Author: <span>Beth Church</span>

ADHD Child Wellness Parenting Uncategorized • • • • • • • By Beth Church 0 Comments

Summer Skills Series 1: Build Better Routines, Build Better Minds

Written By: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

We were thrilled by the amazing response to our recent workshop, “Living Your Best ADHD Summer: 5 Easy Breezy Skills.” Many of you reached out, eager for more—and we listened! We’re excited to announce the launch of our brand-new summer blog series, where every other week we’ll spotlight a fresh, practical skill designed to help you boost your or your child’s executive functioning all season long. Whether you joined the workshop or are just tuning in now, get ready for simple strategies, helpful tips, and a summer full of growth. Stay tuned—your best ADHD summer is just getting started!

Let’s Talk Routines: The Secret Sauce to Stronger Minds

If you’ve ever struggled to get your child to brush their teeth without a 20-minute negotiation, you’re not alone. But here’s some good news: building purposeful routines isn’t just about smoother mornings—it’s about helping your child develop essential executive functioning skills like planning, attention, and memory. Yep, routines can actually support brain development!

Executive functioning skills are the brain’s management system. When your child builds a routine, they’re working on things like:

  • Planning and organization
  • Working memory
  • Sustained attention
  • Task completion
  • Consistency and follow-through

And the best part? You can make this process fun, visual, and even LEGO-based!

Step-by-Step: How to Build a Brain-Boosting Routine

Step 1: Collaborate, Don’t Dictate

Kids thrive when they have a say in their day. So before laying down the law, team up. Ask questions like:
 ️ “What’s something that feels tricky in the morning?”
 “Want to help make a plan that works better for both of us?”

This collaborative approach builds buy-in, reduces resistance, and sets the stage for success.

Step 2: One Routine at a Time

Instead of overhauling your entire day, focus on ONE routine.
 Start small:

  • Getting dressed in the morning
  • Cleaning up toys
  • Packing a sports bag the night before

Choose just one. Master it. Then move to the next.

The pattern of routine building will transfer to new tasks, but it’s best to build the skill on just ONE routine.

Step 3: Break It Down—And Make It Visual

Executive functioning is easier to develop with clarity. Many tasks ADHDers struggle with might seem simple, but when we really break them down into concrete steps, we realize there’s a lot to remember and so many ways to get off track! 

Break each routine into small, doable steps. Make them concrete.
 For example, the “Get Dressed” routine could look like:

  1. Pick out clothes
  2. Put on underwear and socks
  3. Shirt on
  4. Pants on
  5. Comb hair

Pair each step with a picture, drawing, or even photos of your child doing each task. Visual supports make abstract tasks feel real and achievable.

Step 4: Model It Together (and Celebrate the Effort!)

Do the routine with your child at first. Narrate what you’re doing and highlight their engagement:

  • “Wow, you really stayed focused!”
  • “I love how you remembered the socks today!”

Praise effort, not outcome. A missed step isn’t a failure—it’s an opportunity to notice attention, persistence, and growth.

Step 5: Cue and Celebrate Independence

As your child gains confidence and consistency in completing the routine,, start cueing the steps instead of doing them together:

  • “What’s the first thing you do after picking clothes?”
  • “What’s next on your routine chart?”

When they complete a step independently, celebrate!
 A high five, a hug,  or a shout-out at dinner can go a long way.

Step 6: Support Smarter with Scaffolding

Some kids need a little more support—and that’s perfectly okay. Tailor the tools to their strengths:

  • Visual learners? Use colorful picture schedules or drawings they help create.
  • Auditory learners? Set reminders on Alexa or record fun sound cues.
  • Hands-on learners? Use toys to represent each step—like LEGO stations that guide the way through a bedtime routine.

The key is to make the structure supportive, not stressful.

Final Thoughts: Routines Are Brain Workouts in Disguise

By building purposeful routines, you’re doing more than creating structure—you’re helping your child grow their mental muscles. Executive functioning doesn’t come naturally to every brain, but with support, modeling, and encouragement, it can be developed over time.

So whether you’re tackling the morning madness or bedtime battles, remember: it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress, praise, and connection.

LGBTQIA+ Mental Wellness Pride Month By Beth Church 0 Comments

Pride: 6 Ways to Engage in Radical Resistance through Self-Care

Written By: Alyssa Hedke, MA, LLP

During this month, we celebrate the LGBTQIA+ community, identity, joy, and resilience. To acknowledge Pride, we must also acknowledge the significant struggles the LGBTQIA+ community continues to face- struggles that persist well beyond the month of celebrations and festive parades.

