a world filled with screens, swipes, and instant dopamine hits, boredom can feel like a bad word—especially to kids. But what if we told you that boredom isn’t something to fix… it’s something to foster?

Boredom is a break for the brain. It allows for:

  • Mental rest

  • Imaginative play

  • Creative thinking and building cognitive connections

  • Problem-solving

  • Emotional regulation

Helping kids build a tolerance for boredom doesn’t just reduce screen meltdowns—it helps their brains develop in deep, meaningful ways.

 Tolerating boredom targets important areas of self regulation and executive functioning:

  • Break the dopamine dump & deprivation cycle
  • Increase attention regulation
  • Reduce tech tantrums
  • Increase frustration tolerance and sustained focus

How to Build a Boredom-Positive Mindset (Without the Eye Rolls)

1. Start with the Right Mindset: Boredom = Brain Power

First things first: Let’s reframe boredom not as a problem, but a gift.

When kids say, “I’m bored,” they’re often in a transitional space—between structured stimulation and the freedom to explore their own creativity and intelligence. We begin to feel uncomfortable and seek input, activity or experiences. If we harness this initial discomfort and label it as a cue or an opportunity, the brain lights up with possibility.

Try a family mantra to shift the vibe. Make it validating, not dismissive.

  • “Boredom is your brain getting ready to create!”

  • “The cure to boredom is curiosity.” – Dorothy Parker

  • “Boredom means your imagination is about to wake up.”

Make it a poster. Put it on the fridge. Say it together. Make boredom an opportunity.

2. Create a Go-To Boredom Buster Bank

Don’t scramble for ideas when the “I’m bored” chant begins—plan ahead!

Build a boredom buster system:

  • A summer bucket list everyone contributes to

  • A popsicle stick jar with fun, screen-free activity ideas

  • A visual board of ideas grouped by type (indoors, outdoors, creative, physical)

Examples might include:

  • Make up a new board game, build an epic  blanket fort, DIY obstacle course, nature scavenger hunt, start a kid-friendly podcast

3. Introduce New Challenge Tasks

When boredom hits, it’s our brain telling us it’s time to grow! It’s the perfect time to do something new or challenging.

Try these:

  • Learn a new skill (juggling, typing, origami)

  • Start a puzzle or brain teaser

  • Build something from scratch (LEGOs, wood, recycled materials)

  • Invent a new recipe or snack combo, start a personalized cookbook

  • Design a toy or invention—draw it out, prototype it with paper or blocks

  • Make up a new handshake

  • Learn to speak a few phrases in another language

The goal? Push beyond “easy fun” into “creative challenge.”

4. Watch for Time Vortex Traps

Some activities suck time and drain dopamine—leaving kids and adults crankier than before. Time vortexes might feel good at first, but typically impact mood negatively and decrease tolerance for boredom in the long run.

⚠️ Keep an eye on:

  • Endless scrolling

  • Passive video-watching

  • “Just one more” gaming loops

These activities can hijack attention and tank frustration tolerance. Balance them with intentional downtime and active engagement.

5. Schedule ‘Mind Expansion Time’

Yes, you can schedule boredom—and call it something cooler.

Set aside 30–60 minutes a day for summer bucket list items, challenge tasks, or:

  • Open-ended play

  • Quiet thinking or prompted journaling

  • Reading something weird and wonderful

  • Tinkering, creating, or exploring

Call it “Imagination Hour” or “Brain Recharge Time.” Make it part of your daily rhythm—just like meals or bedtime.

6. Break out! Do Something You Don’t Usually Do

Break the routine to spark curiosity.

Ask your child:
 ️ “What’s something we always say we should do more often?”
 Maybe it’s:

  • Trying a new recipe

  • Visiting a local museum

  • Making cards for a neighbor

  • Going for a nature walk with a field journal

Make a “We Should Do That More Often” list—and pick one thing when boredom strikes.

Final Thoughts: Boredom Builds Brilliance

Boredom is more than a moment of “nothing to do.” It’s a launchpad for resilience, self-regulation, and imaginative growth.