Due to ongoing discrimination, LGBTQIA+ individuals experience mental health challenges at significantly higher rates than their cisgender, heterosexual peers. LGBTQIA+ individuals, especially those who are trans, nonbinary, BIPOC, disabled, or have cross sectional identities, face disproportionate mental health challenges. These include:

  • Increased risk of anxiety, depression, PTSD, and suicidal ideation

  • High rates of rejection from family, school, or faith communities

  • Barriers to affirming mental health care and safe housing

  • Constant code-switching or self-monitoring in unsafe spaces

These ongoing challenges are exhausting to manage on a daily basis. So, how can you combat these daily obstacles to living your best authentic life? One way is by practicing self-care focused on rest, self-love, and re-energizing yourself.

Self-care has become a hashtag seen all over social media. We often reduce it to spa days, scented candles, and trips to the ice cream store. But for LGBTQIA+ individuals, self-care can be a deeply personal act of survival, resistance, and restoration. Living authentically in a society that often denies your existence takes tremendous energy and willpower. Daily life may include navigating microaggressions, discrimination, family rejection, or outright hostility—both in public and online. Standard self-care advice often overlooks these realities.

Self-care for queer and trans people must consider identity, expression, and community.
 Here are inclusive and identity-affirming self-care practices for LGBTQIA+ individuals—or anyone supporting them through allyship.

1. Focus on Your Joy Without Guilt

 In a world that profits from shame, choosing to take up space and celebrate yourself is an act of defiance and joy.

Try:

  • Making a playlist of queer artists who energize you

  • Wearing clothing that affirms your gender or style

  • Reconnecting with affirming memories, chosen family, or your coming-out journey

  • Celebrating personal milestones (e.g., name change anniversary, first Pride)

2. Set and Honor Your Boundaries

Your body is yours — and so is your right to rest, move, say no, or disconnect for a while.

Try:

  • Setting boundaries with unsupportive people — even if they’re family
  • Creating a “safe zone” in your home with affirming sensory cues; images, items, and scents
  • Practicing movement that feels empowering (walking, dancing, stretching)
  • Saying “no” without over-explaining your reasons. You don’t owe people explanations for needing a mental health break.

3. Connect With Your Chosen Family and Community

Connect with the LGBTQIA+ community or your chosen family — the friends, mentors, and partners who love and affirm you.

Try:

  • Organizing low-pressure check-ins with queer friends
  • Hosting a queer book club or hangouts
  • Celebrating holidays or birthdays with your chosen community
  • Reaching out, even when it’s hard — someone likely needs you too
  • Connect with safe, supportive members of the community of LGBTQ folks in your city, college campus, faith organization, or online friend/support group.

4. Channel Creativity and Expression

Spend time fostering your creativity and your individual expression to celebrate yourself!

Try:

  • Writing poetry or journaling about your lived experience
  • Creating visual art or playlists that express your truth
  • Dressing in ways that align with your inner self, regardless of norms
  • Consuming art from and with others you feel aligned with

5. Rest as Resistance

In a culture that tells LGBTQIA+ people to always fight or “hustle” for respect and basic dignity, rest becomes radical.

Try:

  • Practicing mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing
  • Listening to your body without guilt or self-judgment
  • Creating a regular “do nothing” ritual — without needing to feel as if you need to “earn” it
  • Sleeping in
  • Turning your phone off or set to Do Not Disturb for as long as you need.  Letting the world wait until you are ready.

6. Reach out for professional support

Due to the daily challenges and potential for burnout, it can be helpful to seek professional support from mental health providers who offer affirming care and guidance on how to move beyond survival mode.

Prioritize: 

  • Making an appointment with a therapist (if you already have one). 
  • Beginning the journey of seeking therapy, utilize resources that are vetted for the LGBTQIA+ community 
  • Connecting with a crisis counselor through TrevorChat

 

Conclusion

Queer-affirming self-care should not be viewed as a luxury- it can be life-saving. It’s not always pretty or Instagram-worthy. Sometimes it may look like crying in the shower, ghosting toxic people, or quietly affirming your worth in the mirror. Wherever you are in your journey — out, closeted, questioning, healing, surviving, affirming — you deserve care that sees all of you. You are worthy of rest, joy, and love all year long-not just during the month of June. But regardless, Happy Pride- a month to celebrate YOU.

Anxiety Depression Mental Wellness PMAD Stress By Beth Church 0 Comments

Recognizing Perinatal Mood or Anxiety Disorders

Written by: Jessi Beatty, PhD, LP

There are so many pressures that come with being a new parent. It often feels like there’s an expectation for things to ‘come naturally’ and be filled with overwhelming joy and love. The reality of bringing a new life into the world is filled with tectonic physical changes and intense emotions of all kinds. This can make it difficult to talk about maternal mental health, as most moms feel the pressures of stigma surrounding their less-than-perfect experience. During May, which is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, we want to establish a new normal; one  in which all parents can openly acknowledge both amazing and challenging aspects of parenthood, and advocate for individuals who experience perinatal mood or anxiety disorders. 

Pressures of Parenthood

The transition to parenthood is challenging in one way or another for almost everyone. So many changes happen during this time: sleep, relationships, work, schedules, and other areas of life can have significant shifts. It can be hard to know what a ‘normal adjustment’ is when you are feeling tired and overwhelmed as you adapt to these big changes. Feelings of shame or embarrassment can come up if the transition feels harder than you expected or if you’re not feeling the “glow” of new parenthood that is often romanticized in our society. However, it is normal to feel this way, and you are not alone in this.

We tend to be hard on ourselves and put the blame on a lack of something inside us rather than realizing the struggles could be an indication of a medical condition and not a sign of failure. Additionally, each person’s experience of parenthood is unique. For some, bonds and adjustment come fairly easily, while for others, it may be more difficult. Neither of these experiences are the “right” one.

The intensity of these changes and the onslaught of emotion and pressure can make it difficult to recognize when a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder (PMAD) is present, so it is important to know the signs and symptoms, and the differences from normal ‘baby blues.’

Baby blues vs perinatal mood or anxiety disorder (PMAD)

Research shows up to 80% of new parents experience some mood swings and weepiness during the first 2-3 weeks of parenthood. This is often labeled “the baby blues” and will resolve without any medical assistance.

Up to 20% of women can continue to struggle past this period and experience more significant symptoms of depression during their pregnancy or postpartum period. About 6% of pregnant women and about 10% of postpartum women have anxiety, intrusive repetitive thoughts, panic, or post-traumatic stress. Sometimes women experience anxiety alone, but others can experience both anxiety and depression during this period. Postpartum Psychosis, where the mother’s thoughts are significantly altered  and often scary,  occurs in approximately 1 to 2 out of every 1,000 deliveries. The media often calls postpartum psychosis depression, but it is a separate and unique illness. Any of these reactions can also occur with miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, or infant loss.

When someone starts to feel sad, worried, or not interested in activities that used to bring them joy, and experience several other symptoms (discussed next) they may be experiencing PMAD. You may feel more irritable, agitated, or overwhelmed rather than sad or nervous. Other symptoms might include insomnia or sleeping most of the time, appetite changes, restlessness, feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness, difficulty concentrating, and physical symptoms such as dizziness, rapid heartbeat, or aches and pains that last beyond typical recovery from birth. 

Risk factors for PMAD include a personal or family history of anxiety or depression, previous depression or anxiety, or thyroid imbalance. When symptoms move to this level of intensity seeking outside support is important and there are many research backed treatments that work very well. 

Comparison of Baby Blues vs. PMAD

  Baby Blues PMAD
When it starts After birth (can start while at the hospital) During pregnancy or up to one year postpartum
How long it lasts A few days, up to three weeks Longer than three weeks
Typical symptoms Mood is generally happy or calm with bouts of moodiness, tearfulness, anxiety and/or sadness

 

Trouble concentrating

 Mood predominantly sad, anxious, or irritable with some of the following symptoms: scary thoughts, hopelessness, feelings of guilt, problems sleeping, fatigue, loss of interest in activities typically enjoyed, changes in appetite, trouble making decisions or trouble concentrating

 

When to seek help

Consider reaching out for help if your emotions make it difficult to:

  •       Parent effectively
  •       Take care of yourself effectively (including getting enough sleep or eating well)
  •       Perform daily tasks or complete work tasks

Other important signs you should reach out for help:

  •       Thinking about hurting yourself or your child
  •       Feeling like you are often reexperiencing a traumatic birth experience, pregnancy  loss or other past traumatic event
  •       Frequent bouts of crying
  •       Feeling hopeless or worthless
  •       Experiencing persistent scary thoughts such as your baby being harmed or you harming your baby
  •       Worrying that you are “losing your mind” or “going crazy”
  •       Feeling like you have not been able to bond with your child and/or you are not fit to be a parent

Conclusion

Perinatal mood or anxiety disorders are temporary and treatable with professional help for both moms and dads. The transition to parenthood is tough on us all but if it reaches a level described above it’s important to reach out for help. Treatment typically includes some combination of increased and targeted self-care, social support, therapy, and/or treatment of symptoms with medication when necessary.

Self-care is aimed at increasing resilience during a time in which so much mental and physical burden is placed upon you. It includes proper rest, good nutrition, assistance with baby and other children, and caring for personal needs such as exercise, relaxation, or time with partner/spouse. Building up your support team for a wide range of supports is important during this time. Talking with a counselor or therapist who understands perinatal mental health disorders can be extremely beneficial. There are several research backed treatments that can help you improve your mood, cope more effectively during the transition to parenthood, and develop the relationship with your child(ren) and partner that you want.