With the right mindset and a few simple strategies, you can turn tech tantrums into moments of discovery—and help your child build lifelong mental wellness tools along the way.

So next time you hear “I’m bored,” smile and say,
 “Awesome. My brain’s about to do something amazing.” 

ADHD Child Wellness Parenting Uncategorized • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Summer Skills Series #2: Beating the Time Warp – A Fun Guide to Mastering Time Awareness

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

⏰ “Wait…That Took HOW Long?!” — Understanding Time Blindness

Ever asked your child to clean their room, only to find them still deciding where to start 30 minutes later? Or maybe they swear their homework took “two hours!,” when the task really only took about 5 minutes? 

That’s time blindness—the brain’s subjective sense of how time is passing. And for people with executive functioning challenges, fun tasks move like lightening while less fun tasks move like molasses. Sure, this is true for everyone to some degree, but it is amplified in individuals with executive functioning challenges or ADHD.

Time blindness is a real executive functioning challenge that affects:

  • Time awareness
  • Task initiation
  • Sustaining effort
  • Frustration tolerance

When kids’ perception of time is not very accurate, their anticipatory anxiety over less fun tasks (like chores or homework) increases, they struggle to start tasks, stay on track, or feel successful. But the great news? Time awareness is a skill—and we can teach it through fun, low-pressure Time Estimation Trials.

What Are Time Estimation Trials?

Time estimation trials help you or your child practice predicting how long tasks will take—then compare that prediction to reality. This not only strengthens their sense of time but also builds metacognition (a.k.a. thinking about their thinking).

The result? Better planning, smoother transitions, and less stress around task completion.

Step-by-Step: How to Battle Time Blindness with Estimation Trials

Here’s how to make time awareness click in a way that’s fun and empowering:

1. Pick a Task

Start simple. Choose everyday tasks that your child already does. This should be a relatively neutral task – not one they hate, but not their most loved activity either:

  • Brushing teeth

  • Packing a school bag

  • Doing one page of homework

  • Putting toys away

Keep it bite-sized to avoid overwhelm.

2. Estimate the Time (and Write It Down!)

Ask your child:
 ️ “How long do you think this will take?”
 Have them write down their guess—even if it seems way off. This helps build self-awareness and gives you both a reference point.

3. Start the Timer and Complete the Task

Use a visual timer, stopwatch, or even a phone timer with a fun sound. Let them press start—kids love the control and it makes the process feel official!

4. Record the Actual Time

When the task is done, stop the timer. Write down how long it actually took. No pressure—just facts.

5. Reflect Together

Ask:

  • “Was it longer or shorter than you thought?”
  • “Wow, how did that 5 minutes feel? 
  • “What made it faster?” (e.g. focus, help, fewer distractions)
  • “What made it slower?” (e.g. getting distracted, needing help)

Help them connect the dots. This builds emotional regulation and frustration tolerance.

Pro Tip: Keep a “Time Estimation Log” to track progress over time. Watch their awareness grow!

Why It Works

Time estimation isn’t just a trick for better task management—it supports the brain to:

  • Recognize the passage of time

  • Anticipate effort and energy needed

  • Feel more in control (hello, task initiation and frustration tolerance!)

  • Build confidence and reduce meltdowns (Yay resilience!)

When kids start predicting their time more accurately, it boosts their independence—and self-esteem.

Real-Life Example:

Task: Unloading the dishwasher
 Estimated Time: 5 minutes
 Actual Time: 9 minutes
 Reflection: “I forgot to count putting the silverware away. Next time I’ll include that!”

See? No scolding. Just learning and growing.

Final Thoughts: Time Tracking Is a Skill—Let’s Teach It That Way

Time isn’t invisible to all kids—it just feels that way for many with executive functioning challenges. But with a little structure, curiosity, and encouragement, we can help them build their inner clock.

So, next time your child gets lost in the “time warp,” try a Time Estimation Trial. It’s simple. It’s supportive. And it works.

⏳✨ Time awareness doesn’t naturally develop for everyone — it’s built through experience and reflection!