Resources:

Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net/

World Maternal Mental Health Day – May 7, 2025: https://wmmhday.postpartum.net/

Pine Rest Mother and Baby Day Program: https://www.pinerest.org/day-programs/mother-baby-program/

Pine Rest Resource: Understanding PMAD: https://www.pinerest.org/media/Understanding-PMAD.pdf

University of Michigan Women and Infants Mental Health Program: https://medicine.umich.edu/dept/psychiatry/programs/women-infants-mental-health 

Zero to Thrive Clinic: https://zerotothrive.org/clinical-services/perinatal-psychiatry-clinic/

Book recommendation: Mom Brain, Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Mom-Brain-Strategies-Overwhelming-Motherhood/dp/1462540260

Resources in the Community

Nature’s Playhouse: https://www.naturesplayhouse.com/

Honey for Moms: https://www.honeyformoms.com/

Scarff JR. Postpartum Depression in Men. Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience. 2019 May 1;16(5-6):11-14. PMID: 31440396; PMCID: PMC6659987.

Kim P, Swain JE. Sad dads: paternal postpartum depression. Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2007 Feb;4(2):35-47. PMID: 20805898; PMCID: PMC2922346.

Autism Mental Wellness Uncategorized By Beth Church 0 Comments

Transitions on the Spectrum

 

Written by Jessica Hauser-Harrington, PhD, LP

Spring is a time of transitions and new beginnings. For high school seniors, it brings the end of their secondary education, and often, the transition to college or jobs. For seniors on the Autism Spectrum, it can be a time of both excitement and celebration, as well as one of potential anxiety and uncertainty. Fortunately, with planning and preparation, worries can be reduced and celebrations enjoyed more thoroughly.

Marking the Transition

These transitions are typically marked with milestone celebrations such as graduation ceremonies and parties. For an individual with ASD, large crowds, loud noises, and the need to sit still in one place for extended periods of time can be challenging. Pre-planning strategies to manage sensory overload, anxiety, and fatigue during these milestone celebrations is key. Can they wear ear buds or noise dampening/canceling headphones? If there will be long stretches of time between meals, is there a way to pack a snack? Is there a comfort object or fidget that might help the sitting and waiting feel less stressful? Is it possible to sit near an aisle where getting up and taking a break would be more feasible? Will your son or daughter want to take pictures before the ceremony, after, or on a different day?

When it comes to graduation parties, don’t assume that your child will or won’t want a party. Discuss expectations for the number of guests, the foods served, and how social you want your child to be at the part. This is their first time around celebrating this milestone, and discussing expectations will leave more room for joy.  It may also be useful to pre-plan breaks or “calm down” areas if the party extends over what is a typical interval of interaction time for your child. Would a different type of celebration altogether be more enjoyable–be willing to think outside the box. Finally, make sure to discuss expectations with siblings and extended family members who may also be joining in celebrating your senior.

Transitioning to College

If your son or daughter is transitioning to college, planning ahead is also important. Some teenagers think they will automatically acquire a certain level of responsibility, initiative or skill just by becoming a “college student.” Unfortunately, that’s not usually the case. Whether it’s six months ahead or six weeks ahead or maybe just 6 days ahead, have discussions about what life skills are needed to be successful at college above and beyond the academic demands and start practicing. If they don’t know how to already, teaching your child how to do laundry, how to cook some basic meals, how to manage basic finances (including setting up a bank account that a parent has access to as well), and how to navigate bus systems or public transportation (if applicable) will be important. Use a scaffolding technique, where you demonstrate basic skills, allow your child to replicate them with supervision, and then add on more complex or advanced skills as they progress. You may also consider creating social stories, checklists or algorithms around these new responsibilities that your child can take with them to college.

Many colleges and universities also have ASD-specific programs to help support your son or daughter both academically and socially. Making sure to look into these options and apply to them (if required) ahead of time. Similarly, if your child has an IEP or 504 plan, these can transition into college-level accommodations. Ensuring that your child’s testing is up to date is also a key part of this process as most colleges and universities will want recent testing data. Contacting the school’s office of student support services to learn what their requirements are and what the process is to get the accommodations set up is important and something that you may need to do with your child. If your son or daughter is 18 or older, make sure that they sign the necessary releases of information that will allow you to also communicate with university staff as needed.

If your child sees a therapist at home, consider options for telehealth (if in the same state or allowed by the therapist’s licensing/credentials) or seek out referrals in your child’s new city. Most, if not all, colleges and universities have counseling centers on campus that offer both individual therapy as well as group therapy options. The session number per student might be limited though, so identifying clinicians in the local community is also a great idea. Also, if your child takes regular medications, make plans to have a large enough supply, transfer the prescriptions to a pharmacy on or near campus, or look into mail-order delivery. If your son or daughter will be picking up their medications on their own for the first time, practice going to the pharmacy with them. 

Transitioning to a Job

If your son or daughter is transitioning to a job, utilize resources from your local school district. She or he may have options to take interest inventories that may help point him or her in the direction of a job or work environment they may be interested in. Public schools also have specific transition planning for students with IEPs. Job training resources through the school district or MichiganWorks can be an option to help build skills and identify potential jobs. Helping your son or daughter to be realistic about the number of hours he or she feels they can work, whether he or she wants a public-facing or behind the scenes job, and what level of supervision he or she will require is important. Discussions around managing finances, contributing at home financially and/or through chores will help clarify expectations for your adult child and the changing relationship you may have with them as they age. 

Additional Resources and Relevant Websites for Adolescents and Adults with ASD/CI/DD

Community Mental Health Oakland County https://www.oaklandchn.org/ 

Autism Alliance of Michigan (call to get resource information sometimes better than navigating their online system) https://autismallianceofmichigan.org/ 

Living and Learning Enrichment Center (www.livingandlearningcenter.org) 248-308-3592

OUCARES at Oakland University (http://www.oakland.edu/oucares/): for Adult social groups and employment skills 248-370-2424

On My Own: Independent living resources for adults (https://onmyownofmi.org/)

MORC: Services for individuals with physical and intellectual disabilities in Oakland County (https://www.morcinc.org/)

Community Living Services: https://www.comlivserv.com/ 

The ARC of Oakland County: Non-profit that focuses on advocacy and community participation for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (https://thearcoakland.org/) 

Michigan Rehabilitation Services: https://www.michigan.gov/leo/bureaus-agencies/mrs

Possible places to find additional support:

Friendship Circle: https://www.friendshipcircle.org/

SAIL (group of parents in the area looking for living solutions for their adult children with special needs): https://sailhousingsolutions.org/

Family Therapy Parenting Relationships Stress By Beth Church 0 Comments

Forging Your New Family Portrait: How to Shield Kids’ Mental Health During Divorce

Written by Jessi Beatty PhD, LP
Edited by Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

The choice to separate or divorce from a partner is complex and incredibly difficult. However, separation or divorce can be the best decision for everyone involved, including the children. Research has shown that children who  are exposed to open, unresolved conflict between their parents regularly are more stressed than children from divorced families. Divorce can provide a model of adult behavior and relationships that emphasizes working out problems with compassion, wisdom, and appropriate action. Among the many decisions on reorganizing your lives, are choices about parenting. When divorce is the best option, there are specific ways parents can make the transition smoother and support their children’s mental health.

Forge a new picture of family 

Divorce can be an opportunity to consciously shape your family bonds in a way that feels positive and powerful. Spending a little time reflecting on what was and was not working in your former family configuration will go a long way in forging this path forward. How do you want your new family to relate to each other? What are each family member’s roles and how do they express these in the family system? What aspects of family are most important to you – time spent together, emotional support, humor, respect, independence? In what ways will you be sure these aspects flourish in your family moving forward? 

Stick to the routine as best as possible

Divorce or separation usually causes major disruptions to routines and schedules. Consciously striking  a balance between honoring old routines and establishing new ones can help ease the transitions and provide a sense of stability.  Maintain routine activities like eating dinner together, going on walks, bedtime routines or having weekend movie nights. Make a list of these routines and highlight the ones you are purposely going to stick to in this transition. This helps your family stay connected as well as help maintain typical expectations for behavior. For instance, maintaining your typical chore or homework schedule can help your child meet their responsibilities at home and at school, which in turn helps them feel stable and confident.  You can give a little more grace and patience, but if routines and schedules change drastically, it can be very confusing and make your children feel more out of control.

It’s important to spend time together as a family. This can be with or without the other parent, whichever works best for you and the new relationship you are creating with your former partner. Quality time is a great tool for helping kids feel safe, loved, secure in their relationship with you, and can help to establish a new sense of normal.  

Make sure they have a space that feels like their own

Children can be very concrete, which means they associate complex ideas or relationships with more simple or physical things or spaces. Their understanding of family relationships, stability and safety may be associated or linked with a physical location, like the former family home. Moving to a new home or visiting a parent in their new residence may have a larger, destabilizing emotional impact than expected, bringing sadness, anxiety or negative behaviors to the surface. You can increase your child’s sense of control and ‘ownership’ over this new space by letting them arrange furniture, pick out small items to decorate, and shift some belongings from their previous home into the new space.  

Limit conflict in front of the children

Keeping the lines of communication open between you and your ex-partner regarding the children is very important. Research has consistently shown children cope best when they are not exposed to adults’ ongoing conflicts. If there is high conflict between you and your ex, keep any conversations to basics like pickup and drop off times, doctor’s appointments, important school dates, or necessary information about your children.

Communication should be between the adults. Do not use your children to send messages back and forth between your ex-partner. Possible ways to exchange information include email, a book that goes back and forth with the children or one of the many co-parenting apps that are available. They can help maintain privacy by allowing you to remain in contact with your ex-partner without giving out phone numbers or email addresses, keep track of important dates in the schedule, share key information about the child(ren), and transfer money. Some are free and some charge a fee. In Oakland County, Family Wizard is often the recommended tool for communication between co-parents. 

Use neutral language to describe your ex

This can be one of the most challenging aspects of managing child-parent relationships during and after divorce. The pull to express to your child why and how you, or your child, were wronged can be intense. You may want to describe their other parent’s shortcomings, hurtful behaviors, or negative choices as a way to cope with your own feelings about the situation, or validate the child’s. And while helping to validate a child’s hurt feelings is important, ongoing or regular disparaging comments about the other parent can be very harmful to a child.  This is because when we are little, we form our identities and stable sense of self by associating with our caregivers and loved ones. 

When you speak badly about your ex, your child folds these words into their understanding of themselves, and this hurts your child, as well as your relationship with your child. Eventually the child’s identity becomes more independent and isn’t so entwined with their parents’.  As your child grows and matures, they will be increasingly aware of relationship dynamics and come to their own understanding of their parents’ behaviors. Providing them the room to develop their identity and stable sense of self without disparaging their other parent sets them up for resilience.  

Connected Kids are Healthy Kids

Unless safety is a concern, children benefit from strong relationships with both parents. It’s in the best interest of your child to support the other parent’s connection in their life as best as you can.  Of course it’s hard to do at times, but try to keep your anger, resentment, blame, jealousy, or hatred from impacting your child’s relationship with your ex.  In the aftermath of divorce or separation many people need help sorting through and coping with their strong emotions, and this is totally normal!  Reach out to friends or family to help you process the negative emotions and frustrations, or reach out to us for support.

Conclusion

When divorce is the best option for the family, it can be hard to forge your new family portrait. While this process is difficult, with time and support, families can find ways to grow stronger together, open the door to new beginnings, and create healthier family dynamics overall.

 

Depression Mental Wellness SAD By Beth Church 0 Comments

Beyond the Winter Blues: What is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How can we Fight It?

 

Written by Sarah Engels: MS, TLLP

The winter months can be tough. The colder weather and shorter days can make normal tasks feel extra difficult during this time. Many people feel like they are running on empty or they might have a hard time participating in the activities they normally enjoy. It could seem even harder to focus on work we need to get done. These all can be symptoms of  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a more intense version of the “Winter Blues,” that can impact our functioning this time of year.

Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that is associated with the season, most commonly winter. It’s very biologically driven, associated with changes in our brains and bodies that occur during winter. Individuals with SAD often experience the onset of symptoms during the fall, as days get shorter and there is less sunlight. The shortening of days and lack of sunlight impact parts of the brain that affect our “sleep-wake cycle”, or circadian rhythm, and our mood. Researchers have even found that levels of melatonin, a hormone associated with our sleep patterns, are associated with SAD symptoms.

Seasonal Affective Disorder, just like other depressive disorders, manifests in a variety of ways, so individuals’ symptoms  may vary. Some of the symptoms of SAD include excessive tiredness, increased anxiety and feelings of guilt/hopelessness, decreased ability to focus, social withdrawal and loss of interest in activities you might normally enjoy. Depression is not just sadness that comes and goes, but rather, a shift in overall mood and functioning, which can even include feeling low to no emotion. And just like other forms of depression, SAD can occur on its own, or be triggered by other life events or stressors. .

5 Ways to Combat the Winter Blues

There are many things you can do on your own to help fight off the winter blues or SAD. It all starts by encouraging mental wellness and mindfulness during these tough times.

1. Keep Engaging in Activities You Normally Enjoy

When dealing with depressive symptoms, it can be very easy to avoid participating in our regular activities. To combat SAD, we have to go against our instincts to hibernate and continue to participate and engage in the activities that normally bring us joy. This allows us to counter social withdraw and isolation, and continue to push positive neurochemicals such as endorphins, oxytocin and dopamine.

2. Take Care of Your Physical Wellness

There is a direct link between physical and mental wellness. When our bodies feel good, it helps our minds feel good too. So as the season hits hard, it is important to address both. Some ways to address your physical wellness are eating healthy, well-balanced meals, decreasing use of alcohol and drugs (yes! Including caffeine!), exercising for at least twenty minutes each day, and getting enough sleep. Be sure to attend regular check ups with your primary care physician and follow their recommendations as well.

3. Take Advantage of the Sun When You Can

We feel happier and more focused when we are able to get consistent sunlight, as the sun impacts the parts of the brain that control our mood and circadian rhythm. It is especially helpful to get sun when you wake up in the morning, as this is a great way to jumpstart your body and your day. It can be as simple as a short walk outside in the morning that will leave you feeling more energized and ready for the day. If you see the sun peak out – try to spend time outside or by a bright window.  Physicians even prescribe special lights that mimic sunlight (without the skin damage) for SAD patients… ask your primary provider if you think this might benefit you.

4. Talk to Your Family and Friends: You Are Not Alone!

Depression and the winter blues can make us feel very isolated, and often we will isolate ourselves when we are feeling down. Connecting with friends and maintaining an active social life can decrease our risk for social isolation and encourage positive communication. Friends and family want to help us when we are feeling down, but they are not mind readers! By communicating how we are feeling with friends, we are able to receive the social support we need.

5. Seek Treatment As Needed

Don’t wait until things get bad to seek help. If you or a loved one are experiencing symptoms of seasonal affective disorder for a prolonged period of time, reach out to a professional for help. It is better to seek help before crises come up so that we are equipped with the tools to handle hard times before they happen.

Conclusion

Depression is not something we can ‘just snap out of.’ It takes time and effort, and eventually day by day, we begin to feel better. There is relief and there is hope. Reach out today if you or a loved one are experiencing symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder and would like to begin treatment.

Holidays Mental Wellness Self-improvement Uncategorized By Beth Church 0 Comments

Going Beyond Resolutions: Cultivating Change Through Gratitude

Written by: Jessi Beatty, PhD, LP

It’s that time of year when people are setting intentions and goals for the new year.  One important way to transition from the past year into the next is to consciously build or create more positive thoughts and actions. We often think of these as resolutions, but if we look deeper into what supports positive change, we can move beyond resolutions and into lasting positive change.

Rooted in Gratitude

Positive thoughts and actions are often rooted in our experience of gratitude. Research has shown the important benefits of gratitude to our overall mental health, motivation, and physical health.  While our minds naturally notice and focus on the negative to keep us safe and aware of our surroundings, this tendency can burden us with anxiety, depression and stop us from starting positive behaviors. However, with practice you can notice more of the good in your life. It doesn’t have to be a big undertaking to teach your mind to experience gratitude regularly. It’s more about short periods of consistency over time. When we notice what brings us a sense of gratitude, we tend to DO more that brings us that unique and wonderful feeling.

Set up short moments of gratitude practice each day

The first step is, of course, upping the frequency that we consciously attend to gratitude. Regularly building the habit of recognizing and appreciating the good things in your life, no matter how big or small, helps build happiness, self-esteem, and keeps you in the present moment. You don’t have to spend a long time focusing on gratitude to get its benefits. You could add it into your morning or bedtime routine or take a break during the workday to reflect. Possible ways include spending a few minutes listing three good things that happened today. It could be little things like someone holding the door for you, noticing how beautiful the sunrise is, getting a text from a friend or bigger things like finishing a project you’ve been working on for a long time.  You can make a conscious effort to notice when others are doing good things and tell them thank you. Each thank you builds something positive for you both. You can go on a walk and use your senses to notice the sights, smells, and feel of the sun or wind. Regular gratitude practice helps us connect with others, our surroundings and ourselves. 

Change how you ask your family about their day

Another way to help yourself and your loved ones focus more on gratitude involves how you ask about their day.  Rather than simply asking how their day was, try asking: What surprised you about your day? Who made you feel cared about today? Who did you help today? What made you laugh today? When did you feel calm, content or relaxed? 

Questions like this may lead to better conversations rather than getting the typical “fine” or “it was good” response. Questions like these can encourage us to share and reflect on the good, training us to scan for the positive in our days. It can help balance any negative things that happen, which are also important to talk about. It can be so easy to get into the pattern of venting or focusing on the bad with our loved ones. These questions challenge us to reframe the way we reflect on our day.

Change the questions you ask yourself

While building conversations around the good things that happen day to day with our loved ones, it’s also important to be aware of what we are training our own brains to focus on. Our words matter. Not just with others, but also with ourselves! Our internal dialog can easily get stuck in negative spirals or repeatedly place a distorted emphasis on what went wrong. When we focus solely on what might or did go wrong, we aren’t focused on what we did do, or could do right. To break a negative thinking cycle, try asking yourself: What did I learn in the situation? What would I do differently if I had it to do all over again? Focusing on gratitude often helps us set an effective pathway forward for what we actually want, rather than just highlighting what didn’t work or what we’d like to avoid. If anxiety about what’s to come creeps in and you start thinking of all that can go wrong, ask yourself: What if it goes right? What is the more likely scenario? Will this matter in a week? In a month? In a year? You can use visualization to set a positive mindset for upcoming tasks and set yourself up for things to go well, rather than getting trapped in what could go wrong and worst case scenarios. 

Conclusion

Making the intention to cultivate gratitude as a daily practice, in your life and your loved one’s lives, helps kick start the new year in a positive direction.  Things will not always go the way you would like and situations are often out of our control, but building the practice of noticing what is going right helps motivate positive and effective changes, and give important boosts to your mood. Regular practice helps to reset our mindset, pulling us out of the negative spirals, and keeps us moving in a positive direction. Gratitude helps us feel connected and motivated!  

Wishing you and your loved ones a happy and healthy 2025!

Contact us if you have a goal for 2025 that you would like help working towards!

Child Wellness Children Therapy Mental Wellness Parenting Teenage Uncategorized By Beth Church 0 Comments

Mental Health Influencers: Understanding & Managing the Impact of Social Media & Gaming on Youth Development

Written by: Julie Braciszewski, PhD, LP

Do you have a tech zombie at your house? Do you walk into a room only to find a loved one bathed in the blue light of a screen, with glazed over eyes and a blank expression? Or maybe you have a tech gremlin. They appear calm and relaxed on screens but then become irritable or even intensely angry when it’s time to get off screens? Or perhaps you have a Youtube-ing, tech-toc-teen  who appears to partake in social media light-heartedly but shows concerning signs of being influenced in negative ways. Chances are, your child is engaging in gaming or social media use, and you are wondering how this is influencing their mental health?   

Screens & Executive Functioning

You’re not crazy… increased time on screens is associated with worse executive functioning. Executive functioning describes the brain processes that help guide goal driven behavior and self-regulation. So if your child seems to have more difficulty completing less-fun tasks such as picking up after themselves, getting ready to leave the house, or even homework, it might be because screen use has gotten out of balance. You might be yelling ‘OMG just get it done!’ in your household lately, you might want to re-examine the amount of tech use and its timing in your household. This balance is especially hard to attain when kids are on screens all day at school.  

Rewards to Real Life

Most apps, games and social media are designed to manipulate the reward centers of our brain. When we get something we want, achieve a goal, or experience pleasure, positive neuro-chemicals and activity lights up our brain’s reward center. You can even see it on brain scans!  When using apps, games and social media we get lots of little and big reward ‘pings’ in our brain without actually having to exert much effort. So when we re-enter the real world and need to do tasks that require sustained effort and result in more subtle or even long-term rewards, we may react with irritation, frustration, and even feelings of helplessness. Some kids and teens will even react with intense anger when it’s time to put down screens and re-enter the real world.  

Identity Building from Social Media

Identity building in the era of apps, gaming and social media is tricky! Content is pushed via algorithms and is based not only on our patterns of viewing and consumption, but also our identifying factors such as age and gender. Our feeds tend to be narrowly based and can become dangerous echo chambers, leading to reduced exposure to people, ideas and information. Research clearly tells us that  this information greatly impacts our thinking patterns, such as what we think of ourselves and others.

The Social Media Sads

Social Media has a complex relationship with mental health. It can provide a sense of connection and positive inclusion in groups, but it can also fuel fear of missing out, ‘should’ thinking, and intensely unrealistic expectations for everything from looks to socializing and material belongings. 

I Am The Influencer Now

We know social media and gaming will continue to have a huge influence on our thinking, behavioral, emotional and social patterns. But if we are aware of these impacts, we can be conscious of having our own positive influence over learning to regulate screen use in our own family and household. 

Here are some tips to consciously engage in screen time and social media use in your household: 

  1. Model good tech use boundaries: Establish tech free zone in the house (e.g., dinner table? Bathroom? Bedrooms?), and tech check-in times (bed time? Study time?) 
  2. Establishing the timing of when tech is allowed in your household is paramount to kids developing self-regulation skills around tech use.  Fostering the mindset that necessary tasks get done before tech time helps hone expectations and self-regulation. 
  3. Step away from screens. Establish a norm of setting phones/iPads down and turning screens off when engaging in work, chores, eating, etc.  Create physical distance between screens and other essential activities.
  4. Build Self-worth and Identity through real-world competencies: Learning tik-tok dances is fun and makes us feel cool with our friends, but witnessing real-world impact increases positive self-worth and identity much, much more 
  5. Shared Values: Take time to sit with your child and teen and consume social media or games together. Your input and perspective does influence their inner narrative

If you feel your child or teen is demonstrating concerning signs of too much screen use or social media consumption, contact us and speak with one of our specialists.